A Day In the Life
by iamtheunknown15
Summary: Set in the "Always You: Take 2" universe. A series of one-shots about Alex and Olivia from dating to work to marriage to life with their three kids. I take requests!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU

 **Author's Note** : Thank you for checking out my new A/O one-shot series! As indicated in the description, this story takes place in the "Always You: Take 2" universe (for those of you who haven't read it, the fic is a rewrite and expansion of my original story, "Always You"). If you haven't read "Always You: Take 2," it may be useful in understanding where some of the characters and plots are coming from.

For this series, I'm really looking for **your input**! Either in the comments or through PM, let me know any one-shots you would like to see. They don't have to be full prompts or ideas – anything that'll give me some thoughts. I'm excited to collaborate more with those following the story.

So far I've received a couple of requests: a fic on Alex and Olivia's decision to have another child after their miscarriage/ more of a background on Sadie

I wanted to get this series up so I could start receiving suggestions for one-shots, so here is a short one to start us off!

\- iamtheunknown15

 **Tropical Storm Hermine**

 ** _Set in 2016: Olivia (48), Alex (42), Mia (7), Sadie (4), Noah (1)_**

 ** _Rating: M (all adult content has an in-text warning before it starts – most of the story is G)_**

Summer 2016 in Manhattan had been particularly humid. The air was thick and heavy, its sticky moisture enveloping your skin every time you walked outside. Trips to the park had proven unbearable unless they involved playing in the sprinklers, and the mugginess only seemed to intensify the subway's unique odor.

By the time summer was coming to a close, the start of school just around the corner, Olivia and Alex Cabot-Benson were desperate for some kind of relief from the steamy conditions. The sergeant, for one, had a job that involved too much running around to make the heat desirable, and the ADA – while indoors at work – had been bearing the brunt of the responsibility of bathing the couple's three sweaty, squirmy children after their days spent scuttling around outside at day camp and day care.

What neither woman anticipated, however, was the cataclysmic clash of a hot and cold front that occurred just before Labor Day, resulting in Tropical Storm Hermine. While the impact of the storm was proving to be less dramatic than anticipated, the family was spending the better part of the last few days before the start of the school year stuck inside due to thunderstorms.

Today was a particularly strong one, and Olivia felt she had all but been blown home from work by the wind. By the time she arrived home, her clothing was completely drenched in spite of the rain trench that she wore. Her blonde wife chuckled from the couch as she watched the brunette pad across the wooden floor in the living room, grimacing from the sensation of soaking wet socks. "Did you have to build a raft to get back," she joked.

"Not yet, although a pal like Huckleberry Finn would come in handy right now," the sergeant replied, taking a seat in the arm chair and peeling the sodden fabric off of her feet. "How was your day?"

"Not bad," Alex said, closing one of the manila folders in front of her. "Just finished up some prep for the Xavier trial."

Olivia quirked an eyebrow. "I'm surprised the kids let you get any work done," she stated with a chuckle. "Where is our motley crew anyway?"

"Mia and Sadie are helping Noah get ready for bedtime," Alex grinned, standing up and walking over to her wife to finally greet her with a kiss. "I'm surprised they didn't hear you come in…" Normally, when either the blonde or brunette arrived home from work, their brood bolted to meet them at the door.

"Probably couldn't over the thunder," Olivia suggested. "Wicked, wicked storm." As if on cue to her words, a large crackle of thunder banged followed by the lights in the family's brownstone flickering slightly.

"Mama!" Alex and Olivia heard their two daughters cry out. They headed down the hall to Noah's bedroom. Mia and Sadie were standing wide-eyed and frightened.

"Mommy, you're home!" Sadie shrieked, rushing into her brunette mother's arms.

"The lights were flickering," Mia explained nervously. "Mommy, Mama, are the lights going to out?"

"I'm not sure, Mia," Alex replied, walking over to scoop Noah off of the ground, where he was crawling with his onesie half undone. Snapping the rest of the buttons closed, she continued, "We'll have to just wait and see. But for now, how about you give Mommy a kiss hello and finish getting ready for bed."

The blonde girl pondered her mother's response for a moment, clearly skeptical, but ultimately complied. "Hi Mommy," she greeted Olivia, giving her a hug and kiss.

"Hey baby girl," the sergeant grinned. "How was camp today?"

"The cabin is gross when we can't go outside," Mia lamented, rolling her eyes. "But we made these," she said, holding out her wrists to reveal a stack of embroidery floss friendship bracelets.

"Very cool! Did you trade them?"

"Yep!" Mia explained excitedly, showing her mom which of her friends each of the bands was from.

"What about you, Miss Sadie," Olivia asked the younger girl, gently pulling the girl's hand away from her face to stop her from sucking her thumb – a habit she and Alex were trying to break the tiny brunette of.

"We drawded more pictures and painted rwocks. I show you?"

"Oh course, sweetheart!" Olivia replied excitedly. Just as they were about to head towards the kitchen where Sadie's projects were, however, there was a large bolt of lightning outside followed by complete darkness. Power outage.

Both Mia and Sadie let out blood-curdling screams, in turn startling their younger brother and spurring him to cry.

"Shh, shh it's okay, Noah," Alex soothed gently, rocking the toddler on her hip. She squinted to try to make out the location of her daughters and wife but the room was pitch black. Luckily, Olivia had her phone in her pocket and switched on the flashlight app. "Okay, girls, it's going to be alright," she comforted. "Can the two of you find your way over to me carefully while Mommy goes and gets more flashlights?"

"But if Mommy leawves it'll be dawrk again," Sadie whimpered, holding on to the brunette even more tightly. Alex sighed.

"Hey, guys, this isn't bad!" Olivia countered enthusiastically. "We can make a fun adventure out of it."

"An adventure," Mia asked skeptically.

Olivia nodded. "Yeah! How about we all camp out in the living room for now? We can light some candles and read some stories together and play cards…"

"Okay, Mommy," Sadie agreed cheerfully, becoming far less anxious by the outage.

"That does sound like fun…" Mia said with a smile.

"Great. Now, first things first, everyone needs to hold hands and follow me out to the living room," Olivia instructed, leading the troops down the hall. Once they got there, they tasked themselves with grabbing the pillows and blankets off of the couches and from a couple of storage baskets, creating a comfortable puddle in the middle of the floor. Meanwhile, Olivia grabbed a few spare flashlights, handing one to each of her daughters. As she went over to the kitchen to light some candles, she gave the girls another request. "Mia, can you please hold Noah while Mama and Sadie take one of the flashlights and get some books and games?" As the seven-year-old kept her brother occupied, the other Cabot-Bensons finished setting up their power outage campsite.

When all was said and done, Olivia took a step back and observed their set up: Alex and the kids were cuddled up against a pile of pillows, her wife with a story book in hand. The soft glow of candles and more stringent flash lights illuminated the room softly. Smiling, Olivia nestled next to Mia, scooping Noah on to her lap as Alex began to read. "Once upon a time…"

The power outage proved persistent. Before long, a very sleepy Noah had drifted off, and Olivia had taken him back to his room to rest in his crib for the night. The couple and their two older children, however, stayed up far past the girls' bedtimes, laughing and giggling as they read more stories, told jokes, and played "Old Maid." By some stroke of (un)luckiness, Olivia had gotten stuck with the Old Maid card each time, and her daughters were relentlessly amused by teasing her about her own age ("The Old Maid must know you is old like her!" Sadie had kidded, causing her older sister to cackle). Meanwhile, Alex had also let her daughter practice the braiding she was learning at camp on her silky blonde locks. While they were perhaps more like knots than braids, Mia was so proud of her handiwork that even Alex, in all of her perfectionism, couldn't mind that her hair was being tangled. Olivia couldn't help but smile – motherhood had certainly melted the "Ice Princess."

By about ten, however, even the very excited Cabot-Benson girls were beginning to grow tired. "Mommy," Sadie yawned while curling up against Alex, "When will the lights come back?"

"Probably by morning, Sade," said the older brunette.

"Will it still be rainy?" Mia asked.

"Actually, according to the forecast, it should be pretty sunny," Alex replied, after checking her iPhone.

"Yay!" Mia exclaimed with a wide grin. "We should go to bed now then or Sadie and I are going to be tired for swimming lessons." Quite pleased that their daughters seemed to be overcoming their fear of the dark, the couple led them back to their bedroom, tucking them both in and leaving them each with a flashlight should they need it. Using Olivia's phone light once more to navigate themselves back to the living room, the couple then straightened up the pillows and blankets and gathered up the candles.

Just as Alex was about to extinguish some of the last flames, however, Olivia stopped her. "Save those so we have something to get back to the bedroom with," she instructed.

Alex furrowed her brow. "Can't we just use our phones again?" she asked.

"Yeah, but that's far less romantic," Olivia replied with a sheepish grin.

The attorney quirked an eyebrow and gave her wife a coy smile. "Romantic? What exactly do you have in mind for the rest of the evening, sergeant?"

"You'll see, counselor."

Heading into the master bedroom, the couple placed the remaining candles on their nightstands. Olivia then turned and smiled at her wife, who looked comfortable and relaxed in a pair of light-weight jogger sweatpants and a tank top, her hair still mussed from their daughter's stylings. Candlelight danced on her pale skin, illuminating the slight flush it held from her anticipation. After all of these years, Alex looked even more beautiful than the first time Olivia saw her walk into the precinct.

Alex walked towards her wife, placing her hands on the brunette's hips. "I love you," she said with a soft smile, looking into the sergeant's deep brown eyes.

Olivia grinned. "I love you too." **[M-rated content – innocent eyes beware]** The older woman moved to press her lips against Alex's, capturing her in a long, sensuous kiss. Allowing her hands to roam her wife's lithe body, Olivia toyed with the hem of her white tank top before pulling in off, revealing the blonde's full breasts. After her pregnancies, they had changed in size, also loosing some of their natural perkiness, but Olivia had long since diffused all of Alex's insecurities, proving through her actions just how much she appreciated her wife's body. Bending down to take one of the firm, pink nipples into her mouth, Olivia groped the attorney's other breast as she teased her with her tongue. Alex let out a soft moan, tangling her fingers in the sergeant's dark brown hair.

When Olivia eventually lifted her head, the blonde tasked herself with unbuttoning her wife's shirt, quickly ridding her of the garment along with her black, lace-accented bra. Kissing a trail haphazardly down her wife's torso, Alex lowered herself to her knees. The attorney unfastened the brunette's slacks and slipped her pants and underwear down her legs so they pooled on the ground. Spreading the older woman's legs slightly, she drew her index finger slowly through Olivia's folds, moistening the digit and earning a groan from the sergeant. Smirking in satisfaction at her wife's response, Alex pressed her face against Olivia's vulva, placing a kiss on the neatly trimmed dark patch of curls covering it. She then slipped her tongue languidly across the woman's cunt.

She continued to pleasure her wife with her mouth until Olivia felt herself teetering on the edge. Stepping backwards, Olivia helped Alex to her feet before slipping the blonde's sweats and cotton thong off of her. As Alex kicked them aside, she gave her wife a hungry look. "I want you to fill me," she husked.

Inhaling sharply at Alex's request, Olivia smiled and opened one of the bedside drawers while Alex scooted on to the bed. Grabbing the double-ended dildo the couple had recently purchased, situating it within a leather harness. Alex leaned over, beckoning the brunette to come closer to the edge of the bed. Grabbing the long end of the dildo, the blonde helped guide the smaller end of the member into her wife's slit. Olivia let out a groan of approval before she completed adjusting the straps to the harness. When she finished, Alex looked up at her seductively. "How do you want me?"

"Get on your knees," Olivia rasped, watching in pleasure as her wife flipped over on the bed, positioning herself so her firm ass hung over the edge. Unable to control herself, Olivia bent over and placed a sharp love bite on one of the cheeks.

"Hey!" Alex said, looking over her shoulder, trying to hide her amused smirk.

Olivia gave her a mischievous look. "You know how much I love your ass," she defended.

"Yes, I see you checking it out in court all of the time," the blonde chuckled.

Olivia nodded. "And you also know, counselor, that sometimes when we're in court and I'm watching your ass, I'm thinking of how much I just want to bend you over the table right then and there…"

Leaving her wife with that visual, Olivia gently glided the dildo into Alex's vagina, pausing to make sure that the blonde was able to adjust.

"Please," Alex breathed, instinctually pressing backwards to guide the cock deeper into her.

That was the cue Olivia was waiting for. Wasting no time with teasing, Olivia picked up a steady pace of thrusting, feeling her own arousal rise from the combination of the pressure against her G-spot and the mewing sounds Alex was currently making as she drove into her. While their sex life was rather versatile – both women preferring to assume different roles in the bedroom at different times – there were some nights where Alex wanted nothing more than to give up all of her control, trusting her wife to fuck her however she liked. While it had taken Olivia some time to be able to trust herself in such a dominant role – her own deeply rooted fears about her genetics coming into play when the two first started experimenting more in bed – the brunette was far more comfortable now and enjoyed everything from teasing the attorney till she thought she would burst to fucking her fast and hard. Like now.

Olivia's hands gripped around Alex's hips as the blonde bounced back and forth, up and down the cock, both women's sighs of pleasure escalated into amorous moans as they both came closer and closer to climax. Soon unable to hold out much longer, Olivia finally angled the dildo just so, knowing it would rub against Alex's most sensitive spot. And it did – sending the blonde into a powerful orgasm, the brunette following in suit not long after. The two remained like that, collapse on top of the bed and one another, still connected by the toy, for several minutes as they recovered. After catching her breath, however, Olivia carefully pulled out of the blonde, who winced slightly at the sudden emptiness, before removing the rest of the harness and dildo and heading towards the master bedroom. While in the past, the couple tended to leave their "accessories" lying around until the next morning to clean up, a couple of close calls with their children taught them that it was better to be safe than sorry.

Once everything was cleaned up and put away, pajamas also put back on, both women curled up in bed together in a comfortable silence, Olivia resting her head on Alex's chest as the attorney ran her fingers through the brown tendrils. Olivia had just begun to doze off when she heard Alex's voice.

"Remind me to wish for a power outage more often."

Laughing, Olivia shook her head at her wife's comment before giving her one last kiss goodnight. Tangled up in their sheets and one another, smiles on their faces, the two finally succumbed to a peaceful sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Sorry for the lack of updates! I'm a student and work part-time, so sometimes life is too hectic for me to write : ( I'll try to get the next bit up within a couple of days though!

Nightmares, Part 1

 _Setting: April 2011_ (skewing with the timeline of the canon a bit with when "Witness happened")

Olivia sighed heavily as she inserted the key into the front door, twisting it open quickly to escape the still brisk air of early Spring nights. It was late. And she was exhausted.

The past six months had been, quite frankly, hell. Both she and Alex were still in the process of grieving the loss of their son in October, a pain that sometimes physically overwhelmed the brunette detective with its visceralness. At the hospital, the couple had made progress in trying to cope with the loss together, but in the months following each woman seemed to have retreated further into herself. In February, Alex had made the decision to travel to the Congo for several weeks, taking a brief leave of absence from the DA's office to work with the International Crime Court and – although this was an unspoken truth – to take some space to sort through her fraught state of mind. Olivia had tried to be supportive, but balancing work, caring for a toddler, and a long distance relationship had been no easy task. She was thankful for Kathy, who helped care for Mia as she tried to manage SVU's ever-expanding case load. After a couple of weeks, the detective had started to get into a groove, and Mia had adjusted to her new routine, especially because Alex facetimed with the pair religiously in spite of the time difference.

But then, out of nowhere, it happened.

Last month, Elliot shot a teenage girl who opened fire in the precinct. Since going on administrative leave, Elliot had quite literally disappeared from her life. She was worried about her partner – unsure of what state of mind he must be in. And she felt entirely alone. Elliot had been the one fairly constant in her life for over a decade, someone she was almost always able to lean on. He was the only person she had been able to open up to about Max. And he was gone without any clear indication of when he would be back. Alex had just returned from the Congo, but Olivia still felt an emptiness that she couldn't put into words. Instead, she threw herself into her own work – currently, the investigation of a rape case involving a high-powered foreign diplomat. Olivia had hardly slept all week.

Stepping into the entry way, the detective kicked off her shoes and hung up her coat before heading down the hallway into the living room. "Hi sweetheart," she greeted the blonde who was curled up on the couch under a blanket with an ICC case file. Alex looked up at the wearied brunette with a soft smile before receiving a tired but tender kiss. "How is Mia?"

"She dozed off a couple of hours ago. God, I missed her so much." The detective smiled softly. "You want to go see her?"

"Nah, she's been sleeping really lightly lately. I don't want to stir her."

Alex nodded. "How are things at the precinct?" she asked, flipping the manila folder in front of her closed and shifting her attention Olivia.

The brunette sighed heavily as she headed into the attached kitchen. "A mess. Distasio is relying on his political connections. And Cragen has me babysitting Rollins," she vented, pouring herself a generous glass of wine. "Want any?" she offered, holding up the bottle.

Alex shook her head. "No thank you. Well, at least he's remanded to Riker's right now. Hopefully that will buy you guys some time without worrying about him making a run for it." She watched as Olivia headed towards the arm chair across from the couch. "Hey, come here," she implored gently, shifting so the detective could sit with her. Cradling the detective in her arms, she continued, "Have you found anything else on prior victims?"

Olivia shook her head. "Nope, but that shouldn't be surprising. After all, we're working down, and Cragen seems more concerned with training new blood than solving the case."

The blonde placed a soft kiss on her jawline. "Any word on Elliot?"

Alex felt Olivia stiffen. "Nope."

"I'm sure he'll…"

"He's been on leave a month. I'm sure he'll be back soon," Olivia replied curtly, abruptly getting off of the couch and taking a long drink, causing Alex to furrow her brow with concern. "I'm going to head to bed. I'm exhausted."

Alex nodded. "Mind if I join?"

"Of course, Lex."

The couple headed to their bedroom in silence, a tension that remained unbroken as they dressed and washed for bed. Whereas in the past they might have stayed up talking, as they slipped into bed, Olivia flicked off the bedside lamp, enveloping the room in darkness. Alex smiled softly as she felt the brunette curl up against her, providing her with a sense of comfort that made what she had to tell the detective much easier.

"So I went to the doctor today," Alex's voice pierced into the silence.

"Oh geez, I'm sorry Lex, I completely forgot."

"It's okay," Alex assuaged, giving her wife's shoulder a gentle squeeze. "I know how stressful the past couple of months have been on you and…"

"How did it go?" Olivia interrupted.

"Dr. Gil said that I'm doing very well. That uh, well all of my levels are completely normal. And there doesn't appear to be any long term damage from – you know…"

"That's wonderful, baby," Olivia said with a genuine smile as she sat up to place a kiss on the attorney's forehead. "I'm so so glad, Al."

Alex quickly wrapped her arms around the brunette, relaxing into the loving embrace that she was met with – something she had been longing for her entire absence. Something she never wanted to lose…

"Um-" she practically whispered, running her fingers through the strands of her wife's hair to ease her own nervousness. "So when Dr. Gil was checking my bloodwork—Well, we realized something." Alex couldn't see Olivia's face in the room's darkness, but she sensed the brunette's confusion. "I was – Well I am ovulating."

Alex felt Olivia grow tense. "Oh, well okay," she replied, clearly unsure of the implication of her wife's words.

Alex felt her pulse pounding in her veins. Her words came out frenetically. "Yeah um so, we hadn't expected that. I guess my cycle is still a little bit off. So um, it was a surprise. And well, because it's been enough time, I asked Dr. Gil – well, Dr. Gil agreed to –"

"Alex, I'm really not understanding you, sweetheart. Is everything okay?"

The attorney nodded. "Yes, yes everything is okay. More than okay. I mean, Liv, I might be pregnant."

Olivia felt her mouth gaping. "You what – how?" Olivia paused, a dark fear suddenly occurring to her. "Alex, did something happened when you were away?" she asked nervously.

Alex furrowed her brow. "What – oh, no. God no, Olivia, nothing like that," she assured, grabbing her wife's hands. "No, um, I had Dr. Gil perform an insemination today. To try to get pregnant again."

For a moment, Olivia felt like everything had frozen as she absorbed what Alex was telling her. Feeling her wife's palms grow flushed against her own, Alex tried to patiently await the detective's response but soon grew too anxious. "Liv? Baby, please say something," she whimpered.

This seemed to break the brunette out of her trance. "What the actual fuck, Alex?" Olivia snapped, grabbing her hands away and practically jumping out of the bed, flipping on the bedside lamp.

"I thought –"

Olivia scoffed. "You thought? So like, you actually let your brain process this decision. You, Miss Ivy-League educated, hot-shot attorney, thought that it would be a good idea to have Dr. Gil inseminate you without me there? Hell, without you even talking to me about it?"

Alex's dejected gaze remained downward as she played with the edge of the duvet cover. "I just wanted to – "

"That's just it, Alex. You wanted something. You wanted to do this. Just like you wanted to run off to the Congo with hardly a thought of what that would do to me. To Mia. You're selfish, Alex," Olivia spat, voice ragged with unreleased emotion.

By now, the blonde was in tears, her face panic-stricken as she stood up and tried to approach the detective. "I – I didn't know what to do," she sobbed, "I thought going away would make it better," she said, placing her hands on Olivia's forearms.

The brunette didn't react to her touch. "Well, you thought wrong."

"Olivia, please. I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking clearly. I shouldn't have made either of those decisions without you." She examined her wife's unreadable face closely, trying to get a sense of where her mind was. "Please, please tell me what your thinking."

Olivia met Alex's eyes with a piercing glare. "Honestly, Alex, right now I'm thinking that I don't know what the hell I'm doing here with you."

Alex recoiled as though she had been slapped. Suddenly, the sound of Mia's crying echoed through the room through the baby monitor. When Alex moved, Olivia held up a hand to stop her. "Stay."

Leaving the stunned and shaken blonde in her wake, the detective headed down the hallway into their daughter's room, composing herself before entering. "Hey sweet girl," Olivia greeted, scooping the toddler into her arms.

Taking comfort in her mother, Mia quieted, snuggling against the older woman. "Hi mommy."

"Hi baby," Olivia replied, swaying the little blonde. "Did you have a bad dream?"

Mia nodded. "Where Mama?"

"Mama is in our bedroom sleeping. But everything is okay now, baby," Olivia lied. "Don't be scared."

"Mon-stewrs?"

"No monsters, baby. Just you, me, and Mama. Come on now, let's get you back into bed," Olivia coaxed, settling Mia back under her blankets and placing a kiss on the little girl's forehead. As she stood to leave, she found Mia's wide eyes looking at her curiously.

"Mommy yewll," the toddler said, noting the real cause of her awakening.

Olivia grimaced, running her fingers through Mia's thin blonde hair to comfort her. "I'm sorry baby. I didn't mean to yell and scare you. Mommy just had a nightmare too."

A/N: This will probably be a two or three shot. Let me know what you're thinking/things you'd like to see! I'll do my best!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Here's the second and final part of "Nightmares." This oneshot was to address how Alex and Olivia decided to try to have another child after losing Max. I've received a couple of requests for other oneshots so far:

\- Alex being jealous

\- Olivia being jealous

\- Alex and the kids at Olivia's promotion

I'll get working on these, but please feel free to send more my way!

Nightmares, Part 2

Alex woke up from a fitful sleep, throat raw from many hours spent crying. She turned to face Olivia's side of the bed. Still empty. Exhaling in an attempt to center herself, Alex slipped out from under the covers, shuddering at the cold of the hardwood floor when it touched her bare feet. It was early – only about 4:30 am. Far before either she or Olivia had to get up for work. But she knew she had little hope of falling back asleep for another hour. She had hardly been able to sleep at all in the first place.

Alex padded across the room to the master bath, grabbing her robe off of the door handle, shrugging it on over her chilled shoulders. Stepping to the vanity, she looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were still red and puffy, grey bags starting to emerge underneath. Sighing, she splashed some cold water onto her face and quickly brushed her teeth.

She didn't know what was the best thing to do next. On the one hand, the fact that Olivia never came back from Mia's room didn't bode well and likely meant that the brunette wanted to be left alone. On the other hand, Alex couldn't just get ready for the day completely in the dark about how Olivia was – how they were. For all she knew, Olivia had dipped out of the apartment to spend the night at the crib.

Alex grimaced. The couple had fought many times in their relationship, however there were only a handful of times in which that fighting resulted in them not being able to sleep in the same bed – even fewer in which either woman didn't come home. The couple of times that had happened, Olivia had stayed with Elliot, something that wasn't possible right now. Her heart ached for what her wife was going through with her partner.

Resolved, Alex grabbed Olivia's bathrobe and headed down the hallway in search of her. She peeked her head into Mia's room, happy to find that the toddler was sleeping soundly. She worried that their daughter had woken up in a fit last night, and dreadfully acknowledge that this likely wasn't the first time. Why hadn't Olivia mentioned that Mia was having trouble sleeping? Of course, Alex knew the answer. Her wife didn't want her to worry, to feel guilty even though she had made the decision to leave the continent for several weeks. The attorney's stomach churned – she really had fucked up.

Continuing quietly down the stairs, she entered the living room and let out a breath that she hadn't realize she had been holding when she found Olivia asleep on the couch. She hadn't left, and Alex perhaps naively wanted to believe that this meant things weren't as bad as they felt. Her reprieve, however, only last momentarily. As she approached her sleeping wife to give her her robe to supplement the small throw blanket draped over her, her eye caught sight of something she hadn't been anticipating: an empty wine bottle and glass. Frowning, Alex picked up the bottle to inspect it. It was a bottle of Napa Valley merlot. Not a drink uncommon in their household – as both women enjoyed a glass of wine with dinner on occasion – but not a bottle that Alex remembered have been opened prior. Looking towards the kitchen, she spotted the cork screw and cork.

As Alex processed the situation, fury levels rising, Olivia began to stir, opening her eyes in a slight daze. Before the brunette could speak, Alex held the offending bottle out to her like a bag of evidence. "Did you drink this?"

Olivia blinked a few times, allowing herself to wake up. With a blank expression, she nodded. "Yeah, so?"

The attorney's eyes furrowed into angry slits. "So? Olivia, you drank a whole bottle of red wine!" she spat as hushed as possible.

"You're not my parent, Alex. I don't need you to tell me when I should have a drink."

"Bullshit! And quite frankly Olivia, you know as well as I do that your own mother didn't set a great example with that."

Olivia's eyes widened in shock. She stood, brown eyes full of fury. Straightening her posture, she faced the blonde, faces almost touching. "What the hell did you just say?" she practically snarled.

Olivia had never hit Alex. The brunette had never even come close to hurting the blonde and, as far as Alex was concerned, was the last person on this planet who would do anything violent to her. But there was something about Olivia's stance, about the anger in her eyes, about the tone in her voice, that made the attorney wince involuntarily, as though she was preparing for a blow.

Olivia's entire face fell as she watched her wife's automatic response. Did Alex think that she would hit her? Did she look as though she would? Horror settled over the detective, immediately slackening her body. "Al—"

"Get out."

Olivia looked at her wife in shock. "Wh—"

"You heard me Olivia," Alex replied coldly. "You downed a bottle of wine in a night. In our home. With Mia in the next room. God forbid something had happened where one of us needed you… I don't want you around our daughter like this. I'm going to take a shower, and I don't want to see you when I get out. We can talk after work."

With that, Alex tossed the robe on to the couch, spun on her heel, leaving a stunned Olivia in her wake.

/Page Break / Page Break / Page Break / Page Break / Page Break / Page Break /

They didn't talk after work. In fact, for the couple of days that followed, the two women hardly spoke at all. For the sake of their daughter, both women came home every night and had dinner together with Mia. They made light conversation but mostly focused on the toddler, engaging her with talking and little games in an exerted effort to call attention away from the palpable tension between them. At night, after Mia fell asleep, Olivia left for the crib. When the toddler woke up in a fit, Alex took the role of comforting her, going so far as to spend on of the nights curled up in the rocking chair in her nursery. When Mia asked where Olivia was, Alex lied through omission: "She's sleeping."

In the morning, Olivia would return early to get ready for work (and to avoid others knowing that she wasn't spending the night in her own bed). She and Alex would only briefly cross paths – the attorney simply waiting for Olivia to get in before darting out the door to get to work early. Neither woman had mentioned it, but each were consumed with worry that this was the beginning of a new stage – the beginning of what separated life would look like. At work, their conversations about the Distacio case were tense and only revealed the current fissure in their relationship.

They had won part of the case – unlawful imprisonment. A slap on the wrist that sometimes made her wonder how much of this was worth it. At the end of the day, those in power were remained those in power. Still, she felt relieved that the case was over.

Trudging back into the precinct, she was met with Amanda Rollin's anticipant eyes. "We handed the jury a mess," the older detective shrugged. "And they split the baby."

The younger blonde swung around in her chair, playing with the papers on her desk. "He's gonna appeal. Claim that that perp walk was prejudicial.

"We'll all take the hit. But at the end of the day, with this judge, he'll do a year at Riker's for the lesser charge."

"Got to come over on the Mayflower in order to make a rape charge stick," Finn chimed in from his position next to Munch.

"How'd she take it?" the older man asked.

"Hard."

Just as everyone settled back to their desk, Cragen called her into his office, his tone casual but inflecting that something was wrong.

"Nice working with you," Munch deadpanned.

Olivia furrowed her brow as she headed to his office. In her head, she ran over what chiding she was about to face. Her hesitance to help out with Amanda? Her doubt towards the victim's testimony? Figuring it was the latter, she attempted to explain. "I don't think that she was lying about being raped."

"Would you shut the door please?"

The detective couldn't help but betray her anxiety now as she did as instructed. This had to be serious. Had he picked up on the tension between her and Alex? Was he doubting whether or not they could work together? The air was still as she turned, looking at the captain for any sign of what he was about to say.

Cragen inhaled noticeably, bracing himself as he told the detective the worst news she possibly could received right now. "Elliot put his papers in." He watched as his detective gazed blankly at him, her face beginning to fall as she processed the information.

Olivia nodded her head slightly. "He's earned it," she mustered.

"And then some." Cragen examined his detective, whose eyes were glazed. "You wanna talk?"

Olivia shook her head slowly. "No."

"You wanna take a day?" he asked, already anticipating the answer.

Olivia looked away, attempting to compose herself. "I'm fine," she managed with a tight smile.

"Liv…" Cragen frowned, watching the detective that he viewed as a sort of daughter try not to crumble in front of him. "I'm sorry."

Olivia nodded, unable to speak lest she entirely lose her resolve to stay composed. She continued to smile at the captain, nodding, before quickly heading out of the office.

Cragen watched her leave, pausing for a moment before he picked up the phone and dialed 1 Hogan Pl.

Meanwhile, Olivia continued back into the precinct, trying to seem as normal as she could. Fin, of course, picked up on the change in the female detective's demeanor. "You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"Be right there," Munch said into the phone before anyone could interrogate further. "Got 1034 on Waverly," he relayed as he put the receiver down. The older man observed Olivia sigh heavily. He had a feeling that the detective's meeting with the captain pertained to her partner – and that it by the looks of it was bad news. "Fin, take Rollins."

"No, I'll go," Olivia protested. She had to go. Had to keep on like normal. "Give me five, and we'll roll."

Olivia wandered aimlessly towards an unoccupied area of the precinct. Finding an empty interrogation room, she slipped inside and shut the door. Pressing her back against the blue-grey cinderblock walls, she struggled to contain her sobs but it was a losing battle. Her body hurt - physically hurt - from the news, and she found herself hunching over before sinking to the floor.

As she struggled to stop her crying, she couldn't help but think of Elliot. Think of everything that they had been through together. The past decade and a half of their lives. Countless hours together, having each other's backs. Long nights on stakeouts with coffee and laughter. How he was there for her when her mother died. There for the horrible time in which Alex was in witness protection, and the detective had all but died herself. The time she witnessed the birth of his son. The time that Gitano almost shot him.

Why didn't he tell her himself? She understood why he needed to leave. She wouldn't have tried to convince him otherwise. But didn't he trust her enough to come to him? Hadn't they trusted each other?

/Page Break / Page Break / Page Break / Page Break / Page Break / Page Break /

Alex's heels clicked rapidly against the tile floor as she walked as swiftly as possible into the precinct. The detectives all looked up from their desks as she entered.

"Where is she?" the attorney asked, cutting straight to the point.

Fin gestured towards the interrogation rooms. "She headed down that way about 10 minutes ago."

Alex nodded, turning on her heel in the direction that Fin had pointed. Rollins looked at him curiously, her brow furrowed. "Cabot?"

"She's Olivia's wife."

/Page Break / Page Break / Page Break / Page Break / Page Break / Page Break /

Olivia wasn't sure how long she had been crying by now. She knew it was more than five minutes, but she felt too paralyzed to move. Her entire world was crumbling before her, and it felt as though if she did anything at all, it would send the whole thing tumbling down.

The jiggling of the knob startled her. She stopped crying immediately and straightened up, unable to stand quickly before the door swung open.

Alex.

Silence fell between the two women for several moments as they just looked at one another. Alex watched in what felt like slow motion as Olivia's face began to crumble before the brunette's body was wracked with sobs.

Alex rushed over to Olivia's side, crouching down next to her, face sympathetic and laced with concern. Pulling her wife's body into her arms without protest, she held the detective as she continued to break down. "Shh, I've got you," she soothed, rocking her slightly like she did Mia when the toddler had a nightmare.

Alex felt the wetness of Olivia's tears falling on to her skin. The wracking of her body from sobbing. Heard the raspiness of her voice. The remained like that for several minutes before Olivia finally managed to choke out some words. "Take me home."

/Page Break / Page Break / Page Break / Page Break / Page Break / Page Break /

Given that Mia was still at daycare, the couple arrived home to an empty townhouse. Alex, quite frankly, was unsure of what was going to happen. Olivia had settled down enough to leave the precinct through one of the back stairwells. She was eerily quiet on her way home, gazing out the window of Alex's Lexus the blonde drove them back to the Village, relieved that there was little traffic at that hour. When they got to their place, Olivia immediately took off up the stairs. Unsure of whether she should follow, Alex instead waited a moment. She walked into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water to keep herself occupied. She didn't drink it. She took off her heels and slipped off her suit jacket, throwing them over the side of the couch. She waited until she couldn't wait anymore, and then cautiously ascended the stairs.

She was heading down the hall towards their master bedroom where she assumed Olivia had gone until she noticed another door cracked open. A door the hadn't been opened in several weeks.

Alex squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath before pushing the door open and entering the room. It was her former home office, but many months ago it had become a second nursery. Or at least a nursery in progress. The couple had been preparing the room for their second child's arrival. Olivia had painted the room – once an off-white cream – into a beautiful light olive green. She had spent many hours stenciling a small mural of the outlines of Beatrice Potter characters onto one of the walls. At the time, Olivia had gotten very frustrated with the task, not being one for art. Alex had laughed at her wife's exasperated determinedness, but secretly she found the gesture heartwarmingly adorable. Underneath the mural sat a white antique-looking crib. A small stuffed rabbit had sat inside, but currently was being held by Olivia, who was gazing out the window.

Sensing her wife's presence, Olivia spoke before Alex could approach her – so quietly that the blonde almost couldn't make out what she was saying.

"I can't lose you, Alex."

Alex creased her brow, frowning. She walked towards her wife as the brunette continued to look out the window. "You're not going to lose me, Olivia. I want to fix this…"

Olivia shook her head. "When everything with Hoffman happened. The eclampsia." Olivia shuddered and shook her head to dismiss the memory. Finally, she turned and met Alex's eyes, her warm brown orbs filled with unshed tears. "I thought I was going to lose you," the detective choked out. "Dr. Gil, she -. She wasn't sure if she could save either of you. She said she knew they couldn't save the baby but still, I still feel like I killed him…"

"Liv-" Alex assuaged, taking a step closer.

The detective held up her hand to stop her. "I know logically it's not my fault. That it's what needed to be done. But Alex, I felt like they were asking me to choose between my wife and my son. And I love you both so much – " Before she could continue, Olivia started to cry, and Alex embraced her. Taking comfort in her wife's arms, Olivia eventually continued. "When you told me about the insemination, that's all that kept going through my head. That feeling when I didn't know if either of you were going to make it. That it could happen again. And I- I kept seeing his little face. Hearing his little cry."

Alex frowned. She had never considered the fact that Olivia had spent three minutes with their son while he was still alive. She hadn't because it was too painful to acknowledge that she never got that chance. But now she recognized that the only thing more painful than not getting to meet him was this. Irrationally believing that maybe he had a chance, only to hold your son as he died.

Both women were crying freely now. "I'm so sorry, Olivia. You were right. I've been- I've been so fucking selfish," Alex sobbed, her own bitterness towards herself finally made clear. I didn't think about what you have been going through. I've been so caught up in – I've felt empty since we lost him. Since her wasn't here anymore," Alex said, holding her belly. "I kept thinking I could find something to fill the emptiness without having to acknowledge that he was gone. So I left. I left you and Mia, and I will never forgive myself for that. And when that didn't work, it's so fucked up but I thought that maybe – "

Olivia nodded understandingly. "I wanted to be there for you," she rasped.

"I wanted to be there for you too."

"We can't keep doing this. It's not healthy."

"I know."

"Especially not for Mia." Alex nodded.

"What do we do?"

Olivia rubbed her face. "I think we need to talk to someone. Together but also separately. So we can learn how to get through this."

Alex took a moment to process the information, surprised and thankful that her wife would be open to seeing a therapist. She nodded. "Okay."

The two were silent again for a few moments, no longer touching but still feeling a togetherness that they hadn't in a long while. Olivia swallowed. "The wine… Alex, it scared me." The blonde cautiously reached up and caressed the side of the brunette's cheek with her hand, relieved when Olivia moved into as opposed to away from her touch. The detective looked at her wife directly. "I would never hit you, Alex."

"I know that, baby."

"But even though you know that, I made your body feel like I might. And I hate that that happened."

Alex shook her head. "I shouldn't have said what I did about your mother…"

"No, you were right. What I did – downing a bottle of wine to cope before falling asleep. That's what my mother did. And I don't want to – I can't become that. I will not put you and Mia through that."

Alex kissed Olivia's forehead. "We will figure that out too. We'll work through it with the doctor." She felt Olivia nod tiredly.

"I love you, Olivia."

"I love you too, Alex. And no matter what happens, I always will."


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: A one-shot with Alex being jealous. Takes place during PC (March 2010 according to canon). So Mia is about 8 months old.

Rating: This one is like PG/T

Disclaimer: I do not own SVU. Some dialogue taken from PC.

"Sapphic Fantasies"

"She is out like a light," Alex relayed as she returned to the living room, joining her brunette detective on the couch. Olivia gave her a small smile, lifting her arm so that Alex could cuddle into the crook against her side. Although she was trying to be relaxed, she was a bit nervous about sharing what had happened at work this evening with her wife. As secure as the two were in their relationship, Alex was known to have a bit of a jealous streak. The brunette almost wondered if the tiny mishap was even worth mentioning, but before she could decide, the blonde – ever intuitive – picked up on her tense demeanor.

"You okay?" Alex asked, looking up at Olivia from where she was nestled comfortably. "You've been quiet since you got home."

Olivia nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine, baby," she responded, giving Alex's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "It was just… well, a weird day at work."

Alex scoffed. "Tell me about it. McCoy has been on my back about "appearances" all day. As though because I'm a lesbian I'll somehow be wildly radical about this case. I mean, come on. We aren't all Babs Duffy."

"Thankfully," Olivia mumbled.

Alex snickered. "How did that go by the way? The detail?"

"Oh, um- it went fine," the brunette sputtered, "I mean. You know Babs. Not one to listen to instructions. I practically had to lock up her phone and computer."

The attorney raised an eyebrow, noting the heightened pitch of her voice. "Well, fiery as she is, I'm sure you were well-equipped to handle her, Liv," Alex joked.

"Yeah. You know, mostly."

"Mostly?"

Olivia sighed heavily, straightening up so she and Alex were facing each other. Grabbing one of Alex's hands, she began to explain. "Al, this really isn't a big deal but uh…"

 _One Hour Earlier_

 _"We said no Internet," Olivia chided, shutting Babs Duffy's laptop as she tried to type out yet another announcement for LesBStrong._

 _"Hey, hey! I have a blog to report. There's a rally tomorrow."_

 _"Until we catch this guy, it's cancelled. And no secret tweeting either," the brunette detective sighed, holding out her hand to the curly-haired red head that had been driving her insane for the better half of the evening._

 _"Fine, take it. I'm going crazy in here," Babs snapped, placing the cell phone in Olivia's hand. Like a caged animal, she pulled out the blinds looking outside._

 _"Try to relax away from the window, please," Olivia instructed, wrapping her arm around the shorter woman to pull her out of the line of sight._

 _"That's just it – I never relax, all right?" Babs explained frenetically as she paced around the living area. "I've always got to be doing something – planning or picketing or marching."_

 _"Why don't you take this opportunity to have a moment alone. Try to get your head together?" Olivia offered, following the woman into her kitchen. She had to try to get Babs calmed down enough so she wouldn't be wholly unmanageable for the uni taking over her shift for the rest of the night; however she could feel a headache coming on from the frustration. This woman is more stubborn than Alex, she thought to herself humorously._

 _Babs turned to face her from across the island. "'Cause I don't do alone very well. I don't like sitting here while that prick is out there attacking my sisters."_

 _Olivia could understand that sentiment. Cases that struck close to home were always more difficult. As a bisexual woman, she hated more than ever that some creep was out there trying to "correctively" rape other queer women. Quite frankly, she couldn't wait to get her hands on him, and she just hoped Elliot was having luck in the field. "Babs, don't worry," Olivia comforted, slightly softening her tone. "Nothing pisses off my partner more than somebody targeting women. He's gonna catch this guy."_

 _Babs scoffed but returned a small smile. "Well, he has the hots for you, you know."_

 _Olivia looked at the red-head curiously. "Excuse me?"_

 _"Stabler," Babs replied, as though it was obvious._

 _Olivia chuckled, trying to stifle a boisterous laugh. If the woman only knew how off-base that she was… "No, uh, no that's never gonna happen." Babs looked the detective up and down, lost in some kind of thought that Olivia couldn't decipher. Slightly uncomfortable, however, she looked away and took note of several framed photographs on Bab's wall. Strutting over with her hands in her pockets, she remarked "So you've been on the front line for a long time."_

 _"Marched through tear gas for that rally," Babs added, joining the brunette. "That was a three-day sit-in. That's why this feels so weird for me. I should be out there kicking people's asses. Not in here, hiding, feeling…"_

 _"Scared?"_

 _"Petrified."_

 _Olivia nodded, giving Babs a soft look of comfort. She was glad that the activist seemed to be opening up and wavering in her stubborn resolve. And she did sympathize with her – if someone was out there hurting those she cared about, Olivia knew no one could stop her from getting involved. "I know that it's hard, but you're gonna get through this."_

 _"You promise? 'Cause I don't do this everyday. Not like you do."_

 _"I promise, okay?" Olivia patted Bab's shoulder kindly. "Come on, let's get something to eat, okay?" she added with a smile. Before she could react, however, Babs had turned into her body, pressing their frames – and their lips – together in a kiss. Eyes widened in shock, Olivia pulled away as soon as her body caught up with her brain. "Whoa! Now, that's not on the menu," she asserted, taking a few steps back from the brazen red-head._

 _Babs, already emotional, let her lip waver. "Is it me?" she asked, steeling herself._

 _Olivia blinked, trying to process the situation. "No, no it's me." How can I word this so she doesn't lose it… "I'm—I'm—Babs, I'm flattered. I'm just also married." She held up her left hand, ring finger adorned with a simple, thin band appropriate for her hands-on job, for proof._

 _"Oh," Babs chuckled, relieved. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised." Olivia quirked an eyebrow in confusion, and the woman continued, "Come on, I mean… the job and the gun and the attitude. You're like Ellen, Joan Crawford, and Calamity Jane all rolled into one." Olivia chuckled. "If you can balance a checkbook, I'll throw in Suze Orman. Look, believe me, whoever snatched you up is a lucky woman. I'll have to congratulate her if I ever meet her."_

 _Olivia chuckled. "Well, you've met her." Babs looked at her perplexed. "Uh- I'm married to ADA Cabot."_

 _Babs' eyes widened into blue saucers. "You mean that blonde bombshell with legs that go on for miles who would put Heidi Klum to shame?" Olivia choked. While all of those things were certainly true about Alex, the devious look on Babs' face gave her cause for concern. "You know, Benson, I know how difficult it can be to subvert the heteropatriarchal paradigm. And monogamy is a huge part of that. Have you and Alex ever thought of… opening the party a bit," she asked flirtatiously, reaching for Olivia's hands. The brunette, deeply uncomfortable, pulled away yet again. "The heart wants what the heart wants."_

 _Before Olivia could figure out a response, there was a knock at the door. "Benson, it's Delgado!" Saved by the bell._

 _"That's my shift change. Um—Babs, you hang in there okay? I'm gonna- I'm gonna check in on you tomorrow," she explained, backing away slowly from the other woman as though she was a bear. Thankfully Babs, while disappointed, nodded. "Goodnight." Grabbing her peacoat, she hurried to the door._

 _"How's it going, Olivia?" the attractive younger police officer asked her._

 _"If I were you, I'd stay outside."_

As Olivia finished her story, she examined Alex, who was sitting across from her stiffly, face unreadable. "Uh- yeah so, that's it" Olivia added to the silence, prodding the blonde to say something. When she didn't for several moments, the detective only grew antsier.

Finally, Alex spoke. "She kissed you." Olivia nodded cautiously. "Babs Duffy kissed you." Before Olivia could reply, Alex shot off the couch and began pacing back and forth, assuming her predatory courtroom stance. "That woman has some nerve…"

"Al – she was in an emotional place. She didn't realize that we were married."

Alex glowered. "Maybe not at first. But when she did, she still propositioned you! And me for that matter! Like some Sapphic fantasy. I- she was probably imagining the whole scene in her head. You and I on our knees in front of her— "

"Alex!"

"You are the lead detective on this case, and I am the ADA. She was wholly out-of-line, Olivia," Alex fumed.

Olivia sighed, standing and walking over to the blonde, gently placing her hands on her shoulders to still her. "It was inappropriate. But Alex, it's just Babs. She's harmless, albeit a bit bold. I was very clear in turning her down. There's nothing to be worried about."

The blonde attorney stiffened under Olivia's palms and looked as though she was about rant before she instead exhaled heavily. "I know, I just don't like it," she grumbled.

Olivia held back a chuckle at her wife's almost childish perturb. "I don't like it either, baby."

"I don't like the idea of anyone but me kissing you," she pouted with full pink lips.

"I don't like anyone but you kissing me," Olivia replied, slipping her hands to her wife's waist.

Alex quirked an eyebrow. "Have there been others?"

Olivia chuckled. "Other highly-motivated, stubborn women kissing me? No. Unless you want to count yourself, counselor," she added with a smirk.

"Hey," Alex glowered playfully, pouting once again. "I better be the only hard-ass kissing you from here on out."

"I am more than okay with that arrangement, counselor," Olivia smiled, finally leaning in and languidly kissing the blonde. After a few moments, Alex grimaced, pulling away.

"I feel like I'm kissing Babs Duffy by kissing you now," she teased.

Olivia let out a loud laugh. "Don't worry, Al. Listerine and chewing gum." Smiling, she pulled the more-than-willing blonde closer and into a deeper kiss. Things were heating up between the two women when Olivia's phone vibrated on her hip. Sighing, she pulled away and answered, Alex's fingers still ghosting across her stomach. "Benson." Alex watched as Olivia's eyebrows raised. Sighing she resigned herself to the fact that she'd have to wait until she had her wife all to herself. "Got it. I'll be right there." Hanging up, the detective gave Alex an apologetic look. "Sorry babe…"

"Duty calls," Alex said with a small smile, pecking Olivia's lips once more.

"They got the guy. Tried to climb up Bab's fire escape with a tire iron."

"At least she seems to have a thick head…" Alex quipped.

"Alex –" Olivia warned, although clearly amused.

"Well, Calamity Jane, you go rescue the damsel in distress. I think I'll go take a bath, have some wine, wait for you to get home?" she pondered seductively.

Olivia felt a tug in her lower body. "I'll be quick."

Turning on her heels, she was just about at the door when she heard Alex's voice once more. "Hey Liv?" The brunette looked at her expectantly. "Did Babs really say I put Heidi Klum to shame," she asked mischievously.

Olivia chuckled, rolling her eyes, before slipping out the door, quite eager to return home and show her wife how much she appreciated everything above, below, and between those miles and miles of long, lithe legs.

A/N: Keep sending requests my way! I especially like doing episode fics so let me know some episodes!


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own SVU. Some dialogue taken from "Betrayal's Climax"

A/N: Thank you so much to those who have reviewed this story so far! I really, really appreciate the time each of you take to give me your thoughts. Shoutout to trace619, Chely99, phlyamchewlu, carmdian, Akalittlered2, and guests!

Setting: October 2015 (Season 17)

Kids ages: Mia (6), Sadie (3), Noah (1)

"Our Protector"

"Where Mommy?"

"Shh," Alex hushed Sadie gently, "Mommy is with the other officers. You'll see her soon, but we have to be quiet and polite." She smiled when the three-year-old's blue eyes widened before the little girl pressed her lips together noticeably, signaling she was following instructions. Alex then looked over at her older daughter, who was seated to her left. She was dressed in a navy blue dress – one she had been excited to pick out with her Mama just for this occasion. Her ankles were crossed, swinging back and forth in front of her, but she was paying rapt attention to the ceremony. Finally, Alex checked on their youngest child, little Noah, who was still fast asleep cuddled on her lap, dressed in a tiny argyle sweater and khakis, thumb in his mouth.

Alex beamed with pride for their little family. And currently, she couldn't have been any more proud of her wife as she watched the NYPD Lieutenants Ceremony.

"…as a lieutenant in the New York City Police Department" the police chief was reciting in his thick regional accent.

The newly promoted officers repeated the end of the pledge, white-gloved hands raised "…as a sergeant in the New York City Police Department."

"To the best of my abilities, so help me, God."

"To the best of my abilities, so help me, God."

"Congratulations," the chief relayed before the crowd erupted in applause. Sadie looked up at Alex excitedly, tugging on the sleeve of her sweater dress.

"Mommy won?"

Alex chuckled at her daughter's interpretation of Olivia's promotion. "Mommy is official a lieutenant now because she does such a good job at work protecting everyone," the blonde woman explained.

Sadie grinned. "Mommy keeps us safe," the little girl lisped.

Alex smiled broadly, placing a kiss on the crown of the little brunette's head. "That's right, sweetheart."

As the clapping began to settle, the newly-minted lieutenants sat down to prepare to receive their certificates. As she did so, Olivia peeked over her shoulder to catch Alex's eye across the audience, her eyes gleaming and glistening. Joyful tears threatening to spill, Alex mouthed back the words "I love you" before her wife had to turn her attention back to the stage.

"When does Mommy get her certificate," Mia whispered to her Mama.

"Right now, baby," Alex replied, bouncing the now awake Noah softly on her lap.

As the chief began to call out names, the rest of the Cabot-Bensons waited eagerly. Finally, it was their favorite officer's turn. "Lieutenant Olivia Benson," the chief called out. Alex watched as Olivia ascended the stage, looking stunning in her uniform. Her wife proudly saluted the chief before receiving the framed certificate and shaking his hand, turning for the obligatory photograph.

"Yay Mommy!" Sadie cheered out loudly, earning a chuckle from her mothers and the audience alike. The rest of the ceremony dragged slightly, the excitement of awaiting Olivia's moment having passed. The kids were becoming squirmy, and Alex was relieved when the police chief gave his last congratulations and bid everyone a good day. Cameras still flashing, the audience began to separate into their respective groupings, waiting to congratulate the officers, the room echoing with everyone's chatter. Alex looked over to where the other 1-6 detectives had been sitting, guiding Mia and Sadie over towards Fin.

The male detective greeted them with a smile. "Hi ladies. Hey, Little Man," he said, playfully shaking Noah's foot.

"Where are Rollins and Carisi?" Alex asked. "Did they have less patience than these guys for the ceremony," she added with a sly grin.

Fin chuckled. "Nah, got called out on a case. But they send their congrats."

"Mommy, can we say hi to Isabella?" Mia interjected, pointing to where her friend – the daughter of another new NYPD lieutenant – was standing nearby with her family.

"Yes, you may," Alex replied, "But Mia remember what your Mommy and I have said about interrupting."

"Sorry, Mama, I forgot."

Alex gave her a soft smile, knowing that the six-year-old was worn out after sitting quietly for such a long time. "It's okay. Just make sure to hold Sadie's hand." She watched as the little girls headed over to their friends, making sure to make eye contact with Isabella's mother to assure they got across the room. Of course, a room with this much police presence was probably the most secure in all of Manhattan, but with what she and Olivia saw on a daily basis, it never hurt to be too careful. With Mia and Sadie safely with their friend, Alex turned back towards Nick, who was smiling at her.

"You and Liv did a good job. They're great kids."

Alex smiled softly. "How is Ken?"

"He's alright. He and Alejandro are thinkin' about starting their own family…"

Alex quirked an eyebrow. "Really? So Grandpa Fin, huh?"

"Bite your tongue, counselor," Fin teased with a smirk. "Kids or not, ain't no one callin' me, grandpa until I'm old and wrinkly."

"Might want to check out some botox then," a husky voice quipped. Alex and Fin turned to see Olivia approaching them.

Fin rolled his eyes. "Guess I can't clap back anymore now that you're the Lieutenant," Fin jibbed, before pulling the woman into a congratulatory hug, "Congrats, Liv."

Olivia smiled, "Thanks Fin." She turned towards Alex and grinned widely. "Hi baby boy," she said, kissing Noah on the head. She looked up at Alex and gave her a peck. "Kids are okay?"

"Yup, our little man here slept almost the whole time until the clapping woke him up so he could see his Mommy. And the girls, well, you heard Sadie," she said with a smirk.

"She has a presence that will not be denied," Olivia laughed.

"I'm gonna dip out," Fin said, placing a hand on both women's shoulders. "Rollins and Carisi send their congrats, Liv. They got called out on a case…"

Olivia furrowed her brow, entering business mode. "What happened…"

Fin held up a hand. "From the looks of it, an assault that was stopped before it could be started. We got it. You enjoy the rest of your day, Lieutenant."

"Thanks, Fin," she replied to his retreating form. She turned back to Alex, giving her wife a curious look as she watched the blonde eye her up and down. "What?"

Alex smirked. "I just love you in your uniform." She took a step closer and husked into Olivia's ear. "And out of it."

Olivia raised an eyebrow and smiled. "Is that so?"

Alex nodded, biting her lip. "Maybe the uniform can come back out later tonight," she mused. "And your handcuffs."

"I did pledge to serve," Olivia smiled, placing her hands on Alex's hips and giving her wife another kiss.

Alex ran her fingers over the breast of Olivia's coat, gently caressing the various medals that adorned it. American Flag Breast Bar. World Trade Center Breast Bar. NYPD Combat Cross. NYPD Medal for Valor. Two NYPD Meritorious Police Duty awards… The brunette watched as her wife looked at these markers with love and pride, sentiments that became only more pronounced when she looked up and into Olivia's chocolate brown eyes.

"I am so incredibly proud of you."

Olivia grabbed the hand that was still resting against her chest. "I couldn't have done any of this without you.

"Nonsense," the blonde replied, making the older woman smile shyly.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Lieutenant."

As she leaned over to kiss the brunette, they were interrupted by two high pitched cries of excitement. "Mama!"

Olivia chuckled, pulling away from her wife and looking down at their daughters, who had rejoined them. "Hey, baby girls!" she greeted, pulling them into a hug.

"I'm notta baby," Sadie pouted. "Noah is de baby."

"My apologies, Miss Sadie," Olivia joked. "How are my big girls?"

"We watched the whole ceremony, Mommy!" Mia said excitedly. "Congratulations!"

"Thank you, Mia" Olivia said with a grin, kissing the little blonde's head.

"What do you say that we go out and get some celebratory dinner?" Alex suggested, earning nods from the three hungry ladies in front of her. She looked at Olivia. "Where does the new lieutenant want to go?"

Before the woman could reply, however, the younger brunette piped up. "Pizza!"

"Sadie, it's your Mommy's big day. Let's let her decide."

Olivia shrugged with a chuckle. "I mean, what is more New York than pizza." And with a smile, the lieutenant scooped the three-year old into her arms and grabbed Mia's hand, proudly guiding her family out into the streets of Manhattan.

A/N: Please review and send suggestions for other oneshots :)


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU

A/N: Two updates in one day – woo! As per request, a continuation of the last chapter about Olivia's promises for "later that night" ;)

Rating: M (CW: super light kink – cop/arrestee role play). Feeling super super shy about this one because it's like pure smut *blushes and hides*

"Handcuffs and Briefs"

Stripped down to her bra and tights, Alex was bending over to pull a pajama shirt out of the drawer when she felt a hand on her left hip and another gently twisting her right arm behind her back. She smiled when she heard a familiar voice husk, "Ms. Cabot-Benson, I have a warrant for your arrest." Alex shivered when she felt the metal of handcuffs clamp over her wrist. "Anything you say can and will be _held_ against you" her brunette wife added with a smirk, pressing against her.

When Alex began to turn, Olivia halted her. "Hands up against the wall," she commanded, guiding the younger woman around the dresser. "Are you carrying any weapons, Ms. Cabot? She moved to the blonde's side now, allowing Alex to see navy uniform in her periphery.

Alex shook her head, going along with the role play. "No, officer."

"That's Lieutenant to you," Olivia corrected with a playful eye. "I don't know, Ms. Cabot. You lawyers are good with your tongue. I'll going to have to make sure you aren't lying to me. Spread your legs." Alex complied, and Olivia began to frisk her, running her hands gently along Alex's curves. "My, my counselor. I would love to take a look over your briefs…"

Alex guffawed, turning around to face the brunette. "My briefs? Liv, did you look up legal pick up lines on the Internet or something?"

Olivia smirked and shrugged. "Maybe."

Alex shook her head in amusement. "You're ridiculous." She took a moment from her new vantage point, however, to take a look at the lieutenant's ensemble. The tailored pleats that only slightly flattened her wife's curves. The air of authority it gave her. "Damn, I know I said this earlier, but this really looks great on you," the blonde complimented, running her finger along the lapel.

"Well, how about I keep this on and we put those handcuffs to use," Olivia asked seductively. "We can do some under-cover work."

Alex rolled her eyes. "Yes to the cuffs, but no more pick up lines if you actually want me to get turned on," she quipped.

Olivia quirked an eyebrow, placing her hands on Alex's hips and guiding the younger woman back towards the bed. "I'm pretty sure I could make you turned on no matter what, counselor," she breathed, moving in to place some open mouthed kissed on Alex's neck.

"Confident now, are we?" Alex teased. "How about you provide me with some evidence of that, lieutenant."

Olivia grinned before returning to her dominant play. "Get on the bed." Alex complied, shuffling until she up against the headboard. Olivia leaned over her, pressing her curves against the blonde's frame as she wrapped the chain of the handcuffs around one of the headboard's beams before securing the other side over Alex's free wrist, effectively immobilizing her arms. "That feel okay," she checked, examining the blonde's wrists to make sure no circulation was being cut off.

Alex nodded with a smile. "It'll feel more okay if you keep touching me."

"Oh I will, but first…" she rolled off of the blonde and out of bed, "I figured I'd tease you a little longer. Shrugging off her blazer, she explained, "I know that you like me in uniform, but I'm pretty sure you prefer me out of it."

Alex gulped, blue eyes darkening. While she and Olivia of course both were comfortable exploring with each other sexually, when it can to exhibitionism, Olivia was always a bit more reserved, especially as she got older and more insecure about her body. The fact that she was now about to strip tease for the blonde had Alex's panties in an uncomfortable puddle under her tights.

Maintaining eye contact with the blonde, Olivia allowed the coat to fall to the ground, moving her fingers to unbutton her white button-down, slowly ever so slowly revealing more and more of the olive skin underneath. She smirked as she watched Alex begin to squirm, turning away as she pulled off the shirt so that Alex could see the ripples of her still muscular back.

"Baby," she heard Alex pant, "Turn. Please."

Following command, Olivia turned around, leaning over slightly so that her cleavage began to pool out of her white, lace bra. She then unfastened her pants, slipping them down to reveal her tight ass covered in lace briefs. Strutting over towards the bed and the attentive attorney who occupied it, Olivia snickered as she crawled up onto the mattress. "Might want to close your mouth, Lex. You're starting to drool," she teased.

"Shut up." She retained, however, no resolve. "Liv, your bra."

"Take it off? Okay, baby," Olivia said, giving her wife a flirtatious look as she unfastened the front hook, her ample breasts now spilling out in front of her. Dropping the garment to the side, she leaned over so that her chest as in line with Alex's face, gasping slightly as she felt her wife's tongue twirl around one of the hardened nipples. "Nuh uh," Olivia chided, pulling her body away. She pressed a languid kiss to the blonde's mouth. "Not yet."

"I want to touch you," Alex whined.

"You will, baby," the lieutenant assured. "In a little while." First, however, she pressed her panty-covered core against Alex's. "God baby, I can feel how wet you are even through all the fabric."

"That's because you're killing me."

Olivia chuckled, reaching down and grabbing the waists of both Alex's tights and thong, yanking them down over her long, pale legs to reveal as small patch of glistening dark blonde hair. "Jesus," she breathed. She kissed from Alex's knee down to her inner thigh, basking in the warmth radiating off of her wife's skin. Moving upwards, she met her wife's eyes. "It never stops amazing me how beautiful you are, Al."

Alex's eyes were now desperate with need, jaw slack as she looked down at her wife. "Liv, please," she husked.

"Please what, Alexandra?"

"Fuck me."

Olivia smiled, kissing her wife's belly button before dragging her tongue downwards until she reached her blonde curls. She placed a firm kiss against Alex's pubic bone just above her clit, earning a gasp. "You have the right to remain silent… although I doubt you will be." Before Alex could respond to her pun, she pressed her tongue through the blonde's folds, causing her to cry out, overwhelmed by the sensation after all of the lieutenant's teasing. Olivia continued to please her wife with her mouth, eventually wrapping the woman's legs over her shoulders to grant her tongue better access as she dipped the appendage in and out.

"Oh my god," Alex moaned. "Liv – fuck. Your fingers. Please."

Olivia lifted her head, slipping two fingers into her wife's core. Noting just how turned on Alex was, she quickly added a third.

"Fuck, baby. Want you – to fill me," Alex requested with a groan.

Olivia quirked an eyebrow. In all of their years together, she had never penetrated the blonde with any more that three fingers using her hand. "You want more?" she asked cautiously, careful to understand exactly what her wife was asking for.

"Please."

In spite of the fact that Alex was practically soaking, Olivia pulled out for a moment to reach into their bedside table, removing a bottle of lube. Before returning to her spot between Alex's legs, she gave her wife a comforting kiss. "If it hurts or if you want to stop, just tell me?" Alex nodded, eyes hazy with pleasure, and gave her wife a reassuring smile that she trusted her to do this.

Settling back, Olivia coated her right hand generously with lubricant, slipping two fingers back into Alex as she rolled her thumb over the blonde's clit. "Yessssss," Alex moaned. As the blonde continued to become more and more aroused, Olivia added the third finger again. And then subsequently, a fourth. Finally, she curled her hand slightly so that it bent vertically along the palm.

"You ready, sweetheart?" she asked lovingly, prepared to fill her wife entirely.

"Oh god, yes."

Slowly, Olivia slid her hand into the blonde, feeling a fresh flood of wetness in her own panties from the sensation. Inside Alex was warm and velvety, the smooth muscles clamping slightly around Olivia's fist as she began to massage the blonde's G-spot.

"Yes, baby, yes!"

Olivia thanked the universe silently that the kids were heavy sleepers. Curling her fingers inside the blonde, she felt Alex getting closer and closer to her release. Becoming uncomfortably aroused herself at the sight, she slipped her left hand under her underwear and rubbed against her hard clit.

"Oh my god. Oh my god. Liv. I'm going to cum. Liv –" Alex sputtered as she finally reached her peak, muscles clamping tightly around the brunette's wrists, warm fluid squirting out on to Olivia's bare thighs and pushing the lieutenant over the edge as well. Both women gasped as they rode out their climaxes, panting for air as they finally relaxed.

When Olivia's mind finally clear, she looked down at Alex, who appeared overwhelmed but content. "Lex, I'm gonna pull out, baby," she said, waiting until Alex gave her an exhausted nod. Slowly and carefully, she removed her hand from the blonde, who hissed at the sudden emptiness. Cautiously, she crawled up next to her wife's body, lying on her side next to her. Placing a gentle kiss on Alex's sweaty forehead, she asked, "Are you okay, sweetheart?"

Alex smiled and gave a soft nod. "I am more than okay. That was. Wow."

"It was definitely wow," the lieutenant agreed. She grabbed her handcuff key and freed the blonde, who tried to shrug out some of the stiffness. The women were quiet for a few moments.

"Are you… okay with all of that," Alex asked shyly.

Olivia grinned, kissing the blonde's flushed nose. "I am really, really okay with all of that."

"Good," Alex smiled, moving closer. "Because I'd like a repeat performance from time to time." She grabbed Olivia's right hand, still covered with wetness, and brought it to her mouth, licking a couple of the fingers clean. Olivia groaned, feeling herself become aroused again in spite of her fatigue.

"I think I need a cold shower."

Alex laughed. "No second round, Lieutenant?"

"We're getting old, counselor."

"Speak for yourself," Alex kidded. "But okay, let's go clean up. Although I can't promised that I'll keep my hands entirely to myself."

Olivia smirked. "I am more than okay with that."

A/N: Hope I didn't burn y'all's eyes out!


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Thank you for all of the reviews so far, especially for last chapter because I was very nervous about writing it! Shoutouts especially to phlyamchewlu, trace619, chely99, and Akalittlered2 for their consistent support :)

Some pending requests:

\- Jealous Liv

\- A story with one or both women being married, having an affair, and ending up together (I might have to do an AU chapter for this one, because I'm not sure if it would fit in with Always You, but will definitely try!)

\- More on Alex's pregnancy with Sadie

Definitely like having a prompt, so keep them coming!

Also, to answer some of your questions, Sadie's donor is the same as Mia's (and Max's). Let's assume that after Mia, Alex and Olivia decided to keep some of the semen sample stored for potential future pregnancies (which is fairly common practice to my understanding). As you'll remember, this donor physically resembled Olivia, which is how Mia got her brown eyes and Sadie got her brown hair. As with canon, Noah is still adopted.

Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU.

Setting: September 2011, Mia is 2, Alex is 5 months pregnant with Sadie

"In Sickness and In Health"

Olivia sighed as Nick dropped another stack of incomplete DD5s onto her desk. "Looks like we're gonna be here for a while," he lamented. The 1-6 had been absurdly crazy over the past couple of weeks, especially in the wake of the new college school year. Olivia was thankful that Rollins and her new partner, Amaro, seemed to be finding their footing, needing less and less guidance.

Still, more cases not only meant more fieldwork but also more paperwork. They were seriously backlogged. Olivia resigned herself to the fact that Nick was probably right – they had a long night ahead of them. The brunette was halfway through a case file when her cell phone rang, Alex's name and a picture of her flashing across the iPhone screen. The blonde attorney had left work early that day, having felt entirely exhausted. Normally a workaholic to the extreme, Alex had mellowed during this pregnancy. They hadn't discussed it, but Olivia knew that after losing Max, her wife was more concerned this time with having a healthy pregnancy than she was with her duties as an ADA. The detective had asked if she wanted her to spend the rest of the day with her, but Alex had assured that she was likely just drained from a busy week and would see Olivia later tonight. Thus, Olivia anticipated that Alex was calling to see if she would be home for dinner, and the brunette frowned knowing that she would have to tell the blonde that it would be a late night.

Grabbing her phone, she swiped to accept the call. "Hey, Lex."

"Hi Liv," Alex greeted weakly. Olivia's face fell. Something about her wife's voice didn't sound right. "Baby, could you come home please?"

Olivia's eyes widened, and she felt a jolt of adrenaline run through her. "Alex, is everything okay?"

The brunette heard the woman stifle a small sob. "Um – I really don't feel well. I have a headache. I've been – I've been throwing up –"

The detective squeezed her eyes shut as Alex relayed her symptoms – many of them the same as when she had eclampsia. "I'm on my way right now, baby," the brunette assured, grabbing her keys. She looked at Nick who, before she could ask, shooed her away.

"I'll tell the Captain," her partner replied. "Go to Alex."

"Thank you," Olivia mouthed before heading out of the precinct. "Sweetheart, are you in any pain? In your belly?"

"No," Alex said, starting to cry. "Liv, what if…"

"It's going to be okay, sweetheart. I'm getting in my car and will be home with you. Do you want to call 911?"

"No, not yet. I have Mia from daycare. Just please come home."

Olivia sped out of One Police Plaza to the couple's home in record time. Alex hadn't called her during the trip, which she hoped was a good sign. Still, she sprinted up the stairs to their front door. Alex and Mia were in the living room, the toddler playing with some wooden blocks on the ground. The older blonde was curled up on the couch under a throw blanket. Hearing the door, Mia looked up from her toys. "Mama sick," she told Olivia.

"I know, baby," Olivia replied softly, ruffling the little girl's wispy blonde hair before hurrying over to the couch. "Don't worry. Mama is going to be okay," she reassured, her message just as much for Alex as Mia. "Hi sweetheart," Olivia said, kneeling next to Alex. "How are you feeling?"

"My head still hurts," Alex said weakly. "I'm nauseous but I haven't thrown up again."

"Okay, that's good baby." She leaned over and pressed her lips to Alex's forehead, frowning as she felt its clamminess. "You feel like you have a bit of a fever, sweetheart." Noting the fear in Alex's eyes, she turned her attention to the toddler. "Hey Mia, can you go get Mama one of your stuffed animals to help her feel better?"

"Yeah Mommy!" Mia said happily. The gravity of the situation went over the toddler's head, and she was just glad that she could help her ailing mother. Olivia waited for the little girl to toddle down the hallway to one of her toy baskets before discussing what they should do next with Alex.

"I'm going to call Cragen. See if he can come watch her. And then I think we should take you to the hospital, sweetheart." Alex nodded solemnly before starting to cry. "I know, baby," Olivia said, pulling her wife into her arms. "But let's not get ahead of ourselves. It could be something else…"

"Mama don't be sad," a little voice interrupted. "You be better." Mia walked over to the couple and handed Alex a small knit turtle.

Alex took a deep breath, forcing a small smile at her daughter. "Thank you, sweet girl," she said, hugging the little toy against her.

"Yo welcowme, Mama."

"Mia, we're gonna have Grandpa Cragen come over and play with you while Mommy takes Mama to the doctor, okay?"

"Grwanpa Cwagen!" the toddler nodded excitedly. "Doctowr make you bettewr Mama."

Alex nodded, giving the little girl a kiss. Olivia could sense from her silence just how afraid the normally verbose attorney was. Luckily, Cragen made it to the townhouse quickly when Olivia called him and explained the situation. Olivia then took Alex to the nearest hospital, having called their OB/GYN on the way. They had to pull over once for Alex to dry-heave into a plastic bag, and the detective sped along quickly afterwards, her wife gripping their daughter's stuffed toy for comfort. By the time they were wheeling Alex into the emergency room, Dr. Gil was ready to meet them there.

"Hi ladies," she greeted sympathetically. "I know both of you are very afraid right now, but let's take a look at you, Alex. This could be something else entirely." Once the three settled into an exam room, Dr. Gil took all of Alex's vitals herself as she and the brunette waited tensely, Olivia only letting go of Alex's hand when absolutely necessary. When Dr. Gil removed the blood pressure cuff, she smiled at the couple. "90/60. Your blood pressure is actually a little bit low, which makes sense if you're a bit dehydrated. But it's perfectly normal. We'll run some bloodwork and a urine sample, but it looks like you just have a bit of a stomach bug."

Alex let out a small sob of relief, looking up at Olivia who also had tears running down her cheeks. After taking the samples, Dr. Gil gave the couple one last reassuring smile before leaving the room – she had grown quite fond of the pair over the past couple of years. When the doctor left, Olivia squatted down so that she was face-level with her recumbent wife. Placing her hands on both sides of the blonde's face, she leaned over and gave her an emotion-filled kiss. "It's going to be okay, Al. I can feel it." Looking down, she placed her hand on Alex's small bump. "It's going to be okay, little one."

About ten minutes later, Dr. Gil returned with Alex's clean bill of health. "Test results are all normal except for your WBC being up, which is a normal sign that your body is fighting off a virus or other infection. I want to take a look at your baby, just to be sure they are okay, but you should be on your way home right after that." Both Alex and Olivia's eyes were glistening when small image of their child came up on the screen. This wasn't their first ultrasound during this pregnancy – but it certainly was the most meaningful. "Strong heart beat. No pain from palpitation. No visual abnormalities," Dr. Gil checked off. "You have stomach bug, Alex. Uncomfortable but perfectly harmless to both of you." Olivia exhaled heavily, finally relaxing with the knowledge that Alex and the baby were both going to be okay. That is was still a new beginning for them.

"I'm going to give you some rehydration pills because you're having trouble keeping fluids down. To air on the side of caution, don't take any ibuprofen or over-the-counter meds for the headache. Some peppermint tea is good for the pain and the nausea if you can stomach it. Your fever is about 99.8. If it gets above 101 or lasts more than 36 hours, call me immediately, but I think that you'll be feeling better within the next day or so. Blame the daycare. Those places are full of germs," the woman smiled.

Thanking the doctor, the couple returned home to find Cragen and Mia fast asleep on the couch, the older man's arm wrapped around the little girl as the sound of _Tangled_ played in the background. Olivia settled Alex into bed before returning downstairs. She gently stirred Cragen to inform him that Alex was okay, much to the older man's relief. The captain scooped Mia up and brought the sleeping girl to her bed, Olivia in tow.

"You're welcome to stay, Captain," Olivia offered as they returned to the living room. "We don't have a guest room anymore, obviously, but the couch is comfortable."

Cragen shook his head and placed a hand on Olivia's shoulder. "It's not too late out. You take off tomorrow to care for Alex. The new blood can hold down the fort. Give her my love."

Olivia nodded, giving the man a hug before he left. Heading into the kitchen, she grabbed some Pediasure from the refrigerator as well as the rehydration pills, some saltines, and a large bowl. Returning upstairs to the master bedroom, she found Alex curled on her side, groaning. "Hi sweetheart," Olivia said softly, lowering the door behind her. She walked across the room and took a seat at the edge on the bed next to the blonde. Gently caressing the side of Alex's face, she noted that the attorney didn't feel any warmer than she had at the hospital. "Cragen left. He sends his love." The attorney gave a small nod. "You feeling nauseous, sweetheart?"

"Yeah," Alex choked out. "Liv, I – Sick"

As her wife shot up, blue eyes wide, Olivia grabbed the bowl that she had brought, holding it as Alex emptied the small bit of remaining contents to her stomach. "That's it, baby. It'll be over soon," the brunette comforted, pulling the woman's long blonde hair into a ponytail. She then rubbed some soothing circles on her back. "You done? Okay, baby."

"Ugh," Alex groaned. "Can you help me to the bathroom? I want to brush my teeth."

"Of course, babe."

After helping Alex get cleaned up, the couple returned to the bedroom. Olivia helped Alex under the covers, pressing a kiss to her belly before she tucked her in. "You both are going to be okay," she said softly. Alex smiled softly, grabbing one's of her wife's olive-skinned hands and giving it a squeeze. No other words were needed.

Olivia returned the smile and leaned over, placing a kiss on Alex's forehead. "I'm going to leave something to drink for you here while I go clean that up," she said, gesturing towards the dirty bowl. "If you need me, just yell."

Alex nodded, settling back against the pillows. "Thank you. I think I'm going to try to sleep."

"That sounds good, baby." The detective stood and grabbed the bowl, heading for the door. Just as she was about to exit, she heard Alex's voice.

"I love you, Olivia."

The brunette smiled. "I love you too. The both of you."


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU

 _Timeline_ : November 2016; Olivia (48), Alex (42), Mia (7), Sadie (4), Noah (2)

A/N: A delayed Thanksgiving story. Right now, finals are in full swing and I'm a grad student, but after they're over I'll have much more time to write!

Turkey, Tantrums, and Tears

 _Slosh!_

Grimacing at the sound, Alex turned around already anticipating the site in front of her: Noah, giggling in his high chair slapping his chubby palms into a spilled bowl of applesauce. "Oh no, little man!" the blonde sighed, hurrying over to scoop away from making a further mess. As she tried to settle the squirming toddler, the oven timer went off. "Liv? Can you check the turkey for me?"

"I can help, Mama!" Sadie called out, tight-covered feet padding into the kitchen towards the oven.

"No, no, no Sadie," Alex said, stopping the girl with her free hand. "Remember, the oven is hot. Can you use that towel to wipe up some of the applesauce off the floor?" Sadie nodded, light brown curls bouncing.

Meanwhile, Olivia entered the kitchen drying her damp hair with a towel, fresh from the shower. Noting their son's appearance, the lieutenant chuckled. "Noah, what did you do, buddy?" she asked playfully, kissing his thick head of hair. "You get him cleaned up, Babe. That one too," she grinned, nodding towards Sadie, who was now also covered in applesauce from attempting to clean up the mess. "I'll take care of the cooking."

"Thanks, Liv," the attorney smiled, giving her wife a peck. "Remember the years of holidays before kids? So calm. So easy…"

"But so much less entertaining."

"Absolutely."

"Mommy, can I help finish the cookies?" the couple's oldest daughter interrupted, already dressed in her autumny-colored plaid jumper.

"Yes, sure Mia. Just make sure you wash your hands first," Olivia replied as she checked on the turkey while Alex led the rest of the brood to the bathroom.

"I did!" the little blonde said cheerfully, hopping on to the stool next to the kitchen island. "So I just roll them into balls?"

Olivia smiled. "Yep, just roll them until they're about the size of golf balls like this," the brunette explained, demonstrating with a chunk of chocolate chip cookie dough. "Do you need help, ladybug, or can I get started on the potatoes?"

"I can do it, Mommy," Mia replied, already fiercely focused on the task at hand. Olivia turned her own attention back to the feast-in-progress in front of her. The family was expecting a host of folks within the next couple of hours: Rollins and her daughter, Jessie, Fin – whose son was with his fiancé's family for the holiday – Cragen, and Munch. That said, Alex had gone above and beyond with cooking. A turkey with cranberry stuffing and a green bean casserole were in the oven. A large salad with walnuts and other garnishes were in the fridge. Cranberry sauce simmered on the stove-top. A basket of crescent rolls sat on the island alongside some baked mac n' cheese. Now all that was left to make were mashed potatoes and sweet potatoes as well as cookies and a pumpkin pie. As far as the lieutenant was concerned, they would be eating leftovers for weeks.

After mashing and setting the potatoes on the oven, Olivia turned around to check on Mia, who had been oddly quiet as she prepared the cookies for baking. The brunette frowned in confusion when she noticed that the girl had only made four dough balls in the past fifteen minutes. "Everything okay, Mia?" she asked.

The blonde's blue eyes widened, startled. "Uh yeah, Mommy. I can do it."

"Okay baby," the lieutenant responded warily, pretending to turn her attention back to the stove. Instead, she watched her daughter. Mia's brow was furrowed as she toyed with the dough in front of her, holding two of the lumps next to each other in comparison. The brunette noted the frustration that seemed to be building in her daughter as she rolled and re-rolled the dough, trying to make matching spheres. When a tear rolled down one of the girl's cheeks, Olivia knew that she had to intervene.

"Mia, what's wrong ladybug?" the older woman asked, rubbing the child's back.

Mia's lower lip wavered. "I just – I can't get them to be right," the little blonde managed, trying to hold back a sob.

"What do you mean, baby? They look just fine."

"No!" Mia responded, shaking her head roughly, "They're not. They have to match, and I can't get them to be the same."

"Mia," Olivia said softly, lifting her daughter's chin to face her. "The cookies don't have to be the same. They'll still be yummy no matter hwat they look like."

Tears filled the little girl's wide blue eyes, and she began to cry, burying her face into her mother's shoulder. "I just want them to be perfect." Olivia frowned as she rubbed her hand in circles on her daughter's back to comfort her. As Mia had gotten older, she had become a bit of a perfectionist. Her room was always neat and tidy, and her appearance just right. At school, her teachers always noted how carefully her assignments were completed. Even when playing outside, Mia practiced things like jumping rope until they met her high standards. At first, Olivia had figured it was harmless. After all, Alex herself was known to be a bit of a perfectionist herself. That said, more and more, Mia seemed to be fixated on getting different tasks just right. Now, the fact that something like making cookies had the little girl in tears worried her immensely.

"Amelia, the cookies will be the best cookies just because you helped make them. Nothing is perfect, baby, and that's okay."

"I guess," Mia frowned, her eyes betraying her anxiety. "Mommy, can you finish the cookies?"

"Are you sure, sweetheart?"

Mia nodded sadly. "I don't want to make them anymore."

"Okay, baby. How about you go relax for a little bit before everyone gets here," she suggested, placing a kiss on the crown of her head. As she watched her oldest daughter wander upstairs, the lieutenant exhaled heavily. She knew that something wasn't right and made note to discuss what had happened with Alex later after everyone had left. Right now, she turned her attention to the messy dough in front of her, hoping that the fun of the afternoon would brighten her daughter's spirits.

~*~Page Break ~*~~*~Page Break ~*~~*~Page Break ~*~~*~Page Break ~*~Page Break ~*

"Mommy! Look Unca Munch is like a turkey," Sadie called out to her brunette mother, jiggling the loose skin of Munch's neck as she sat on his lap. Noting the older man's own amusement, Olivia snorted.

"Better a turkey than a sheep!" Munch, clearly on his third glass of wine, replied. "Sadie, have I told you about Area 51 yet…"

Olivia rolled her eyes as her former colleague began to explain yet another conspiracy theory to the little girl, remembering how a few months back Sadie had relayed stories of UFOs to her and Alex after a night being babysat by her beloved Uncle Munch. Stepping into the living room, she smiled at the site of her family and friends in front of her. Jessie and Noah were playing with blocks on the floor along with Mia and Fin, who were trying to help them build a castle. The lieutenant breathed a sigh of relief when, rather than getting upset, the little blonde laughed when her younger brother knocked down the tower in front of him. Meanwhile, Amanda, Cragen, and Alex sat on the sofas, chatting. Slipping into the space next to Alex, she smiled as she felt the blonde lean into her.

The attorney placed a hand on her wife's thigh, the other holding a glass of red wine. "Amanda has been telling us about how Jessie is getting a head start on the terrible twos," she said, filling Olivia in on their conversation.

The brunette chuckled. "Oh no. We've been lucky Noah hasn't been so bad. Sadie was enough of a handful."

"Everything she says is just, 'no'!" the blonde detective explained. "No to veggies, no to bedtime, no to bath…"

"Any tantruming yet?"

"No, thankfully, but I'm feeling like it's just a matter of time."

"Sadie would completely lose it. Didn't matter where. Once, we were at the bodega grabbing a couple things for dinner… it was a crazy week. During the Scott Russo case. Sadie wanted to go to park, but I explained to her that we were running late to pick up Mia from kindergarten. It was like 0 to 100 and she was on the floor thrashing, knocked boxes off of shelves. I was so embarrassed – I dragged her out of there without getting anything."

Amanda laughed. "Well, something to look forward too. I mean I knew kids liked to get their way but…"

Cragen interrupted. "You three? Winding up having stubborn children. I can't imagine why…" he deadpanned before taking a sip of his coffee. God help him, the former captain had certainly dealt with his own series of "tantrums" – ahem, "work disagreements."

~*~Page Break ~*~~*~Page Break ~*~~*~Page Break ~*~~*~Page Break ~*~Page Break ~*

"They all settled into bed?" Olivia asked as she slipped on a pair of sweatpants.

"Out like lights," Alex replied with a smile. "Can't say I blame them. I'm exhausted."

The brunette snickered. "I wonder if that has something to do with all of that wine you enjoyed," she teased.

"Har har," Alex said, rolling her eyes but clearly amused. Pulling off her sweater dress and tights and tossing them into the hamper, she then jumped back unceremoniously onto the bed. "You're just lucky I'm too tired to come up with a witty retort, Lieutenant. Grab me a t shirt?"

Olivia laughed, shaking her head. Pulling an oversized NYPD t-shirt out of the drawer, she walked over to the blonde. "You won't be too cold in just this?" she asked, holding out the shirt to the blonde, who was unsnapping her bra.

"Nah, that's why I have you. My resident space heater," Alex smirked, handing the lacy black undergarment to her wife to put away.

"Oh how could I forget," Olivia said, depositing the bra back into its respective drawer. "Especially when I wake up with you on top of me, absorbing all my body heat."

Alex quirked a perfectly manicured eyebrow. "I thought you liked waking up with me on top of you," she purred.

"Didn't say otherwise, counselor," the brunette replied with a laugh as she crawled up onto the bed next to her wife. She pressed a kiss against Alex's lips before slipping under the covers next to her. The attorney curled up against her, resting her head on the cushioning of Olivia's ample chest. The two relaxed for several minutes, quite content. Alex felt herself starting to drift off when she heard her wife's voice. "Lex?"

"Yes?"

Alex furrowed her brow when she felt Olivia sigh. "I wasn't sure if I should bring this up tonight, but I think we need to do something about Mia…"

Blinking awake, the blonde tilted her head to look up at her wife, whose deep brown eyes were filled with worry. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I know that she's always been a bit of a perfectionist. And it never seemed like a problem. Like, you're one too and if anything, it's a cute albeit occasionally annoying trait," she explained, trying to lighten the mood. Alex rolled her eyes but nodded, indicating that Olivia should continue. "But lately – I don't know, Al. When she was helping make cookies earlier, she just completely broke down. Started crying because she couldn't get them to be perfect. I'm worried…"

"Liv, it's just cookies…" the blonde replied, sitting up.

"That's just it, Alex. It was such a little thing but to her, it was a huge deal. She couldn't even finish making them, she was so upset. I just… something doesn't feel right."

The younger woman pursed her lips. It wasn't that she hadn't noticed Mia's behavior before. It just hadn't seemed like a big problem… Or at least she didn't want to think it was one. "What do you think we should do?"

Olivia exhaled heavily. "I'm not sure. Maybe talk to her about it? Or…" she paused, hesistating. "I don't know maybe she should talk to someone…"

"Like a therapist?"

"Yeah…"

Alex stiffened. Her own upbringing had made her a bit remiss to the idea of therapy. According to the Cabots, airing your dirty laundry or problems to a complete stranger was just plain unheard of. Alex had seen a therapist to cope with PTSD after the Velez and WPP situation, but she had never quite felt comfortable doing so. And it wasn't like her daughter had experienced something traumatic like that… That said, she knew that her wife had her own resistances to therapy. So if Olivia was suggesting it, she really must think that something was wrong.

"You think it's that bad?"

Olivia shrugged. "I just don't want it to get worse. She used to be such a happy kid, but lately something is just different."

Alex nodded, absentmindedly drawing her fingertip along Olivia's palm. "So we'll call someone?"

"I was thinking of asking Huang actually. He was transferred back to the City by the FBI. At least it's someone we both know then. Like, we've seen him talk to kids."

"I would be comfortable with Huang."

"Okay," Olivia replied, giving the blonde's hand a squeeze. "I'll give him a call in the morning."


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU. Some dialogue taken from "Townhouse Incident"

A/N:

(1) I've updated my profile to include a place where I'll list suggested prompts for this series so that I can keep track of them. Feel free to review with suggestions or send me a PM with oneshots that you would like to see!

(2) One thing I struggle with most with keeping track of its everyone's exact age. So, from here on out, for future reference, here is everyone's names and birthdays:

Olivia Margaret Cabot-Benson: February 7, 1968 (cannon name and birthday)

Alexandra Louise Cabot-Benson: September 23, 1974 (Stephanie March's birth year)

Amelia Serena "Mia" Cabot-Benson: July 9, 2009

Maxwell Alexander Cabot-Benson: October 27, 2010 – October 27, 2010

Sadie Caroline Cabot-Benson: January 01, 2012

Noah Porter Cabot-Benson: December 20, 2013

(3) This oneshot will be based on "Townhouse Incident" – I've really enjoyed other AUs of this episode and here's my take on what might have happened if Alex and Olivia were married and had kids when all of this went down.

TITLE

Timeline: January 13, 2016 (airdate of "Townhouse Incident")

Ages: Olivia (47), Alex (41), Mia (6), Sadie (4), Noah (2)

"Alright is everyone ready to go?" Olivia called out to her brood. It was everyone's first day back to school and, in Noah's case, daycare after winter vacation. It had been an enjoyable hiatus from the hustle and bustle of busy schedules, and all of the Cabot-Bensons had gotten to spend a great deal of quality time together – a luxury none of them took for granted. In fact, whereas most parents probably counted down the end of winter break, Olivia would have been very content to have another week or two of family time. Alas, this was not the present reality and – if anything – the adjustment back to their regimen was proving a bit difficult.

As if on cue, Sadie came bolting into the living room, backpack in hand. Although they were both only children themselves, both Olivia and Alex had heard of "middle child syndrome," and it appeared that their own younger daughter had adopted some of its characteristics. Unlike her reserved – although sometimes bossy – older sister and docile younger brother, Sadie had a bit of a mischievous streak. Although everyone loved her vibrant spirit and entertaining personality, she also had a stubborn streak and a penchant for trying to get attention.

Presently, the last seemed quite true, as the little brunette stood in front of her mother in a hodgepodge of mismatched clothing, including one brown boot and one pink ballet flat. Olivia exhaled, preparing herself for the uphill battle.

"That's quite an outfit you have there, Sadie" she observed, trying to conceal her slight amusement at the situation.

The little girl grinned widely. "It's da stuff I gotted for my birthday!"

"Got, baby," Olivia corrected gently. "And I can see that! But wouldn't it be a better idea to not wear all of your new clothes at once? This way today is not the only special day you get to wear something new."

Sadie shook her head and explained her logic as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Today is EXTRA special 'cause I'm wearing everything new."

Olivia glanced up at the clock. 7:33. They were already running behind. Dragging her fingers through her hair, she sighed. "Ah, I see. But Sadie, a lot of those things don't match each other. And it's a lot of layers, hun. You're gonna get hot."

"No I won't!" the tiny girl replied with a pout. As a staring match between the two brunettes ensued, the timer on the expresso machine went off, and Alex came darting into the room, slipping on one of her stilettos in route. She stopped abruptly when she noticed Sadie's ensemble.

"Sadie, what in the world are you…"

Olivia waved her hand at the blonde. "Don't worry, Mama. You're running late for work. Sadie here was just about to change into her polka dot leggings and purple sweater. Isn't that right, Sadie?" She gave her wife a smirk.

Sadie exhaled heavily. "Fineeee," she relented, before scurrying off back to hers and Mia's room.

"God help us when she's a teenager," Olivia sighed, turning towards Alex, who was in the process of putting her coffee into a to-go cup.

"If she doesn't kill us with her antics long before that," the blonde quipped, earning a chuckle from her wife. "Are you sure you can handle them all this morning?"

"Yeah, no pressing cases, and I don't have to be at the conference for another couple of hours. You go, get to court," Olivia said, holding up Alex's peacoat so the attorney could slip into it.

"Thanks, babe. I'll pick us up something for dinner? Alfredo's?"

"Sounds perfect," the brunette replied, placing a quick kiss on the blonde's lips.

"Okay, great." She raised her voice to call out to the kids, "Alright everyone, I'm heading to court. I love you all! Have a good day at school and listen to Mommy!" She gave her wife one last smile. "Love you."

"I love you, too."

A few minutes later, the crew was just about ready, with Mia and Sadie helping Noah put on his shoes while Olivia finished cramming the last bit of lunches into their bags. When she heard a knock at the door, she furrowed her brow. They weren't expecting company. Maybe Alex had forgotten her keys? Looking through the peephole, she found their nanny, Lucy.

"Hey Lucy," she greeted, pulling open the door and allowing the young woman inside. "I'm sorry, did we get our signals crossed? I thought I mentioned I could drop the kids off today…"

"No, no you did. I – um. I stopped by the Crivello's about fifteen minutes ago. They're the other family that I work for. There are two kids. I walk the younger boy, Luca, to school. I went over this morning to pick him up and his mom sent me away. She was acting really strange. Something was… off."

Olivia furrowed her brow and glanced at the clock. 7:54. "How do you mean?"

"Her voice was really shaky. She was really nervous. There were red marks on her neck too. And her husband was there, yelling." Lucy inhaled, clearly shaken herself. "Maybe you could swing by?"

Olivia paused but nodded. "Yeah, of course." She stood up and walked back to the living room, Lucy following her. "Hey guys, I actually have to head to work now. But Lucy is here, and she's going to take you all to school, okay?"

At the mention of their nanny's name, the three children grinned and ran over to her shouting hellos, hugging her legs. They hadn't seen Lucy in several days and adored her. Turning to Olivia, they said their goodbyes for the day, a mix of "Bye Mommy" and "love yous."

About ten minutes later, Olivia walked up to the Crivello's front door, knocking on its black wood. After a few moments, the door knob jiggled and Lisa Crivello pulled the door slightly ajar. A bit peculiar indeed…

"Hi, Lisa. Olivia Benson."

"Sure, you're Noah's mom. Lucy's not here…"

"Actually I stopped by to speak with you."

Lisa looked apologetic. "It's a bad day. Uh, Luca's sick."

"Yeah," Olivia replied, clearly not believing the woman, eyes betraying concern. After all, Lisa didn't seem to find it odd that she wanted to talk, which was strange considering the two had never met in person. More and more, her gut told her that something was wrong. Every red flag for a DV case was being waved. "You have a – you have a little cut there, over your eye…"

"Oh, it's nothing," the other woman replied, waving her hand flippantly. "I should go," she stated, beginning to close the door.

"So how about I come back later?"

Lisa paused, as though she was listening to something. "Actually, why not just come in now?" she said, taking a step back.

"Okay," the brunette said with a soft smile, glad that the woman seemed to be relaxing slightly. Suddenly, however, the door slammed shut behind her, and before she could react, a man pinned her back against the wood by her shoulders.

"Hey, how you doing?" he breathed. Olivia looked around, eyes widening as she saw a young red-head holding Lisa in a choke-hold, pistol pointed straight at her. "Show me your hands!" the man demanded.

"Okay, okay, okay," Olivia replied, as calmly as she could muster. Over the man's shoulder, she noted the Crivello's older teenage daughter standing there petrified. This wasn't DV. This was a hostage situation. The lieutenant held her hands up. "Okay. You're both in charge," she said to the intruders.

"One move, and I'll blow a hole right through your face," the man said, grazing the tip of his gun against her cheek. Olivia closed her eyes as she felt the damp heat of his breath against her neck and the cool metal near her temple, trying to steady herself. She knew what to do. She had been in situations like this before.

"I'm sorry," Lisa whimpered, holding back tears.

The man took a step backwards, his gun still poised on Olivia's chest. Another man in a knit hat entered the room, and the lieutenant wondered just how many intruders there were, wracking her mind to figure out a game plan. Right now, given the erraticness of the group, transparency seemed best.

"My name is Olivia Benson," she began to explain as the new man grabbed her purse and shook its contents onto the ground. "And I'm here by chance, but I'm a New York City police officer." The three looked at each other nervously. Clearly they were not pros…

"You armed?" the man with the gun finally growled.

"I am," Olivia replied calmly, careful not to move. "My weapon is holstered right here on my right hip," she explained, gesturing with her chin. The man had his accomplice grab her weapon and continued to pat her down, the inappropriateness of his groping near her chest not going unnoticed. Olivia grimaced when he pulled out her cell phone, knowing it was her only chance to get in touch with the squad, who thought she wasn't coming in today because of a conference. As she considered her next moves, more about what was going on was revealed: the intruders discussed looking for cash and beating Mr. Crivello until he told them of its location. Meanwhile, the ringleader examined her phone.

"Who all knows you're here?"

"No one."

The man looked at her skeptically. "You better not be lying to me."

"I'm not lying to you."

"These your kids?" he asked, holding up the illuminated iPhone screen in her direction. Her homescreen was a picture of the Mia, Sadie, and Noah that they had taken a couple of weeks ago at Christmas. It was nighttime after a long day of fun, and the three had been watching a movie. They were curled up under a blanket on the couch and had all dozed off, the Christmas tree twinkling behind them. Alex had captured the candid, and it soon became one of Olivia's favorites. The brunette felt her resolve wavering at the mention of her children, her body beginning to shake. She forced the tears that were beginning to pool from falling from her eyes. She had to be strong right now. She had to be strong for them.

"Hmm?"

"They are," she finally managed.

"Good," the man said sadistically. "Means that you don't want to die."

~*~*Page Break~*~*Page Break~*~*Page Break~*~*Page Break~*~*Page Break~*~*

"Congratulations, you found another unarmed black man. I suppose we should be grateful that you didn't shoot him" the defense attorney quipped at an unamused Fin, Dodds, and Barba.

"He had a gun on him," Fin stated matter-of-factly.

"Did he? Who planted it?"

"Don't troll," Barba shot back. "This is your client's third rape. We have multiple IDs," he explained before taking a sip of his drink.

"DNA too," Dodds added. "Forensics will confirm."

Attempting to play in cool, the defender raised a hand to stop further explanation. "Save it for the judge. May I?"

Barba nodded, the three men watching as he entered the interrogation room to speak with his client. "Nice work. Where's Liv?" the prosecutor asked once the door slammed shut.

"She's still at the DNA conference."

"No, she's not. I was there all morning. I would have seen her," Barba clarified.

Fin furrowed his brow and looked to Dodds, who seemed equally perplexed by their lieutenant's whereabouts. Clarification, however, came soon after, when Lucy arrived at the precinct.

"Guys, we got a problem here," Carisi alerted the rest of the squad, the young woman in tow. "Liv just texted this to her babysitter," he explained, handing Lucy's phone to Fin.

"Stuck at precinct all day. Pick up William at day care. He has a playdate with Lewis today," Fin read aloud.

"William Lewis?" Barba pondered, straightening up. "That's not good. When did you last hear from her?"

"I texted her a few hours ago about the push-in rapist. She answered back," Dodds assured.

"But you didn't actually speak to her?" the prosecutor clarified. "And now she's sending us a text about William Lewis?"

"That's got to be a code for 1013," Fin elaborated.

"Lucy said that she checked on a neighbor this morning," Carisi added. He turned to the babysitter. "Where?"

"Upper West Side. 73rd and Amsterdam."

"Fin, Carisi – get over there now," Dodds commanded, "Lay low. We're not sure what is going on and the situation could escalate.

Fin nodded. "You got it, Sarg," he replied before he and Carisi exited the building, guiding Lucy out on their way.

The situation did escalate. No more than 20 minutes later, Carisi called in to an awaiting Dodds and Barba that it was a hostage situation and that Olivia was inside with two armed perps and the Crivello's two children.

"I'll call 1PP. Get ESU down there immediately. Don't move until they're there," Dodds said firmly into the phone before hanging up. He dialed in, alerting the police chief of the emergency while gathering up his belongings to head to the scene. When he hung up and turned towards the door, Barba's arm caught him.

"Someone has to tell Cabot."

~*~*Page Break~*~*Page Break~*~*Page Break~*~*Page Break~*~*Page Break~*~*

Rushing through the corridor of the courthouse, Dodds and Barba hurried to locate the courtroom that Alex was in.

"I checked the docket. She should be at the end of the hall with Petrovsky," Barba offered, slightly out of breath. Before they could reach the room, however, they stumbled into the aforementioned judge.

"Gentlemen," she said looking at them curiously, perking an eyebrow. "Did your mothers not teach you about running indoors?"

"Apologies, Judge," Dodds said apologetically. "We were actually heading to your courtroom. Have you seen ADA Cabot?"

"We've just recessed for lunch. I believe she went into one of the reading rooms to prepare for a cross-examination…" The older woman looked to see if anyone was listening, knowing how quickly gossip spread in the courthouse, and lowered her voice. "Is something wrong?"

Dodds looked to Barba. "We just need to speak with her," the attorney fibbed.

"Rafael, I'm a judge. I know when people are lying," Petrovsky scolded. "What is this about…" She frowned as a thought crossed her mind. "Is Olivia alright…"

Barba sighed. "Olivia's being held hostage in a civilian's home. Two armed perps. Two kids in the house. ESU is on the way."

Petrovsky's brown eyes widened. "She should still be on this floor. We just recessed. Go. I'll call a recess until tomorrow."

Dress shoes slippery on the marble floor, they hurried into the hall into the library. The attendant looked at the two out-of-breath men curiously. "ADA Cabot?" Barba asked, not wasting any more time to explain.

"Room 4."

The two men found the blonde attorney bent over a legal pad, fountain pen poised. A constitutional law sat on one side of her, an untouched salad on the other. When they opened the door, she and her assistant looked up.

Alex was no longer SVU's ADA. When Olivia was promoted, they figured the conflict of interest was too much. Further, she had advanced quickly with her career in the past couple of years and as a result was offered a position as a DA for homicide.

Therefore, an unplanned visit from Dodds and Barba certainly couldn't mean anything good.

"What's wrong?" Alex asked, a slight note of panic in her voice.

"Did you know Olivia went to check on one of the other family's Lucy sits for this morning?" Dodds asked. "The Crivellos."

Alex furrowed her brow. "No. She was about to take the kids to school when I left. What the hell is going on," she growled, standing up.

"The family was being held hostage by gunmen. Liv didn't know. She walked right into it…" Barba began to explain.

Alex paled, her legs wobbling as she felt herself getting nauseous. "Is she…"

"She's okay," Barba reassured, allowing the blonde to release a slight breath. "But she's still inside with the two kids. We're going down there now."

"I'm coming with you," Alex asserted, grabbing her coat and striding across the room.

"Alex," Dodds said, giving her a serious look, "She can't know you're there. She'll lose focus…"

"She's my wife. I know that, Sergeant," Alex spat icily. "Macey, get in touch with Petrovsky. Tell her it's an emergency…"

"We ran into her," Barba interrupted, "Court's in recess."

"Okay, let's go."

~*~*Page Break~*~*Page Break~*~*Page Break~*~*Page Break~*~*Page Break~*~*

When they arrived on the scene, one of the perps had just been apprehended by Fin and Carisi.

"Ralph Volkov. Assault, drunk driving. Fired by Crivello's grocery chain after two failed drug tests," Dodds said, filling the two attorneys in on his phone call.

"A revenge plan?" Barba speculated.

Alex followed. "But he's not the ringleader?"

"No," Dodds replied solemnly, knowing the situation was still grave.

The trio stepped into one of the ESU vans, where Tucker was on the phone trying to get in touch with Joe. Ralph, meanwhile, was explaining the situation. "Yeah this was his idea. I didn't want to hurt them. We just – we needed the money."

"Hello, Ralph," Barba greeted the beanie-clad man with sarcastic chipperness. "I'm Assistant District Attorney Rafael Barba. So who's 'we'?"

The man looked up at him warily, followed by Dodds and Cabot who stood off to the side, all watching him intensely.

"Me and my sister Roxie. Our—our mother, she—she needs a new hip. She can hardly walk."

"Roxie's the one in the house now?" the sergeant clarified.

"Yeah, but she didn't want to hurt anyone either. That's all on Joe." From her position near Dodds, Alex struggled not to roll her eyes at the imbecilic man in front of her. While he was more pathetic than anything else, she wanted to strangle him for putting her wife into the current situation. She watched as Ralph became more and more frightened as the reality of what was going on sunk in, with Barba explaining how he would be charged with felony murder, God forbid anyone was killed. The blonde shuddered at the thought, forcing herself to focus on the moment at hand. To see if there was anything she could do to assist in the situation even though she had been instructed to just stand by.

Barba and the rest of the squad continued to pry information out of Ralph, searching through his phone. Finding an image of Joe on the U.S. Military Veteran Database. Dishonorable discharge. Alex allowed the memory of his face to be burned into her brain.

"Joe's about to call Ralph. That's you," Tucker interrupted, walking across the truck with a glower.

"Yeah, but this wasn't my idea," Ralph said looking up at him.

"Play along. Tell him you have the money. And to ask the negotiator to let you two hook up safely," Tucker instructed as Ralph's cell phone began to vibrate.

"I don't think I should get involved…"

That was the last straw for Alex. In one swift move, she bent down in front of Ralph and gripped the neck of his shirt with a perfectly manicured hand. "Let me tell you something, Ralph," she growled, the rest of the squad looking at the two in stunned silence, unsure of how to intervene. "You do one useful thing in your whole miserable existence, pick up that phone, and follow Tucker's instructions. Do you hear me?" she asked with a piercing glare.

Ralph shuddered slightly under her gaze, himself not daring to move other than to give her a small nod. Alex stood to her feet and strode back to her position as Dodd's handed Ralph his cell phone. The look Barba was giving her assured her she would hear about it later, but right now, as the scraggly man talked to his accomplice, it didn't matter.

Things went downhill fast, however, when Ralph revealed to Joe that he had been captured. The man had called back in a pure rage, demanding that both Ralph and the money be brought to the house. Alex knew that wouldn't be acceptable to the DA's office or to ESU. It wasn't how these negotiations worked. She had been in Barba's position before and had put her foot down plenty of times with agreements. But now, she only wished there was some type of loophole. Her only solace was the sound of Olivia's voice. It took all of her willpower to not call out to her, to not check in about her condition. She knew, however, that her wife's only chance was for no more surprises to occur.

Unfortunately, that didn't happen. A reality that slapped Alex in the face as she watched in horror about twenty minutes later as a red-headed young woman surrendered.

~*~*Page Break~*~*Page Break~*~*Page Break~*~*Page Break~*~*Page Break~*~*

Olivia tried to maintain a strong face, but inside she was completely and utterly terrified. Joe was unhinged, his behavior becoming more and more erratic and unpredictably since the cops had arrived, since he had taken more drugs, since Roxie left…

As much as she had told Roxie to leave for her own good, she soon became aware of its aftermath for those still in the townhouse. Now she was standing there, the tip of Joe's gun pressed against the back of her head, both of the Crivello children flanking either of her sides, preparing to walk outside.

She knew ESU would be poised to shoot. Even if Tucker had agreed to move them backwards, she was aware that it was a bit of a false promise and that most of the situation would be out of his hands at this point. Olivia knew they wouldn't try to shoot him if he held his gun in place. That they wouldn't try to beat his trigger finger with her standing there. But the notion of getting into that SUV with him didn't sit with her well either. They would never let Joe leave the scene like he expected they would, and she knew that realization would likely be the last straw. Olivia shuddered at the thought, pushing it out of her head. She had to come up with a plan. And fast.

~*~*Page Break~*~*Page Break~*~*Page Break~*~*Page Break~*~*Page Break~*~*

Alex watched from far behind ESU's barricade as her wife descended the stairs of the townhouse. From her position next to Barba, she could have easily seen the two terrified children. She could have seen the details of Joe's amped up face. But she didn't. Right now, her eyes were trained on Olivia. Trained on her wife and the mother of her children. Trained on the gun that pressed against the back of her head. Trained on her deep brown eyes which were filled with complete and total exhausted fear.

Alex felt her chest tightening in fear, the gravity of the situation becoming so tangibly apparent.

She didn't dare move a muscle, as through that movement would trigger Joe's finger itself.

The padding of feet broke her out of her trance. The children. He had released the two Crivello children and they were running, crying, running as fast as they could, ducking under the line of ESU police and into the embrace of two officers.

That just left Olivia.

Things weren't going Joe's way. That much was clear. And Alex garnered that, as much of an deluded idiot as he might be, Joe likely knew that too. Which is why, in spite of the brave face she was putting on, Alex knew that Olivia was terrified.

The blonde didn't even feel the tears running down her cheeks as her wife took another step towards the car, like a slow walk to death.

Olivia stopped after a couple of small paces. Her lips were moving, talking. It was silent as everyone watched. Alex strained her ears to try to hear what her wife was saying, but she was too far away. Whatever she was saying, however, Joe was clearly growing more and more disgruntled, wanting to get into the car and slam the pedal to the ground. He hedged, however, allowing Olivia to spin around and clock him clear across the face. And that was all that it took.

 _Bang!_ A shot rang out.

Alex's world went into slow motion. "Lieutenant!" she heard Dodd's call out, rushing onto the scene. The flock of black-clad ESU officers also closed in.

"Oh my god," Alex breathed, coming back into her body. With Barba calling out her name to wait, she ran through the crowd and towards the scene. Towards Olivia. She had seen someone fall to the ground. She entire heart had gone with them. And now Alex needed to know that her wife was alive.

She almost collapsed with relief as it became clear that Olivia was still standing, trying to steady her shaking legs to brace herself as Tucker and Carisi grabbed her, rushing her away from where Joe's body lay, blood oozing from his skull.

"I'm okay. I'm okay," the brunette lieutenant kept repeating, like a mantra, as she was guided back towards the van. Back towards Alex.

The attorney ran to her. Not caring for one second about protocol or Barba, who was calling her to hang back. She pushed past the uniformed officers until she was within reach of Olivia, grabbing her biceps with tears streaming down her face.

Olivia flinched at first, adrenaline still coursing through her system, but Alex felt some of the tension leave her wife's body as she realized that it was Alex. That she was safe. She fell against Alex's body, gripping one of the attorney's pale hands tightly.

"Where are the kids?" she asked, voice still panic-striken.

"They're okay," Carisi assured.

"But where are they?" Olivia asked, looking into Alex's eyes.

The blonde used her free hand to gently caress the side of the brunette's face, which she now noticed was deeply cut and bruised. "They're okay, baby. They're with Lucy at home right now."

"Please. I need to see them," Olivia begged, eyes closed as she rested her head tiredly against Alex's palm.

Tucker looked aside, slightly uncomfortable witnessing the intimacy between the two women. He cleared his throat. "Lieutenant, you need to be examined for injuries. You should go to the hospital…"

Olivia gave Alex a fearful look and the attorney frowned. "We'll get you looked at by the EMTs. Quickly. And then we'll go home and be with the kids, okay sweetheart?" Olivia nodded, allowing herself to be guided towards the ambulance as Alex gave Tucker a look that foreclosed any further prodding that Olivia go to the hospital. Right now, seeing their children was the best care that Olivia could receive.

Carisi drove them. It was clear from Olivia's disposition that she couldn't leave Alex's side, so the two women crawled into the back of the squad car, Alex never letting go of her wife's hand. They quickly traveled the few blocks to the family's home, thanking the detective as they exited the car. Alex breathed a sigh of relief that the press hadn't noticed to follow them in all of the shuffle. When they got to the front door, Olivia turned to Alex and finally spoke, not having done so since she was examined by the EMTs. "My face… the kids…"

Alex squeezed the brunette's hand. "It's okay. We'll explain to them that you're okay," the attorney assured. They opened the door to the entry, making their way down the hall. Before they could reach the living room, their three children, followed by Lucy, came bounding around the corner.

"Mommy! Mama," the little ones called out. Their eyes grew wide as they noted their mother's bedraggled appearance, the injuries on her face clear to them.

Mia's lower lip wavered, sensing the tension in the room. "What happened to Mommy?" she asked on the verge of tears.

"Shh, sweet girl," Olivia comforted, squatting down and opening her arms. "A bad guy hit me today, but everything is alright. Just a bruise," she reassured, pulling the little blonde into a hug.

"Did ya catch him, Mommy?" Sadie asked, approaching Olivia with Noah.

"Yeah baby, we caught him," Olivia sighed, embracing her other two children as well. After a few moments of holding her children tightly, of breathing in the smell of their Loreal shampoo and feeling one of Noah's slobbering kisses against her cheek, she smiled and stood. The children, thankfully, seemed at ease after the lieutenant's simple explanation of her injuries. After all, they had seen their mother come home injured from work before. The gravity of this particular situation went right over their heads.

"Mommy, Mama, do you wanna finish watching _Cars_ with us?" Mia asked.

"Vroom vroom!" Noah said excitedly.

Olivia chuckled. "That's right, Noah, my smart boy!" she praised. "We'll be right in, babies. We just need to talk to Lucy first," the brunette said, nodding towards the guilty-looking sitter. "Give her a hug bye-bye."

When the kids had scurried off, Lucy finally made eye-contact with Olivia, tears filling her eyes. "Liv, I'm so sor-"

Olivia shook her head, placing a comforting hand on the younger woman's arm. "No, Lucy, you did nothing wrong."

"But-"

"Olivia's right, Lucy," Alex interjected. "If you hadn't told her, the Crivellos… it could have been so much worse." The lieutenant nodded in agreement.

"I'm just so glad you are okay," Lucy said, hugging Olivia tightly.

"Me too," the lieutenant replied.

"I'll let you all have the rest of your evening together," Lucy said, not wanting to interrupt the family's time together. "Do you want me to take them to school again tomorrow?"

Alex shook her head. "We're going to take the next couple of days off," she explained, wrapping her arm around Olivia. The younger sitter nodded understandingly. "But we'll see you Monday morning?"

"I'll see you then. Just call me if you need anything!"

"We will. Thank you, Lucy. Let us know that you get home safe."

The couple headed into the living room, smiling at the sight of their three children huddled around a large bowl of popcorn that their babysitter had made them. "Mama, Mommy, we saved ya some!" Sadie exclaimed, holding out a palmful of soggy popcorn to show them.

"And we kept the movie paused. We can restart it if you want though," Mia offered.

"No that's alright guys," Olivia said, placing a kiss on her daughters' heads and scooping Noah into her arms. "You can start it from here."

"And then how about you guys hop up on the bed and cuddle with your Mommy while I go heat up some mac n cheese?" Alex asked, the two girls nodded before curling up next to the lieutenant. Alex gave each of the four a kiss on the forehead, her lips lingering on Olivia's a moment longer. It was killing her to move but a step away from her wife, but she knew for the sake of the kids it was best to keep things as normal as possible. She and Olivia would talk as soon as they had a moment alone. For now, her heart swelled as she watched the loves of her life cuddled up on the couch with one another. Home and safe.

Although it was seldom that they did so, that night Olivia and Alex let the kids sleep in their bed with them, neither wanting them out of their sight. Neither woman got too much sleep. Sadie had a penchant for kicking in her sleep, her foot position directly against Alex's side that night. On top of that, every couple of hours Olivia woke from a restless sleep because of an endless stream of nightmares. Alex would reach over the kids to grab her hand, stroking her thumb across the lieutenant's sweaty palm as she lulled her through her panic attacks. Even still, the couple spent the majority of the night watching over their children, both afraid to encounter the terrifying images that haunted their sleep.

The next morning, they both took the kids to school and daycare. They had debated keeping them home, but Olivia ultimately insisted that keeping their schedule was important. She didn't want them to sense that something bad had happened beyond the degree to which they already had. Their walk home was silent, both knowing the difficult conversation that loomed. When they arrived back at their townhouse, Alex tossed her coat over the back of the couch and gestured sheepishly towards the kitchen. "Do you uh – I can make you something if you'd like. I know you didn't eat much last night."

Olivia shook her head. "Can we just…" she trailed off, gesturing upstairs.

Alex nodded. "Of course, baby," she replied, taking the brunette's hand. They walked upstairs and into their bedroom, taking a seat next to each other on the bed. Although they continued holding hands, neither of them looked at each other for a moment, a looming tenseness filling the space.

Finally Olivia turned to Alex, revealing tear-filled brown eyes. "I – I was so scared."

Alex let out a small whimper, pulling the brunette into an embrace, holding her wife's body as it finally wracked with sobs. Everything that Olivia had held in – for the sake of the Crivellos, for the sake of the squad, for the sake of Lucy, for the sake of the kids – was now coming out in the safety of her wife's arms. Alex rubbed a comforting hand in smooth circles on Olivia's back, forcing herself to remain strong for her wife in that moment. Eventually Olivia calmed slightly, pulling back to look at Alex. "All I could think about was you and the kids." She paused. "When he uh – when he first grabbed me – J-Joe took my phone and he say their picture. He said it was good that I had a family because that meant that I didn't want to die…" she trailed off, looking aside. Alex swallowed heavily, tracing her fingers gently down the uninjured side of Olivia's jaw. "I – I didn't know if this was going to – turn out like it did. Usually I have a sense that things will be okay, even if it's tense. But this time…" She started sobbing again, this time the blonde joining in suite as she realized just how close she had come to losing her wife yesterday.

"I was so afraid that we were going to lose you," Alex finally admitted, gripping the brunette tightly. Olivia thought back to the intense pain that she experienced when Alex was shot all of those years ago, the years with WPP when she didn't know if she would ever see the blonde again. She shuddered as she realized just how terrified her wife would have been and curled her fingers in her light tresses, pulling Alex's head gently against her chest, inadvertently guiding the woman to her pounding heartbeat.

Alex gripped at Olivia's sweater as she worked on calming down. She looked up and found the brunette's brown eyes looking at her, full of worry. Leave it to Olivia to go through something so traumatic and be concerned about her well-being, Alex thought to herself. The exact amount of intangible love that the blonde had for her wife swell within her, and she curled a hand around the back of the lieutenant's neck, pulling her into a fierce kiss. They embraced, the saltiness of both of their tears melding together and they pulled closer and closer, as though they were trying to intertwine their bodies so as to never separate.

They finally pulled apart and Olivia looked at her wife, eyes glazed with emotions. "Alex, please," she asked softly.

Wordlessly, Alex guided Olivia back onto the bed, removing her own sweater and bra. She quickly rid Olivia of her own garments, and soon both women were completely bare, skin to skin, olive mixed with ivory.

Alex settled into the curves of Olivia's body as she peppered her with kisses, memorizing each and every inch of the brunette with her lips. She traced her fingers gently along the bruised skin that had purpled overnight, through Olivia's brunette locks, across her lips. She guided her hand down, slowly over the lieutenant's taunt abdomen, feeling her shudder as she guided her hand to the patch of dark curls between her legs.

Kissing Olivia deeply, Alex began to work her fingers, guiding them around the brunette's core. After a few moments, Olivia matched her positioning, slipping her own fingers through the blonde's folds, earning a gasp.

A shudder. A pant. A caress.

The women continued to move against one another's bodies. While they had a health sex life, full of passionate love-making, times like this were different. It was as though sex itself was something else entirely. They ebbed and flowed together, gripping each other tightly as the moved closer and closer to intense climaxes that left them panting and sweat-covered, Alex kissing Olivia's tears away.

After several minutes of silence, they looked at each other once more. Alex wanted to tell Olivia to quit. That she had done enough over the years. Enough and far more. She knew that the same thought was running through the lieutenant's mind. But Alex would never say that to her. She knew just how entwined Olivia was with this job. Her empathy. Her passion. The things that terrified her most were also some of the things that she loved most about the brunette. So the only thing she said was "I love you."

Olivia didn't say anything. She didn't have to. Instead, she pressed a firm kiss against the attorney's forehead, pulling her close as they began to drift asleep, both with hands resting over the other's heart.

A/N: A long one for you all! I'm not super crazy with how it turned out, but hopefully it's okay. Please review!


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU

A/N: For the prompt Jealous! Olivia (requested by Guest). As with the rest of the Always You universe, when Alex returned after Ghost, she did not go back into witness protection. Instead, she and Olivia renewed their friendship and Alex returned to working as an ADA for SVU.

Green-Eyed Detective

 _Set in 2005 (Season 7)_

Olivia glowered as she watched the site in front of her, arms folded across her desk. She was at the courthouse, waiting for Alex to prep her for taking the witness stand tomorrow; however the blonde woman was currently caught in a conversation with a young prosecutor for the DA's office, Sam Henley.

It wasn't the waiting that had Olivia riled up per say. In actuality, she didn't really need the trial prep – having reviewed the facts of the case and had experience testifying dozens and dozens of time before. If she was being honest, agreeing to the trial prep was more so capitalizing on the chance to spend some one-on-one time with her otherwise very busy friend. A friend who was currently engaged in a conversation with an attractive, male twenty-something whose hand hovered dangerously close to her lower back as he examined a case file with the stunning blonde ADA.

That's right, Olivia Benson was jealous. Deeply and unapologetically jealous.

For the couple of years after they first met, when Alex first started working with the 1-6, Olivia had maintained that she and the attorney were just friends – eventually _close_ friends. And it was true. They had never crossed that line. Sure, there was the subtle flirting, the brushing of hands that always sent a jolt down Olivia's spine, the fact that Alex always sat on the edge of the detective's desk. There were far too late nights with wine and conversation relaxed on either of the women's couches. Hell, at least from the detective's perspective, there was even eye-fucking. But that was it. No matter how much Elliot prodded her, convinced that something was going on between the two, there wasn't. At least not like that.

And then Alex was shot.

When Alex bled out on the sidewalk, Olivia felt like a part of her had died with her. When the blonde went into WITSEC, even though the brunette was relieved beyond words that she had survived, she had fallen into a deep depression. Everyone around her noticed the lack of glimmer in the detective's eye since Alex left. Her behavior towards the ADA's replacement, Casey Novak, was rude at best and openly hostile at worst. And Elliot wound up picking her up far too many times from a dive bar near the precinct after way too many drinks.

Elliot knew the reason why she was hurting so much, even if Olivia had yet to acknowledge it herself. He had seen the detective date before, and he was best friends with her himself, but something about her relationship with Alex was different. On the one hand, she was fiercely protective of the blonde ADA. But she was also lighter around her… smiled more. She seemed genuinely happy. And, as much as she earned her title of the 'Ice Princess," Elliot had to admit that Alex seemed happy around his friend too.

Earlier that year, Alex had returned. A case investigating the shooting of several families wound up tracing back to the workings of a Colombian drug cartel – the same cartel that had been responsible for Alex's "death" at the hands of Liam Connors. Cragen and Hammond had retrieved the former ADA from her home in Wisconsin, where she was living as a woman named Emily. Olivia had stayed with her the night before the trial. From the moment she entered Alex's hotel room, she felt like a missing piece of her had been fiddled back into place. Her heart broke as she listened to Alex, _her_ Alex, talked about her life in WITSEC. The loneliness of the Midwest, the fear of being found, the claims adjustor that had been sharing her bed…

That night, Olivia had shared her bed. Not in the biblical sense. They had fallen asleep together fully clothed, Alex wrapped in Olivia's arms. For a long time, Olivia remained awake, watching over her blonde friend. It was at that point that the detective admitted her feelings to herself. Alex Cabot had always been more than a friend to her. Quite frankly, she had started falling for the blonde the minute she walked into SVU's precinct.

In her sleep, Alex unconsciously rested a hand on Olivia's breast, letting out a relaxed sigh. Hesitating, Olivia finally wrapped her fingers in the blondes before drifting off on what might have been their last night together.

Thankfully, for the detective, it wasn't the last night. At first, it seemed as though Alex would be sent back into WPP, but ultimately it was ascertained that because Connors would be extradited to his native Ireland, that she was safe in spite of her testimony. That said, it took a long while for Alexandra Cabot to return to being the Alex that they once had known. In fact, in some ways the attorney was irrevocably changed by what had happened to her. But at first timid and afraid, after a year of struggle Alex was returning to her confident, assertive self. And Olivia couldn't be prouder.

Which is why, as she stood there glaring at Sam's blatant flirting with the blonde ADA, watched as Alex self-assuredly explained some aspect of case law to him with an amused smile on her face, Olivia couldn't be totally angry. At the end of the day, if Alex was happy, she would be, even if she wasn't the direct source of that happiness.

Olivia's cell phone vibrated and she looked down, finding a text from Elliot that they needed her at a crime scene. With a sigh, the brunette shrugged her hands into her pockets. No Alex time today. She was about to head out of the courtroom, figuring she would shoot the blonde an apologetic text in route, when the attorney finally said goodbye to a disappointed Sam, striding across the hall, black stilettos clicking on the marble floor.

"Hey, sorry about that," she told Olivia with a small smile. "I guess law school isn't what it used to be," she joked.

Olivia forced a small chuckle. "It's not a problem." She gestured towards the exit. "Unfortunately I have to go though. El just called me to a scene in Tribeca. Raincheck?"

Alex walked alongside her as the detective headed to the elevator. "Well, I imagine you're ready for the trial. We probably don't actually have to meet…"

Olivia frowned as she pressed the "down" button. "Oh uh, yeah. You're probably right…" she trailed off, trying to hide her disappointment. She breathed a sigh of relief that an empty elevator arrived, offering her some sort of refuge given that the attorney didn't budge. "Okay then, I'll see you tomorrow I guess?" she offered with a small smile as the elevator began to close.

Alex stuck out an arm, halting the doors much to Olivia's surprise. "Yes, I'll see you tomorrow bright and early. And then how about tomorrow evening, you take me to dinner, Detective?" Olivia gaped at her with brown eyes wide. With a mischievous smile, Alex continued, "There's a new French restaurant on 84th. I've heard it's a prime location for first dates.

Olivia swallowed, her heart beat pounding in ears. Stunned into silence, she managed a nod. "Um, ye-yeah, I would- I would really like that."

Alex smirked at the detective's flustered disposition, having been perfectly aware that Olivia had been watching her in the minutes prior and for many months before. Her time in WITSEC had taught her that, as clichéd as it sounds, life was short, and she was pushing off her happiness for the sake of political ambitions. And now for waiting for the shy detective to make the first move. "Excellent," Alex said cheerfully, hiding her own blush. "See you tomorrow, Detective," she said, spinning on her heel and marching back into the vestibule, adding an extra swing in her hips for the detective who's eyes she could feel on her back.

Olivia bit her lip and smiled. "See you tomorrow, Counselor," she whispered happily to herself.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU

A/N: As requested, making the last chapter ("Green-Eyed Detective") into a two-shot. Alex and Olivia's first date.

Olivia's dress is from season 7 episode 3 "911"

Alex's dress is the one that Stephanie March wore for the "5 Influential Hamptons Residents You Should Know" spread from Hamptons magazine.

Rating: T until the last section (in-text warning present)

A Thousand Years

"Alex?"

Olivia nodded.

"Alexandra Cabot?" Elliot confirmed, astonished.

Olivia nodded once more.

" _ADA_ Alexandra Louise Cabot?"

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Jesus Christ, yes Elliot. And how the hell do you know Alex's middle name anyway?"

Olivia and Elliot were in the squad car staking out a perp's house early that Friday morning. By around 4 am, it was becoming fairly apparent that he would likely be a no-show, and now the pair were chatting and sipping on cold coffee to keep each other awake. Olivia had made the mistake of informing her partner that she had a date that evening and the male detective had soon pried more details out of his normally unrevealing partner – including her future company's identity.

At her question, Elliot shrugged. "I saw in on her diploma in her office." He turned to her and smirked. "What, are you jealous? Don't worry, Liv, there's nothing going on between me and our ADA. Clearly I would be barking up the wrong tree…"

Olivia exhaled, irritated. "First off, El, you're married. Second off, if you're referring to Alex not dating men, you're wrong. We're both… fluid I guess."

"But right now she is interested in a woman?"

"Yes."

"And that woman is you?"

"Yes Elliot, jeez."

"Hey, lighten up, Liv. We're just chatting. It's just – you and Cabot. God knows there was tension there…" He looked at the brunette, who was gritting her teeth at him. "… and now apparently." He wagged an eyebrow. "Maybe Alex can help you relieve some of that later."

Olivia's eyes widened in shock before narrowing into cross slits. "Elliot, if you do not want to lose a limb or some other appendage right now, I would _highly_ recommend you stop talking about my sex life."

Her partner laughed and held his hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay, no need to get violent." He paused for a moment. "Seriously Liv, I'm happy for you. This is good."

A look of insecurity replaced that of frustration on the woman's face. "You think so?" she asked softly.

Elliot turned to her. "Yeah," he affirmed with a small smile. "I mean, it's a conflict of interest and will probably messy – which I know the two of you are aware of…" Olivia nodded. "But like, I wasn't joking when I said there was tension there. There's always been something between you two even if you wouldn't admit it. I mean, it's Alex…"

Olivia smiled, looking down shyly. "It's always been, Alex."

Elliot slapped a hand on her shoulder, taking a look at the perp's apartment. "I'm happy for you, partner."

"I mean, it's just a first date. It could…"

"Liv, we both know it's gonna be more than a first date."

Olivia started to smile again. As much as she was nervous for the evening, Elliot was right. Becoming uncomfortable at the growing sincerity of the conversation, the detective let out a laugh. "I guess occasionally I can see how they promoted you to detective," she kid.

Elliot rolled his eyes. "Come on, let's head back to the precinct. This guy isn't showing." He put the car into gear. "Where are you taking her anyway?"

"Well, we were supposed to grab dinner after court last week until you and I got called out for that case in the Meat Market. There's a French place she wants to try…"

"Oh lá lá."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "So I figured we would go there. And then, I don't know, the weather is still nice out and all of the leaves are starting to change. I figured maybe we could take a little walk through Central Park if it's not too late out."

"Olivia Benson, who knew you were such a romantic!"

"If that's wild romance to you, I feel bad for Kathy."

Elliot clutched his heart in mock hurt as he stopped at a light near the precinct. "What are you wearing?"

Olivia quirked an eyebrow. "Would you know if I told you?"

"Hey, I have daughters. I know lady talk." Olivia glared at him but couldn't fully hide her grin at their antics. The pair pulled up to the precinct's garage. "Well, are you ready for a long day at the salt mines?"

Olivia sighed. "Can we stop at the street cart. I'm gonna need more coffee?"

Elliot nodded as they headed towards the vendor. "It's a shame you can't call it a day. Rest up before your night out. Could've been a late one…"

"I will be," Olivia deadpanned.

"Oh?"

Olivia stopped and smirked at her partner. "You've seen Alex. I don't think mustering up energy for a very, _very_ long night will be a problem." Turning quickly to continue to saunter towards the cart (and to hide her blush), Olivia could feel Elliot's grin on her back.

"Benson, you dog!" he called out cheerfully.

~*~*Page Break~*~* Page Break~*~* Page Break~*~* Page Break~*~* Page Break~*~*

Olivia was nervous. Stomach churning, she dabbed on the last bit of her mascara and took a look in the mirror. _Not bad_ , she thought to herself. The detective was wearing a black sleeveless dress with a modest v-neck that revealed the very top of her lace-clad cleavage. It was knee-length, and she had pulled on a black jacket for the mildly chilly early autumn night. Her hair was blown out and straightened, accented by two simply dangling gold earrings. She had opted for minimal makeup as well – just some shimmery eye shadow, a bit of mascara, and sheer lip gloss. She was slipping on her black pumps when she heard a knock on the door.

The sight awaiting her left the detective's mouth dry. Alex stood in front of her in a tailored sleeveless red lace dress. While it had a high neck line, the sides of the dress had two small cutouts revealing a taste of the attorney's toned abdominal muscles. Her long legs were bare, elevated by a pair of black stilettos that Olivia hadn't seen before. For as much time as she spent with Alex, the blonde seemed to own even more shoes. Alex's hair fell in loose blonde waves, framing a naturally made-up face and a wide grin.

"Hey," she greeted, her voice slightly nervous.

Olivia swallowed in an attempt to regain her voice. "Hey back," she said with a shy smile.

The two stood there staring at each other for several moments, both clearly anxious.

Alex finally forced a small chuckle. "This is silly," she observed, noting their awkwardness.

"It is," Olivia agreed.

"We see each other all of the time. We shouldn't feel nervous…"

"We do."

"But this is different," Alex noted, looking down bashfully.

Timidly, Olivia reached out and gripped the woman's fingers. "This is different," she agreed.

Squeezing the brunette's fingers and intertwining them with her own, Alex looked up and smile. "You look… absolutely stunning."

Olivia blushed. "And you look beautiful, Counselor."

"Shall we?"

"We shall."

~*~*Page Break~*~* Page Break~*~* Page Break~*~* Page Break~*~* Page Break~*~*

Dinner at La Mirabelle was delicious. Olivia had ordered a chicken dish and Alex had decided on lamb. Although they both enjoyed their meals, especially after loosening up with a bit of champagne, neither came close to finishing their plates, both still filled with nerves and anticipation.

Conversation, however, was enjoyed by both. Whether it was banter or serious conversation or even silence, Olivia never felt anything but fully comfortable in Alex's presence. Nor did the two ever run out of anything to talk about. After Alex insisted on paying the check and the two forewent dessert, they left the restaurant politely stifling laughter at an anecdote about Olivia's early days in the academy that the detective was telling.

"After that I learned pretty quickly to pack my own lunch," Olivia said between giggles. "Although I've truly never been able to look at a hot dog the same way again."

Alex laughed. "I haven't been able to since I watched a documentary on Dirty Water Dogs."

"Oh those are still the best though!" Olivia exclaimed.

"Not after you see a petri dish with swabs from their water," Alex disagreed with a grimace.

Olivia smirked. "No dirty water dogs," she said, shaking her head in mock dismay. "You may try to act all New Yorker, Counselor, but under that veneer is a true Boston girl."

Alex bit her lip. "Ah damn, I've been had. That's what I get for surrounding myself with detectives," she joked, placing a hand on Olivia's shoulder.

The brunette shivered at the touch. "Um, you wanna go for a little walk?" she asked, gesturing towards Central Park. "I was here the other day. The trees are amazing right now even at night."

Alex smiled. "I would like that."

The two women started to walk, close but never quite touching. They chatted at first, but soon fell into a comfortable albeit tense silence. Figuring they weren't apt to run into anybody they knew, Olivia took a deep breath and dared to brush the back of her fingers against Alex's, gaging her response. Much to Olivia's relief, Alex looked at her and smiled before tangling their fingers together for the first time since they left Olivia's apartment.

"Oh wow, that is gorgeous," Alex said when they reached the Turtle Pond, gesturing at the autumnal trees and how the soft evening light illuminated the water.

Olivia, on the other hand, continued to look at Alex. "Absolutely beautiful," she breathed. Sensing the detective's gaze on her, Alex turned to face Olivia, whose brown eyes were filled with nothing short of what would be described as pure love. Moving her gaze from the woman's eyes to her lips, Alex felt her breath shorten and heart pound with anticipation. Cautiously, she placed a pale hand on Olivia's cheek and wet her lips before leaning in and closing the distance between them with their first kiss.

Olivia's lips were soft and plump, flowing effortlessly over Alex's. The detective's hands moved from her sides to Alex's waist, and she gently tugged the attorney closer to her. Not just minutes, not just a night, but years of anticipation began to flow into that kiss, which quickly became heated. Alex pulled back, body still pressed against the brunette's as she looked into her eyes. "Take me home?"

~*~*Page Break~*~* Page Break~*~* Page Break~*~* Page Break~*~* Page Break~*~*

The women walked quickly to the 5th Ave side of Central Park, electing to take a taxi to Alex's apartment on 74th to both take a load off of their heeled feet and to expedite their trip. In the back seat of the cab, Olivia ran her fingers lightly over Alex's knee. The blonde shivered as she traced them higher as they rode, the detective getting to the hem before stopping when they reached their destination. They quickly paid the driver and gave him a generous tip before walking quickly to Alex's building, where they were greeted by her doorman, Ernie.

"G'evening Ms. Cabot. Ms. Benson," the older man nodded. He smiled when he noticed that Alex had her hand on the small of Olivia's back. Although she hadn't been living there all too long, over the past couple of months Ernie had noted that there seemed to be something more than friendship between the blonde resident and her occasional visitor. And he was glad to see that the two women had decided to act on whatever that was.

"Hello Ernie," the couple greeted with smiles.

"You two have a _lovely_ evening," he say, pulling open the door and trying to suppress a mischievous grin.

In they had registered his entendre, neither woman showed it. In fact, they seemed to be captivated with only one another. "Uh thanks, Ernie!" Alex finally replied. "You too."

Once they reached the elevator and it closed shut, all subtleties were lost. Alex was leaning against the wall, and Olivia turned to face her, giving her a playful and predatory look. Soon her mouth was on the blonde, both women's hands groping at one another frenetically, yearning to fell each other's bodies under what still felt like too many clothes. Only the ding that they had arrived on Alex's floor broke them out of their amorous haze. Alex grinned and grabbed Olivia's hand, leading her down the hall to her suite. She couldn't help but fumble with her keys with the brunette detective's breath hot on her neck, hands slipping through the holes on her dress's side and fingertips gliding along her stomach.

Finally, Alex jiggled the handle and pushed the door open, Olivia following her. The brunette watched as the attorney closed the door behind them and turned the lock before turning and smiling. Although eager to continue their activities with the blonde, the reality of it all settled in and Olivia suddenly felt a bit shy.

Sensing a change in her counterpart's demeanor, Alex slipped off her heels and kicked them to the side before walking over to the brunette and kissing her softly. "You okay?" she asked anxiously.

Olivia nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, I'm just… nervous," she said, giving Alex a sheepish smile.

The blonde chuckled in commiseration. "You're not alone there," she said, grabbing the detective's hands, rubbing the pads of her thumbs over her small callouses.

Olivia cleared her throat. "I have – wanted to do this for a really long time," she admitted, squeezing Alex's hands.

"I'm pretty sure I've wanted to do this since the moment I saw you sitting at your desk in the 1-6." She smiled and freed one of her hands to tousle Olivia's hair. "Back when you had that butch haircut of yours."

Olivia chuckled, "You liked that one, huh?"

The blonde giggled. "Oh yes, I did. If I'm being totally honest, Detective, I sometimes imagined you with me after one of our fights, me propped up on my desk with my hands gripping your short hair and you…" she trailed off with a sultry smile, quirking an eyebrow. Placing her hands on Olivia's hips, she continued, this time more seriously. "Olivia, I would love nothing more than to take you into my bedroom and touch you all over and have you touch me until I'm screaming your name. But, if you aren't ready yet… or just want to wait, we don't have to do anything tonight," she said, blue eyes full of sincerity. "We can make out on my couch or just cuddle or I can call you a cab. We've waited so long to get here – we don't have to rush this if…"

Olivia cut her off with a gentle kiss. "You're right, we've waited so long," Olivia agreed. "And now… I want you to make love to me, Alex Cabot," she almost whispered.

Both beaming, Alex gave Olivia one last kiss before guiding her down the familiar hallway to the blonde's bedroom. Olivia kicked off her shoes as they headed to the bed in the darkness. Alex reached for the nightstand but paused. "Lights?"

"On," Olivia husked. "I want to see you." Alex flicked the lightswitch on before returning to Olivia's embrace, allowing the detective to pull her tightly against her slender but curvy frame. Olivia pressed her lips against Alex's, running her fingers up and down the blonde's sides. Turning the attention of her kisses to the expanse of her pale neck, the detective reached around and began fumbling with the zipper to Alex's dress. Alex turned, allowing the brunette better access and soon the red garment had fallen to the floor.

Olivia was stunned by the gorgeous site in front of her, the long expanse of Alex's perfect, creamy skin, the fringe of her flaxen hair brushing against her lithe frame. She couldn't see the front, but the back of Alex's ensemble suggested that she was wearing a white lacy lingerie set. Unable to form words, Olivia returned to her task of kissing the blonde's, running her lips down Alex's collarbone.

That's when she saw it. The puckered scar tissue. The exit wound. "Oh Alex," she breathed unconsciously, tracing her fingers along the edge of the scar.

The attorney shot around, crossing her arms and placing a palm over her shoulder, ashamed. Seeing that Olivia was on the verge of tears, she frowned. "I- I know. It looks bad."

Olivia furrowed her brow. Alex thought that she was upset for finding the scar ugly? The brunette shook her head rapidly. "No, Alex, God no. I -. Alex, you're so incredibly beautiful." She took a step forward and removed Alex's hand, leaning down to kiss the bumpy entry wound. "All of you. And you're back. You're here."

Alex finally looked at her, eyes full of unshed tears. "I'm not going anywhere." She kissed Olivia, reaching around to the brunette's zipper. "You're wearing too many clothes," she teased to lighten the mood slightly.

[M-rating here until page break]

Olivia chuckled as she stepped out of her dress, revealing an ample chest clad in a nude, lace bra and matching boy shorts. "Jesus, Olivia," Alex said reverently looking at the brunette fully. "May I?" she asked, her fingers on the latch of the brunette's bra. She nodded.

Unsnapping the latch and discarding the garment, Alex gently guided Olivia back onto the bed before straddling her. Leaning down, she placed another kiss on Olivia's lips before turning her attention to the full breasts in front of her. Smiling, she took a dark nipple into her mouth, trailing her tongue around it to earn a gasp from the brunette. "Oh my god," Olivia sighed.

Alex used one of her hands to palm Olivia's other breast as she continued to suck on the other, leaving small love marks and goosebumps in her wake, her lover breathing heavily underneath her. She smiled when she felt Olivia's nails grazing the skin on her back. "Baby, I want to feel you," Olivia mustered at one point, fingers on Alex's bra. Releasing the front clasp, Alex allowed the top to fall to the side and Olivia grinned widely, taking both mounds in her hands and squeezing them softly, her thumbs moving lightly over Alex's nipples. With Alex still straddling her lap, she sat up, the blonde in turn wrapping her long, pale legs around her waist. The women shuddered as they each felt the other's fabric-covered core wet against their own. Olivia leaned down and pressed her tongue against one of Alex's pink nipples, eventually flicking it and feeling the blonde's lower half flood even more.

"Mmm," Alex moaning, gently tugging Olivia's head up and kissing her. Laying the brunette back down, the two then shed the last bit of their covering until they were both completely bare in front of one another. Physically. Emotionally.

With her hand resting on Olivia's hip, Alex kissed down her jawline, running her tongue around the shell of the detective's ear before whispering, "I want to watch you come."

Placing one hand on Alex's ass, Olivia slipped the other between their bodies until she reached a small patch of blonde curls. Alex matched her, fingering Olivia's folds with her right hand, her left toying with one of the brunette's breasts. They started to explore each other with their fingertips, learning this new map of each other's bodies. Some of their movements were awkward and fumbling. Others taught them some of their counterpart's most sensitive and erogenous parts. Alex had been intent on pleasuring Olivia first, making love to the detective until she reached her pick. But Olivia's hands… her mouth… on her body was driving her crazy. Eventually, she couldn't take it anymore. "Liv-, -Livia, please, inside," the blonde begged.

Running a finger around Alex's opening, the detective groaned at the wetness she found there before slipping two fingers into the attorney's waiting center. "Fuck," she moaned, curling them within the velvety sheath.

"Can I?" Alex asked, her own digits poised to enter the brunette.

"God, Alex, yes."

They started to move against one another. Rocking. Moaning. Panting. They kissed each other fiercely until they were gasping for air, both of their bodies getting closer and closer to the edge.

Alex had never felt so safe in the hands of another person. So completely and totally adored. She pressed her forehead against the detective's sweater brow, gasping out "Jesus, baby, I'm going to come."

Olivia used her free hand to grasp Alex's hair, cradling the attorney's head as she too began to become undone. "Me- me too. Fuck."

When Olivia's thumb moved inadvertently over her clit, Alex came completely undone, calling out Olivia's name like a mantra as her inner muscles clamped around the detective's fingers. That sight alone, that sensation, had the brunette following close behind her.

Dazed, the two women remained intertwined for several minutes as they each came down, returned from a place neither had quite been before. Finally coming to her senses once more, Alex gave Olivia a gentle kiss before rolling off to her side, facing the older woman. Olivia pulled her closer. "I've never – I've never felt like that before," Alex whispered, still awestruck.

Olivia leaned over and kissed her. "I haven't either, sweetheart." Smiling at each other, the two lay in comfortable silence – Olivia tracing her fingers along Alex's side, the blonde caressing the brunette's face. That wasn't the only time the two made love that evening. They continued to explore one another's bodies, experiencing new joys and pleasures. It wasn't until the early hours of the morning that both women, fully exhausted and satiated, fell into a restful sleep.

~*~*Page Break~*~* Page Break~*~* Page Break~*~* Page Break~*~* Page Break~*~*

 _Bring ring bring. Bring ring bring_.

The sound of her cell phone jostled Olivia out of the depths of her sleep. Accepting the call, she looked over at the woman lying next to her. Normally Alex wasn't a heavy sleeper – the brunette was well aware that more often she struggled with insomnia – so she couldn't help but smile when she realized that even the intruding noise hadn't stirred her. She hoped that meant that Alex was comfortable in her arms.

"Benson," Olivia greeted sleepily. "Yeah, yeah Cap'n. I'll be right there." Closing her phone, she sighed. Olivia wanted nothing more than to continue to lay curled up with the warm body next to her, the woman that – after last night – she was incredibly more in love with. Unfortunately, a little girl was missing, and Olivia knew she had to get down to the station right away. Placing a kiss on Alex's shoulder, she climbed quietly out of bed, gathering her clothing and slipping it back on. Hopefully with the present crisis, the other detectives wouldn't question her ensemble too much. Looking around, she located one of Alex's legal pads on her nightstand and jotted down a note to leave on her pillow, not wanting the attorney to think for a moment that she had run off.

 _Al –_

 _Captain called. Missing girl. I had to head to the precinct. Last night was nothing short of incredible. I cannot wait to see you again._

 _You're amazing, Alex Cabot._

 _Xoxo_

 _Liv_


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU

A/N: Happy New Year, everyone!

Baby New Year

Timeline: Takes place during Season 13 (December 2011/January 2012). Olivia (44), Alex (37), Mia (2)

Olivia was looking in the vanity mirror and fastening one of her gold earrings when she heard the pitter-patter of feet approaching her. Smiling at the familiar sound, she looked down to find her two-and-a-half year old daughter looking up at her, brown eyes wide.

"What you doin', Mommy?" the little blonde asked, swinging slightly on her black Mary Jane shoes to move her velvety red dress.

"I'm finishing getting ready for the party, Ladybug," the detective explained, snapping the backing to her earring closed.

"Wearin' jewels?"

Olivia chuckled. "Yeah baby, some jewelry." She picked up a small bottle of Chanel No 19. "And now just a little bit of perfume," she added, spritzing a bit on her wrists and rubbing it on the olive skin of her neck.

"Smell pwetty, Mommy."

"Thank you, Mia," the brunette said with a smile. "Do you want a little bit?"

Mia nodded her head enthusiastically, loose curls bouncing underneath a red ribbon. Olivia placed a small drop on each of the grinning toddler's wrists.

"I big girl!"

"That's right, Ladybug! You are a big girl," Olivia praised, scooping the little blonde up. "Do you know where your Mama is?"

"Bawthroom again."

As if on cue, Olivia heard another set of footsteps heading down the hallway to the master bedroom. A few moments later, a very pregnant Alex Cabot-Benson entered the room. The blonde was wearing a long-sleeved heather grey dress that hugged her large belly, wrapping flatteringly around her other curves in suit. With ankles ever swelling, the attorney had foregone her normal pair of stilettos the past couple of months and instead was wearing tweed grey ballet flats over a pair of black deco lace tights. Like their daughter, Alex's blonde hair was framing her face in loose curls and her make up – like always – was impeccable. Olivia smiled, stepping towards her wife in a silk, deep navy blue blouse and a pair of skinny black trousers. Her hair was pulled into a messy but stylish bun. Noting the height endowed to her by her black pumps, she smirked.

"What?" Alex asked, quirking her brow.

"I'm taller than you for once," the brunette replied with a devilish smirk, gesturing downwards at Alex's shoes.

Alex rolled her eyes, but before she could playfully retort, Mia cut in. "Mama, mama, smewl!" she exclaimed, holding out both of her wrists. The older blonde leaned over and inhaled, giving the little girl a smile. "You smell like your Mommy, Mia!"

"Mommy gaved me perfumes."

"Very, very pretty," Alex said, giving Mia a kiss on the crown of her head. "You smell pretty too, Mommy," Alex giggled, kissing her wife. "So are you two ready to go?"

The pair nodded. "We'll go grab our coats," Olivia replied, preparing for the brisk Manhattan winter night. About 30 minutes later, the family arrived at Detective Nick Amaro's home, where he and his mother Cesaria were hosting a New Year's Eve party. Originally, Olivia had told him that she was unsure of whether or not they would attend. Over the past several months, her new partner had grown on her; however with Alex's due date imminently approaching, she figured the attorney would prefer an evening in. That said, when Mia overheard that there would be a party at "Zara's house," she was overjoyed with the notion of spending time with the older girl, and Alex had assured the detective that she would be fine for a few hours.

After ringing the doorbell, the group was greeted by a jovial Nick, who was wearing a silly NYE's party top hat on his head, beer in hand. "The Cabot-Bensons!" he greeted with a smile, inviting the trio in.

Before he could say anything else, Zara shouted out from her position across the living room, where she was sitting with her grandmother. "Mia!" The six-year-old absolutely adored the toddler, helping "babysit" her while on a couple of playdates. "Come to my room! I got new Barbies for Christmas."

Mia looked up at her mothers, brown eyes eager. "Can I?"

"Of course, Ladybug," Olivia said, smiling as the little girls ran off down the hallway together.

"Well, now that the kids are off playing, time for the adult fun," Nick said with a grin, holding up his drink. "Liv, there's wine, beer, tequila… in the kitchen. And Alex…" he gave the attorney a humorously pitying look, "there's water, apple cider, soda…"

"Thanks Nick," the blonde replied. "After these past few months at the precinct, I'm eager for when I can have a drink again," she joked, earning a chuckle. The group walked further into the living room, greeting their friends. Fin sat on the couch with Amanda and Munch, watching the festivities occurring in Time Square on the flat-screen television. Cragen, meanwhile, was chatting with Cesaria and her neighbor, who had also attended.

A couple of hours later, Olivia was returning from checking on the girls, who had fallen asleep in Zara's trundle bed. She checked her watch. 11:35 P.M. Almost midnight. She was tired after a long week of work and imagined that Alex would be even more fatigued. Stopping in the kitchen to grab two glasses of Coke, the detective returned to the living room to find that her assumption was quite right. Sitting near Fin, Amanda, and Cragen but not quite engaged in their conversation, Alex was reclining in an armchair, eyelids drooping. Olivia placed the two solo cups on the nearby end table and leaned over to place a kiss on Alex's cheek. "Look like it's past someone's bedtime," she joked.

Fin chuckled, overhearing. "The counselor has put up a valiant fight. Seems like our company isn't entertaining enough for her high society tastes," he joked.

"Har, har, very funny, Fin," Alex replied, rolling her eyes but smiling in amusement. She looked up at Olivia. "I might have over-estimated my energy levels for tonight just a bit," she said sheepishly.

Olivia gave her a sympathetic smile. "Do you want to head home? Mia is conked out in Zara's room."

Alex shook her head. "No, it's okay. It's almost midnight. If we leave now, we'll miss the countdown. I just need to stand up for a little. Wake up."

She outstretched a hand and Olivia grabbing it, Cragen assisting the detective in getting Alex to her feet. The brunette then reached over a grabbed one of the soda cups, offering it to her wife with a smile. "Here, some liquid energy."

Alex grinned and look a sip, huddling against Olivia's side as the detective rubbed circles on the small of her back.

"So, y'all got any fun plans for the New Year?" Amanda asked, addressing the group.

"For me? A new year, a new set of headaches. I hope with less misgivings from you all than in 2011," Cragen said with a wry smile.

"You and me both," Alex agreed, earning a chuckle from the group.

"I'm thinkin' of finally taking the Caribbean cruise," Fin mused wistfully.

Across the room, Munch shook his head. "You've been saying that for the last ten years! That's less likely than any of my "conspiracy theories," he said, making air quotes with his fingers.

"Shut up, old man," Fin kidded back. "You'll be lucky if you make it through the year without a hip replacement."

"Hey, hey break it up, you two," a smiling Nick said drunkenly, holding up two arms between them. "This is supposed to be a nice group activity."

"What about you two?" Amanda asked, turning to Alex and Olivia.

The brunette smiled, placing a hand on Alex's belly. "Well, soon enough we'll have another little one. So I'm guessing that our new year is going to involve a lot of diapers, tantrums, and hopefully naptimes," she chuckled.

"Enjoy it, Liv, they grow up fast," Nick said nostalgiacally, thinking of how Zara was already in the first grade.

"Mi hijo is right," Cesaria agreed, "It seems like just yesterday that Nick here was in diapers," she said with a smirk, earning laughter from all and a blush from her son.

"Oh would you look at the time," Nick said with a smile. "Before Mamá here brings out the photo albums, how about we crack open this champagne and watch the countdown.

The group moved to stand closer to the television together, each with a champagne flute in hand (Alex and Cragen's full of apple cidar). They watched as Ryan Seacrest and Jenny McCarthy prepared the crowds to welcome the new year with festivities. Lady Gaga and Mayor Bloomberg pressed the button to begin the one minute countdown as anticipation rose in Midtown and in Nick's home. The large ball flashed various bright colors as it slowly descended from the top of One Times Square. As the crowd began to chant, so did the detectives and their loved ones.

 _Ten_

 _Nine_

 _Eight_

 _Seven_

 _Six_

 _Five_

 _Four_

 _Three_

 _Two_

 _One_

As the ball reached its destination and fireworks lit up the Manhattan sky, the room let out cheers of happy New Years', turning to hug one another. Clinking their glasses together, Alex and Olivia each took a sip of their drinks.

"Happy New Years, Cabot," Olivia said with a playful smile, leaning closer to the attorney.

"Right back at you, Benson," Alex replied, closing the distance between them and capturing Olivia's lips in a sweet kiss.

A few moments later, Olivia felt a burst of liquid against the top of her foot. Opening her eyes in confusion, she looked at Alex, who had an expression of shock on her face. "Did you spill your glass, Lex?" the detective asked, glancing at the woman's still full flute of cider.

"Um, no I didn't," Alex said, registering what had just happened. "Liv, my water just broke."

The brunette detective's eyebrows shot up her forehead. "Your water just broke," she repeated. "Shit, your water just broke!" By now, the ordeal had garnered the attention of everyone else in the room.

"Dios mío!" Cesaria exclaimed. "Quick, you two go to the hospital. We'll take care of little Mia."

Shocked himself, Nick nodded. "Yeah, you guys go! We'll take care of her."

"Thank you," Olivia said gratefully, looking around for their coats. Cragen held hers out before helping the attorney to shrug her own on.

"Let me give you two a ride," the older man offered, grabbing his keys. While Olivia had only had one drink and could drive, she appreciated the opportunity to give her undivided attention to Alex and thanked Cragen, who absent of she, Alex, and Cesaria, was the only sober person in the room.

The trio hurried out the door to wishes of good luck, careful to not slip on black ice as they reached the driveway. Luckily, the Amaros lived in Washington Heights, which was even further from the Midtown hecticness than the Cabot-Benson apartment, so they didn't hit much traffic as they headed south to Mt. Sinai. Regardless, Cragen put his flashers on, deterring other driver's from blocking their path. About 20 minutes and one phone call to the OBGYN later, they reached the hospital entrance. Cragen pulled into the drop off dock, opening the door for his detective and her wife, and Olivia helped the grimacing blonde out of the car. Although they had avoided any mishaps on their drive in, it was clear that this labor was going much faster than it had when Alex was pregnant with Mia.

Cragen made sure that Alex was seated in a wheelchair before wishing them well and heading back to his car, pulling it out of the tow-away zone. Soon, Alex was all checked in and in the maternity ward with Olivia at her side.

"Well, this one certainly knows how to make an entrance," Alex joked before groaning with another contraction.

Olivia smiled. "That's for sure." She placed a hand on Alex's stomach, finding it hard and tight. "How are you feeling?"

Alex warmed inwardly. Since the moment her water broke, Olivia must have asked her that same question a hundred times over. Her wife was normally nurturing and loving; however Alex also speculated that the extra caringness that she was expressing had part to do with the last time that she was in this position – when she and Olivia had lost their son.

Blinking away a couple of tears at the memory of their second-born, squeezed the brunette's hand to diffuse her worrisome look. "I'm fine, Liv. Truly," she said with a small smile. She winced as another contraction coursed through her system. "Well, minus the searing pain involved in pushing a tiny human out of my body," she added with a wry chuckle.

Olivia laughed, leaning over and pressing a kiss to the blonde's forehead. "I'm going to get Dr. Gil and have her check on you both," the detective explained. Alex nodded. She knew that the brunette felt that she had little control in this situation, so if having the doctor check in made her feel better, Alex wasn't going to argue. Besides, her attention was otherwise occupied with coping with the pain of labor.

Dr. Gil assuring the couple that both Alex and the baby seemed perfectly healthy, the women continued to anticipate the arrival of their child as the clock approached 2 am. By 2:05, Alex was fully dilated and ready to deliver. In the birthing position, with Olivia at her side, Alex followed Dr. Gil's instructions and began to push, face quickly becoming beat red from the pressure. She had forgotten just how much this hurt, considering her genetically narrow birthing canal. While she was relieved by Dr. Gil's consistent guarantee that the delivery was on course, after about a half hour of straight pushing, Alex was completely and utterly exhausted.

"I don't know if I can do this," she groaned as another contraction shook through her.

"Shh, sweetheart, you're doing amazing," Olivia said comfortingly, brushing some sweat-matted hair out of her wife's eyes.

"The baby is just about crowning, Alex. You're almost there," Dr. Gil said encouragingly.

Alex looked up at Olivia, whose eyes were starting to fill with happy tears. "Hear that, Lex? We almost have our baby."

Lost for words, Alex squeezed Olivia's hand, gripping tighter as another contraction hit her.

"Okay Alex, on the next contraction I need you to push hard. Okay. 10-9-8…" Much like the countdown only hours earlier, Dr. Gil continued to time Alex's pushes, this time signaling not the birth of a new year, but a new baby.

Soon, a loud cry was heard in the room.

"It's a girl!" Dr. Gil called out, holding the wriggling infant up to her mothers. Alex and Olivia both had tears in their eyes as they looked at their screaming daughter. "She certainly has a set of pipes on her," Dr. Gil joked. "Olivia, would you like to do the honors?" A nurse handed the detective a pair of scissors, and she proudly cut the umbilical cord.

Moments later, Alex felt the soft weight of the baby on her chest, awestruck as she ran a finger over the child's scrunched face.

"Hi baby girl," she greeted, tears flowing freely. Olivia grinned from her position next to the two, running a hand over the baby's hair.

"Hello, my love," the brunette cooed, kissing the baby's head. "Look Alex, she has brown hair," Olivia added in slight amazement.

"Just like her Mommy," Alex said with a smile, holding the baby closer. A few moments later, the nurses took the infant away for her physical exam, announcing that she was perfectly healthy, much to Alex and Olivia's relief. After the afterbirth was delivered and both Alex and the baby were cleaned up, the three settled in for the remainder of the night a little after 4 am. Although they were both exhausted, as they watched over the snoozing infant in Olivia's arms, neither woman could bring herself to sleep.

"I love you both so much," Alex said at one point, observing with contentment Olivia's look of affection for their daughter. "You both and Mia," she added, caressing the side of the brunette's face.

"I love you too," Olivia said with a warm smile, placing a kiss on Alex's palm. "Hey, this little one still needs a name," she added with realization.

"She certainly does," Alex agreed, allowing Olivia to place the sleeping child in her arms.

"I know we liked Caroline for the middle name… Is that still okay?"

Alex nodded. "Yes, I like that. Although we still are left with the issue at hand. She can't be Baby Girl Cabot-Benson forever…"

Olivia chuckled. "Remember when we talked to Mia about it? She said that she wanted to name her Tree."

"Oh that's right," Alex remembered with a laugh. "For some reason, I don't think we're bohemian enough for that."

"What about Sadie?" Olivia asked. "It means 'princess,' right? That seems fitting…"

Alex quirked an eyebrow. "We girls really have you wrapped around our fingers don't we, Olivia?"

Olivia chuckled, hiding a blush. "I plead the fifth on that, Counselor," she said, leaning down and giving Alex a kiss.

"Sadie Caroline Cabot-Benson," Alex mused. She smiled. "I like the sound of that."

"Olivia, Alex, Mia, and Sadie Cabot-Benson," the brunette tried.

"I really like the sound of that," Alex added with a smile before yawning.

"Then it's settled," Olivia affirmed. "How about we get a little bit of sleep? I texted Nick with the news so I have a feeling our other little rugrat will be here bright and early," she added with a grin.

"That sounds wonderful," Alex said, handing Olivia the baby. Completely exhausted, the detective imagined that her wife was fast asleep before she even reached the small basinet sitting by the window. Smiling, she looked down once more at their little daughter, whose eyes fluttered open briefly before she resumed sleeping. Bright cerulean blue.

"Goodnight princess," Olivia said, gently laying the bundle down in her cradle. "We love you so much." She began to turn but then paused. Looking over at the older blonde, whose eyes were closed in sleep, the brunette eschewed feeling a bit silly and continued to talk to the little girl. "My New Year's resolution is to take the very best care of you, baby girl. And show you and your big sister and your Mama all of the love in the world," she promised. "Happy New Years, Sadie."

From across the room, in her bed but certainly not yet asleep, Alex Cabot smiled.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU. This fanfic contains some dialogue from SVU episodes "Guilt" and "Competance"

A/N: First of all, I would like to offer the biggest thanks to everyone who has been favoriting, following, and reviewing this fanfic. It really does motivate me to want to write more and more, especially when I receive prompts. A special thanks to Akalittlered2, trace619, Chely99, phlyamchewlu, and Friends of the Seals for their consistent reviews and feedback!

This story is in response to the requested from Friends of Seals: "a case based story or something that insults the character of Trevor Langan"

TITLE

Timeline: Season 3, Episode 22 "Competence"

Rating: K+/T

"We can't arrest the bus driver until Katie tells us what he did."

Adjusting her holster, Olivia turned at the sound of the familiar voice, eyes meeting icy blue orbs. Alex stood in front of her, cup of coffee in hand. The detective dually noted the dark circles under the attorney's eyes that she had attempted with little avail to mask with concealer.

The past several weeks since the Cavanaugh case had been hard – particularly on Alex. The suspension that the blonde had received was one thing – honestly a slap on the wrist considering the moves that she had pulled by lying about having a search warrant. Olivia knew that her colleague and friend had been more deeply impacted by what had occurred, feeling personally responsible for Sam's traumatic brain damage. Even though some time had passed, Alex seemed different. Her dedication to the job had reached an almost frenetic level, and there were several times that Olivia had stopped by after a late shift to ask the attorney if she had eaten only to find Alex face down asleep at her desk. Despite the detective's prodding, Alex would "raincheck" dinner (for the umpteenth time), remaining at work until the wee hours of the morning. Olivia couldn't prove it, but she speculated that the attorney had even spent several nights sleeping on the small leather couch in her office, having worked too late to warrant the travel back home.

More and more, the brunette was becoming concerned at Alex's distance, her fatigue, and her thinning frame. But Alex had assured her time and time again that she was fine and not to worry, a small smile forced on her face. At this point, the detective doubted, much to her dismay, that there was much that she could do. And even though their friendship had taken a hit from whatever Alex was going through, Olivia gave her all to the cases at hand in the hopes that it would take some stress off of the attorney.

To alleviate Alex's present concern, she replied, "Elliot's got the mother on the phone now to see if we can talk to Katie."

"What have we got on this guy?"

"Ray Dunstan. He's 52. He's got no rap sheet, but the nursing home where he worked out in Glen Cove fired him last year for allegedly stealing from the residents," Olivia explained from her chair, Alex peering down at the file from over her shoulder.

"What wasn't he arrested?" Alex asked, mildly flabbergasted.

"Dunstan claims that the old folks gave him gifts," the brunette replied, shrugging her shoulders. "He picks the ones with dementia. Cops couldn't prove otherwise."

"We're all set for tomorrow," Elliot interrupted, hanging up his phone receiver.

"What'd you have to promise her?"

"A trip to the zoo," Elliot answered with amusement.

The next day, the trio arrived at the Central Park Zoo to meet Katie – a pregnant woman with Down Syndrome – and her mother – a protective older woman who believed that her child had been assaulted. While Elliot and Olivia had met the pair and had a sense of what to expect, Alex was herself slightly unsure. She had dealt with child victims before, but adult children and their parents were a whole other story. Even though Sam had been a teenager, she had recently seen just how different that dynamic was and the consequences that could result from a parent approaching the police for a reluctant child vic. Shuddering, she tried to push the thought of the Cavanaugh case out of her mind. Noticing the attorney's sudden shiver, Olivia looked at her, brown eyes full of concern. "Are you okay?"

Alex gave her a small smile. "Yeah, just cold," she lied, pulling her light grey coat closer to her thin frame. Olivia gave her a skeptical look but figured there wasn't much she could do right now as the three spotted Katie and her mother laughing near the sea lion exhibit.

"Hi Katie," the brunette greeted warmly.

"Hi Olivia. Hi Elliot."

"Katie, this is Alex," Olivia introduced, placing a gentle hand on the attorney's shoulder. She rubbed it subtly in an effort to soothe the attorney. She and Alex had become close, and the detective was very attuned to the blonde, so she was aware that Alex still seemed a bit uncomfortable. Alex mouthed 'hello' to Katie, an intentionally wide smile on her face as she waved. "The three of us are going to talk together, okay?"

As Katie's mom and Elliot had moved to some nearby, Alex took a seat next to the girl. She was glad that Olivia was with her, still slightly uncomfortable interviewing victims since what had happened with Sam. After all, something she had said or done must have triggered him that night. At least, that was what she anguished over every night, replaying the conversation in her head, eschewing any hopes of restful sleep.

"Katie, we just want to ask you a few questions," Olivia explained, taking the lead much to Alex's relief. The blonde watched as the slightly younger woman nodded. "So Katie, what do you say when you don't want to do something?" Olivia asked slowly, using the voice that she normal reserved for very young victims.

"I say 'No,'" Katie replied confidently.

"And can you say no to your Mama?"

Katie furrowed her brow and frowned. "I'm… not allowed," she said, shaking her head.

"What about to your teachers?" Alex asked, attempting to involve herself in the interview.

Katie turned to Alex, shaking her head once more. "Uh-uh."

Alex looked up to Olivia for reassurance before asking her next question, the brunette nodding. "Can you say it to your bus driver, Katie?"

"I… don't want to talk about him," Katie muttered, becoming clearly upset.

Alex decided to push her gently. "Why not?"

"Something will happen to Mama," Katie explained nervously.

Alex looked at her a moment, unsure of how to reply. Olivia bent down so that she was eye-level with Katie, brown eyes warm and comforting. "I promise you nothing bad is going to happen to Mama if you tell us what the bus driver did."

Katie paused for a moment, clearly thinking, before saying, "He took my necklace." Alex and Olivia continued to ask Katie more questions about the necklace and whether or not Katie had told anyone about the bus driver taking it from her. Olivia rested a hand on Katie's knee in an attempt to console her and Alex looked on stiffly as Katie described the bus driver pinching her and touching her butt and breast. Becoming less and less composed, the woman finally broke out into tears, calling out for her mother. Alex tried to place a comforting hand on her shoulder but she shook it off, her cries becoming louder.

"What happened?" Katie's mother asked anxiously, rushing over to the bench.

"I don't want to talk anymore," Katie sobbed.

"You promised not to upset her," the mother scolded, looking at Alex. The attorney blinked her eyes, forcing the image of Linda Cavanaugh screaming at her at the hospital out of her mind. She looked up at Olivia, who clearly noted her discomfort but had to attend to the situation at hand.

"She was very helpful," the brunette said calmly.

"Good. Because we are going to go home now," Katie's mom said resolutely, pulling her daughter into a hug before guiding her away.

"How'd she do?" Elliot asked once they were out of earshot.

"We didn't get enough to prove the bus driver raped her, but we did get plenty to get a search warrant for his apartment," Alex replied, steadying herself under Olivia's watchful gaze through a retreat into professionalism.

"I'll call Munch and Fin," Elliot said, pulling out his flip phone. "You heading back to the precinct?" he asked, turning to Olivia.

"Uh, you go ahead, El. I'll go with Alex and get the warrant." Her partner nodded before heading off, phone in ear. Olivia turned only to meet Alex's fiery gaze, her own brow furrowing in confusion.

"What Detective, do you not trust me to get a warrant anymore?" Alex asked icily.

Realization hit Olivia – Alex must have thought this was a slight about the Cavanaugh case. "Oh Jesus, no Al. You know that I trust you. I just… I wanted to make sure you were okay," the brunette continued shyly.

"I'm fine," Alex snapped, turning to leave.

Olivia reached out and grabbed her coat-covered arm, stalling her. "Alex, you know I know you better than that."

The blonde shuddered under Olivia's touch, forcing tears to remain at bay at her concerned tone. She breathed in heavily, not daring to make eye contact with the brunette. "I know you do," she said softly, covering Olivia's hand on her coat with her own. "I will be okay. But I really do have to talk to a judge about that warrant now. You report back to Cragen, okay?" she suggested, giving the detective a small smile and squeezing her hand.

Olivia sighed, knowing there was nothing more that she could do. "Okay."

~*~Page break~*~Page break~*~Page break~*~Page break~*~Page break~*~Page break~*~

Folded blue subpoena in hand, Alex strode out of 1 PP. She paused on the front steps, sighing and taking in a deep breath of brisk, cold air. Testifying on behalf of Katie's compentance. The attorney knew that doing so would be like shooting the horse that was Cheney's prosecution in the face. Still, however, Alex felt an obligation to defend the woman's rights and her agency, believing that the decision to terminate her pregnancy should be a choice that Katie made herself. Alex had seen just how damaging feeling disempowered could be to victims…

The blonde swallowed, pushing down the bile that always rose in her throat when she thought of Sam. And it was often – all too often. Her own decision-making was likely impacted by the lack of sleep that she had gotten over the past several weeks between insomnia and nightmares. She also knew that she had lost weight from not eating or from throwing up her meal when stress turned her stomach. To most, her change in demeanor had gone unnoticed. Liz had asked her about it bluntly once, but it hadn't changed the attorney's ability to cope with the situation. And then there was Olivia…

As if on command, Alex suddenly heard the female detective calling out her name. "Hey, Alex, wait up!" Alex turned, meeting the detective's concerned face. The brunette bit her lip, unsure of how to proceed. "You rushed out pretty quickly…"

Alex nodded stiffly. "I have to go talk to Liz about how to proceed with this," she said, holding up the subpoena.

Before Olivia could reply, another voice interjected. "Alex. Looks like you have an interesting situation on your hands," Trevor Langan said with a smug grin.

"Trevor, to what do we owe the pleasure?" Alex asked sarcastically. In her position next to Alex, Olivia glared at him.

"Going to talk to my client. Abe Cheney."

"Cheney sure knows how to pick them…" Olivia sneered.

Langan ignored the slight. "That he does Detective. Although from the looks of it, this won't even be making it to trial. After all, your girl here consented."

"Katie was incapable of consenting to sex because she didn't know what it was," Alex retorted firmly.

Langan snickered. "Good luck with that argument, Alex. See what a jury has to think about that," he replied, heading towards the steps before pausing and turning back. "Although, you seem to have a knack for believing that victims can't make decisions for themselves. Poor Sam Cavanaugh – heard he's still in the rehab center. Not sure if you knew that, seeing as his mother took a restraining order out on you…" Olivia looked over at Alex, who was gaping, jaw steeled but her eyes growing glassy.

"Go talk to your client, Langan," Olivia growled.

Trevor chuckled, holding up his hands. "No need to get so protective over your blonde, Detective Benson. I just want to see if she herself is ready to stand trial. You haven't been looking well, Alex." With that, he turned and strode up the stairs, Olivia's fiery glare watching as he retreated into the building. A soft sob, however, caught her attention.

When Olivia rotated to face Alex, her own heart nearly broke at the sight. The attorney was choking back tears and was practically shaking. Looking around, the brunette noticed that the scene was drawing the attention of passersby. Knowing that Alex was a very private person, she placed a hand on the blonde's shoulder and began to usher her away. "Come on," she said softly, guiding Alex into a nearby alley.

The attorney was trying hard to compose herself but to no avail. Trevor's words – insincere as they might have been – affected her deeply in the ways that they echoed her own insecurities. Doubt and guilt flooded her.

"Alex. Al – " Olivia tried, placing both hands on the blonde's arms as she began to cry. "Shh, sweetheart, don't cry," she whispered, pulling her friend into a hug. Placing a hand on Alex's hair, she held the blonde as sobs wracked her body, reminding her of when the two were in the same position only several weeks ago…

 _5 weeks earlier_

 _Olivia watched as an extremely distressed Alex came bursting through the ICU doors, eyes looking around the room frantically._

 _"_ _He's still alive," Elliot reassured her as she approached the two detectives. "They're working on him now._

 _"_ _His mom found him. He asphyxiated," Olivia explained. "Don't know how long he stopped breathing._

 _Alex gaped at them. "How?" she almost whispered._

 _"_ _Aspirin and his antidepressants," Elliot replied before looking over her shoulder, noticing Linda Cavanaugh coming out of her son's room. Alex turned to follow his gaze, seeing the visceral pain and anger in the woman's eyes._

 _"_ _Get out of here," she snarled, fiery gaze directed at the young blonde. Elliot took a few steps forward, grabbing the woman as she lunged towards Alex. "Get her out of her!" Olivia pulled the blonde aside protectively as Linda thrashed in Elliot's arms. "Get out!" Linda's anger shifted to bitter tears. "Are you happy now? Is there anything else you want him to do for you? Get out! Get out of here!"_

 _Olivia quickly guided Alex out of the room for both women's benefit. They entered the adjoining corridor, and Olivia noted that Alex was shaking under her grasp. "Come on," she said gently, guiding the attorney into a nearby empty room and closing the door._

 _When they entered, for a moment, Alex just stood there, staring blankly and shaking. Olivia could see the motor's running in her friend's mind as the gravity of the situation settled. Suddenly, Alex broke into violent sobs._

 _"_ _Oh Alex," Olivia whispered before pulling the blonde into a tight embrace, cupping her head against her shoulder as tears fell onto her tan jacket. Seeing the attorney in so much pain was overwhelming, especially given her deep feelings for the blonde._

 _As Olivia rubbed a soothing hand over her back, Alex tried to speak. "I – I. This is all my fault," the blonde gasped._

 _"_ _Alex, sweetheart, this isn't your…"_

 _"_ _Yes, it is!" Alex replied sharply. "I – I saw how distressed he was last night. I told him Ray didn't really care. I – I drove him to this. Oh my God, Olivia," Alex lamented, her legs beginning to shake._

 _"_ _Alex, Sam had problems long before the case."_

 _"_ _I should have listened to him when he said he didn't want to proceed," Alex said, her determined blue eyes meeting Olivia's. She swallowed heavily. "I'm going to be sick…" The blonde's body wretching, Olivia quickly grabbed a nearby bed pan and held it under the attorney's chin, rubbing her back as she emptied the contents of her stomach. Once she had finished, Alex dissolved into tears again, and Olivia lowered her frail body to the ground, pulling her onto her lap. Knowing words weren't enough for Alex right now, that nothing could comfort the blonde, she just continued to hold her late into the night._

Olivia kissed the crown of Alex's blonde hair.

"I can't do this."

Pulling away slightly, the brunette forced Alex to make eye contact with her. "Yes you can."

The attorney shook her head, swallowing a sob. "No, I can't. I – I'm not cut out for this."

"Alex," Olivia began, resting a hand on the blonde's cheek. Had she not been so focused on Alex's pain, she would have been surprised at her own boldness in performing such an intimate gesture. "You are one of the most intelligent, talented, and passionate women that I know." When the blonde started to shake her head, Olivia continued. "It's true. You care about the victims. And that is why what happened to Sam Cavanaugh is so painful for you. But Alex, I promise you, it is not your fault. These cases – there's no right or wrong sometimes. We just have to live with that. And right now, the best thing that you can do is pursue justice for Katie. Because you're not just doing it for her. You're doing it for other victims too." She paused. "Alex, you're doing it for Sam."

~*~Page break~*~Page break~*~Page break~*~Page break~*~Page break~*~Page break~*~

"This clearly compromises the integrity of an ongoing criminal investigation," Elizabeth Donnelly said, hand on her hip. She looked down, glancing over the subpoena once more. "I'll make the subpoena go away."

Alex took a deep breath. "I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"It is if you want to take Katie Tolliver's rapist to trial," the older blonde said, standing behind her desk.

Alex moved to stand in front of her godmother. "Katie's mother wants her to abort the baby. Maybe that is something that Katie should decide for herself."

 _Sam Cavanaugh stormed away from her. "Sam, we can talk…" "No! I don't want to do this!"_

"You want to be a crusader for victim's rights go work for social services," Donnelly quipped back. "Your job is to prosecute crime."

Alex bit her lip. She truly did not believe those two things were separate. To prosecute crime without considering victim's rights was in no way justice. Steeling herself, she took a seat in front of Donnelly's desk. "Katie has already been victimized once. My testimony can prevent her from being victimized a second time."

Donnelly looked at her unamused, arms crossed. "You represent the people of the State of New York, not Katie Tolliver." She lowered herself into her own chair. "Whether Katie gets to keep her baby is between her and her mother."

"I do have a duty to the victim," Alex replied. She was unwilling to back down on this, and Olivia's words rang in the back of her head. _You're not just doing it for her. You're doing it for other victims too. You're doing it for Sam_.

"To convict her rapist," Donnelly interjected. "She's found competent, you're going to lose. Cheney's lawyer will get her to say she knew what she was doing, that she liked it. He'll destroy her on the stand. Don't let this happen."

 _"_ _Are you happy now? Is there anything else you want him to do for you?_

"I hope that you're wrong."

~*~Page break~*~Page break~*~Page break~*~Page break~*~Page break~*~Page break~*~

The trial concerning Katie's competence itself did not complete. After both Alex and George's testimonies, Katie took the stand. Seeing her daughter in tears over the defense attorney's interrogation, Rebecca Tolliver called the ordeal off, surrendering her guardianship. Now, Katie was standing at her side ready to enter one of the interrogation rooms, her mother watching through the other end of the double-sided glass in full support.

"What she doing here?" Cheney asked as the two entered the room, both looking determined.

"You do have the right to confront your accuser," Alex replied cheekily.

Trevor chuckled. "Yes, it would seem Ms. Cabot is a fan of that," he replied snarkily, referencing having Sam try to talk to Barnett while wearing a mic. "Not a word, Abe," the male attorney then instructured.

Alex retained her composure. "The DNA results came back. Congratulations, Mr. Cheney, you're having a boy," she said with a sarcastic smile.

Now Trevor looked slightly nervous. "We'll take sexual misconduct."

Alex chuckled. "No way your client walks on a misdemeanor."

"Come on, Counselor, you don't want to embarrass Katie in court," Trevor began. "Or yourself," he added with a smug grin. "She never said no. She enjoyed it. She kept coming back for more."

"Here's what I'm offering," Alex began, looking proudly at Katie, who glared confidently at Cheney. "One count of Rape Two for Katie. He does ten years."

"We'll take our chances in court," Trevor replied, moving Katie to the side.

"Thought you might say that," Alex continued, opening a file one the table. She spread out an assortment of photos.

"Now what are you up to…" Trevor muttered disgruntily.

"Recognize any of these?" Alex asked Cheney with a smirk, showing him the images. The perp grew pale and Trevor stilled. "These are children you fathered with women who worked at your markets, three of whom were underage at the time. We went through your financials, Mr. Cheney. You've been paying off the mothers for their silence. Now you're going to pay a lot more," she added, handing a document to Trevor.

"A petition for child support?"

"Five more on the way from the other mothers. That's six kids. Each receives 17% of your chain of grocery stores, your personal fortune, and everything you own. Your money is going to take care of Katie and her child for the rest of their lives." Trevor stalked off, clearly recognizing that their case was screwed. He leaned against the wall, unable to meet Alex's eyes.

"We'll take the plea."

Several minutes later, Alex and Katie met Rebecca, Olivia, and Elliot in the corridor.

"Katie, you did great!" Olivia praised as the woman hugged her mother.

"Thank you, detectives. Ms. Cabot," Rebecca said with a smile before guiding her daughter down the hall.

When they left, Elliot turned to Alex. "Congrats, Counselor. You had Cheney pissing himself. Trevor too I think," he added with a smirk before going to find the Captain.

Olivia smiled and placed a hand on Alex's suit-covered bicep. "You did great, Alex."

Alex returned a grin. "Well, I couldn't have done it without you and Elliot finding out about the other women. Thank you."

The two were quiet for a moment. "Um, I was thinking of having a night in. Watching a movie or something. We're all caught up here. You interested, Counselor?"

Alex smiled. "That sounds nice." As the two began to walk down the corridor, Alex stopped them. "Do you think we could maybe stop and get food on the way? I haven't been eating much lately. I want to change that," she asked bashfully.

Olivia smiled, overjoyed that her friend seemed to be on the mend. "You betcha."


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: So sorry for not updating in a while! The semester has started so I have much less free time for writing non-school related things. This is a two-shot for Valentine's Day. Please review and let me know if you have oneshot ideas for future chapters!

Messy Hearts, Part 1

Tossing a file off to the side of her desk, Alex exhaled heavily, massaging the bridge of her nose. While she enjoyed her position as Bureau Chief of Manhattan Homicide, managing a group of ADAs – most of them newly-minted – was a challenge. A challenge that currently had her up to her head in appeals.

To make matters worse, it was Valentine's Day. While neither woman would openly admit it, both Alex and Olivia had a bit of a soft spot for the holiday, and the blonde enjoyed having an excuse to lavish her wife with a little bit of extra romance. She had been looking forward to taking Olivia out that evening to the lieutenant's favorite Italian restaurant followed by a trip to the theatre, but now she was concerned that she wouldn't complete her deadlines in time. While Olivia would never make the blonde feel bad for canceling, she knew the brunette would be disappointed, and the thought of that motivated Alex to forge ahead on her assignments.

Just as she was scrawling a draft of a motion that was due later that afternoon, however, the attorney heard a knock on her door. "Come in," the woman indicated.

Alex's assistant, Macey, popped here head into the room, an apologetic look on her face. "I'm sorry to interrupt, Ms. Cabot. I know you didn't want to be interrupted this afternoon" Macey began, nervously brushing a lock of her brown hair out of her face.

Alex, although still caught off guard by the intrusion, couldn't help but soften. She gave the younger woman a nod. "It's okay, Macey. What's going on?"

The assistant cleared her throat. "Your daughter's school is on the phone. They said that they needed to speak to you."

Instinctually, Alex felt her heart begin to race. Like most parents, the blonde couldn't help but worry that a daytime phone call from school meant that something was the matter with one of her children. "Transfer their call to my phone," she instructed Macey, who nodded a quickly returned to her desk. Moments later, an incoming call reached Alex's receiver, and she diligently picked it up. "This is Alexandra Cabot."

On the other end of the line, Alex heard the voice of her daughters' principal, Mrs. Hannigan. "Hello, Ms. Cabot. I'm sorry to interrupt you at the office."

"No need to apologize," Alex replied quickly, eager to know if her children safe. "Are Mia and Sadie okay?" she asked, trying to keep her tone even.

"Both of the girls are not injured or sick; however Sadie was brought into my office several minutes ago with a situation. Would it be possible for you and your wife to come by to discuss? I know you both have hectic schedules…"

"I can be there in about thirty minutes," Alex replied, glancing at her Apple watch. "I'll call Olivia and ask her to meet me there."

"Very good. Thank you, Ms. Cabot."

Alex furrowed her brows. "What exactly is the situation…"

"Just a… " the principal paused, seemingly to find the words. After a moment, she continued "…negative interaction with another child. It would be best to explain the whole thing in person."

"Okay, thank you, Ms. Hannigan."

"I will see you shortly, Ms. Cabot."

Alex clicked the receiver closed, grimacing. Although it seemed a bit silly, she couldn't help but feel like she herself was being scolded by the principal. A part of her, she realized, shouldn't have been surprised to receive such a call. Not too long ago, at parent-teacher conferences, Sadie's pre-school instructor, a young girl Alex almost doubted was old enough to teach, had politely and kindly as possible indicated that their daughter was quite the handful in the classroom. Alex and Olivia had been completely shocked. When it came to their eldest, they had only ever received positive remarks – that Mia was polite, attentive, and helpful. If anything, this year, her teacher Mr. Carls had said that his only concern was that the first-grader seemed to be too good, and that he worried her perfectionist streak was becoming unduly stressful.

Unlike her sister, Sadie had always been boisterous. Far from shy, the little brunette always seemed to grab the attention of whoever was around her, whether it was through telling stories or showing off dances or being plain loud. That said, before she entered pre-school, Sadie had never been misbehaved. Although exuberant and occasionally mischievous, she did listen to her mothers' and other caregivers' instructions when she was asked to settle down or obey the rules. At parent-teacher conferences, Alex and Olivia had been shocked – and deeply embarrassed – to learn that Sadie had thrown a couple of tantrums, that she refused to cooperate with her school "buddy," and that she seemed to be daydreaming during her lessons. The couple had spoken to the girl that evening about her behavior and had received a bashful apology. They had hoped that this would spur a change in behavior, but now that the principal was calling, it appeared that things were only escalating.

With a sigh, Alex grabbed a couple of manila files and her briefcase, carrying them with her as she exited her office and locked the door. Hearing the click of her boss's heels, Macey sat up sharply. "I have to go to the school briefly. Can you please give these files to Rossi and Steele and tell them that I need these motions completed by 3 pm?"

"Sure, Ms. Cabot," the brunette replied, taking the files. "Is there anything else that you need?"

"No, but thank you, Macey. I should be back soon, but I will have my cell phone if needed."

Exiting into the hall, Alex picked up the aforementioned device and dialed her first speed-dial. A couple of moments later, she heard her wife's voice at the other end of the line. "Benson."

"Hey, Liv."

"Hi sweetheart. Sorry, I didn't look at who was calling before I answered. What's up?"

"I know the precinct is swamped, but do you happen to be free right now?"

"Umm, yeah, I can be. Is everything okay?"

Alex sighed. "Well, Ms. Hannigan called…"

"Are Mia and Sadie okay?" Olivia interrupted, her voice clearly anxious.

"Yes babe, they're both fine safety-wise. But umm, she said something about Sadie being in her office and there being a situation with another student. I don't know the details, but she asked that we should come in to discuss."

"Are you leaving your building now?"

"Yes, just heading out the doors," the blonde replied, stepping out into the brisk autumnal air.

"Meet me by the car? I'll have Fin hold down the fort."

About a half hour later, Alex and Olivia strolled up the steps to the Martin School. While the couple had debated about sending the kids to public school, ultimately they had decided upon a small private school in Greenwich Village given its focus on giving individualized attention to each and every student. Olivia knew that Alex – although generally speaking down-to-earth – did have a slightly elitist streak when it came to education. The brunette figured that Alex saw the Martin School as a foundational platform that would allow their kids to pursue an Ivy League education if they decided to do so. The detective had liked the Martin School, particularly because they had the children engage in a lot of creative learning like arts and music. Although the hefty tuition never ceased to leave a little hole in the pit of her stomach, Olivia had decided the pros outweighed the cons, and Mia had started attending Pre-K there two years prior.

When the couple arrived and were buzzed into the building, the children in the lower school were just completing lunch and filing back to their classrooms. Mia, standing in line with her classmates as they proceeded down the hall, noticed her parents and looked up at them curiously. "Mommy? Mama?"

"Hey Ladybug," Olivia greeted with a smile, leaning over to give the girl a kiss on the head. Mr. Carls, from his position at the head on the line, gave the trio a smile and nodded to Mia that she could step to the side and greet her mothers.

"What are you guys doing here?" the little blonde asked, brow furrowed.

"We are here to speak with Ms. Hannigan," Alex explained, leaning down and giving her daughter a hug.

A look of fright crossed Mia's face. "Am I in trouble?"

"No, not at all, sweet girl," Olivia said, reassuring her. "Nothing to worry about. You head back to class and enjoy the rest of your day."

Mia gave the pair a skeptical look, clearly not believing that her mothers would come to school in the middle of the day if there wasn't a problem; however knowing that she had to get back to her room, she nodded and gave both women a hug, swapping 'I love yous' before she hurried back down the hall.

"I only wish that we weren't here because of trouble," Alex said, giving her wife a grim look.

The brunette placed a hand on the small of her wife's back as they proceeded towards the main office. "Well, technically we don't know what happened. Let's just go and see," she said, opening the door.

Upon entering the rooms, they were greeted by the office assistant, who led them to a set of chairs outside of Ms. Hannigan's office. Sitting in one of the over-sized arm chairs was Sadie, whose eyes were downcast at her swinging feet, dejected.

"Hi Sadie," Olivia said, taking a seat beside her. This caught the little brunette's attention, and she looked up at her parents nervously.

Alex bent down in front of the child. "Sadie, what happened, sweetheart? Are you in trouble?"

The girl moved to reply before her lower lip began to quiver. To both women's shock, she began to cry.

"Shh, baby, it's okay," Olivia soothed, wrapping her arm around Sadie. She looked at her wife with concern, an expression that the blonde returned. Before they could further inquiry what was making their daughter so upset, however, the family was led into their meeting.

Olivia walked warily into the office, Alex following close behind holding Sadie's hand. The room had a large mahogany desk surrounded by a couple of bookshelves and framed children's painting. Across the room Ms. Hannigan – a prim older woman who the lieutenant had once joked looked like the matron of a finishing school – sat in a tea chair. In her company around the coffee table were an irate couple and their son, who had an ice pack pressed against his eye.

"Lieutenant Benson. Ms. Cabot," Ms. Hannigan greeted with a nod. "Thank you for making the time to come in. I know that you both have busy work schedules. Please, join us," she added, gesturing towards an unoccupied couch.

The woman crossed the room, noting the tension in the air, and allowed Sadie to sit between them on the couch. Alex noticed that their daughter's eyes remained trained on the ground, not daring to look at anyone in the room.

The little red-headed boy, however, scowled at Sadie before turning to his father. "Daddy, can we go? My eye hurts."

The man wrapped his arm around the boy's shoulder, nodding to his wife. "Of course, Kevin." Rising from his seat, he looked to the principal. "Ms. Hannigan, thank you so much. We trust that you'll handle this accordingly."

"Have a good day, Dr. Edwards. Mrs. Edwards. And feel better, Kevin. We hope to see you tomorrow."

"We'll probably keep him at home," Mrs. Edwards, a small blonde-haired woman replied. "The bruise is just terrible," she lamented, glowering at Sadie. Noticing her daughter flinch, Alex wrapped a protective arm around the little brunette, casting a glare back at the mother.

Olivia, wary of Alex's fiery temper when it came to the kids, placed a comforting hand on her wife's knee, encouraging her to stay calm. Upon witnessing the gesture, Dr. Edwards scoff. "Come on Bridget, Kevin. Let's go get some ice cream." With a few more icy glares, the family left the office, leaving the Cabot-Bensons in front of a stiff-sitting Ms. Hannigan.

"Well," the older woman eventually began, breaking the tense silence, "I'm sure you gather by now that we had an incident today between Kevin and Sadie. Sadie, would you like to tell your mothers what you did?"

Sadie's blue eyes widened nervously, and she bit her lower lip, slinking back against the couch seat. "I- I hit Kevin in the eye."

Alex exhaled heavily. Although she had of course gleaned that Sadie had injured her classmate, hearing her daughter admit it left no room for denial.

"Sadie, why did you do that?" Olivia asked, placing a finger under the girl's chin and gently guiding it upwards.

Sadie paused for a moment, hesitant. "Sadie, you need to tell us what happened," Alex prodded. "You know that hitting is not okay…"

"But he was making fun of me! Making fun of you…" Sadie replied before stopping abruptly.

The blonde furrowed her brow. "What do you mean he was making fun of you? And us?" Sadie, however, seemed reticent to share what had happened and instead burrowed her face into the attorney's side.

"It is to my understanding," Ms. Hannigan began to elaborate, "That there was a bit of discord between Kevin and Sadie during art class." The grey-haired woman opened a manila folder and slid a piece of paper across the table, as though it was evidence at a crime scene. Both Alex and Olivia looked down at the drawing. It was a piece of pink construction paper with messy red and white painted hearts and haphazard patches of glitter. Scrawled in Sadie's handwriting was a message: "HAPPY VALƎNTINƎS DAY MOMS. XOXO SADIƎ."

Olivia couldn't help but smile at her daughter's artwork, especially her trademark backwards "E"s, a letter of the alphabet she hadn't quite been able to master writing yet. After a few moments, however, the lieutenant remembered the present situation. She looked up at Ms. Hannigan. "I'm not sure that I understand. What does Sadie's picture have to do with any of this?"

Against her side, Alex felt Sadie let out a small sob, and she looked nervously over at Olivia. Ms. Hannigan gave the three a sympathetic smile. "To my understanding, when Kevin saw that Sadie had addressed her Valentine's picture to her mothers, he made a remark about how this made him uncomfortable, and then Sadie hit him."

The older brunette's mouth gaped open. On the one hand, she was appalled that her five-year-old daughter was already having to confront homophobia from another pre-schooler. Another part of her, however, was also slightly confused. Boisterous as she might sometimes be, it wasn't like Sadie to be physically violent, even when someone was unkind. She and Alex had focused on teaching the kid's to be respectful of other people's bodies as well as their own, and to understand that hitting and kicking was only acceptable if they were in danger. Olivia placed a hand on Sadie's shoulder, gently pulling her out of Alex's embrace. "Sadie, sweetheart, is that what happened? Did Kevin make fun of your picture because you have two moms?"

Sadie whimpered before nodding. "He- he said that it was gwoss that I have two moms and no dads. And he said I am a fweak and that two girls shouldn't be in love or they'll be in trouble."

Olivia's head shot up at Ms. Hannigan. "Did you address this behavior with Kevin and his parents? Do they know that Kevin was harassing Sadie?"

Ms. Hannigan pursed her lips and nodded. "Yes, Michael, Karen, and I discussed Kevin's statements, and we all agreed that he needs to keep these feelings to himself while at school. But that is no excuse for physical altercation…"

"But he wouldn't stowp," Sadie murmured.

"What do you mean, baby?" Alex asked, smoothing the little girl's hair.

Sadie looked up at Ms. Hannigan, who was frowning, nervously. "I asked and I asked Kevin to stop saying mean things about you and Mommy and me but he wouldn't. And I asked Ms. Emily if I could has a new buddy and she said no."

Alex and Olivia looked at Ms. Hannigan accusatorily. The older woman cleared her throat. "According to Sadie's teacher, there has been some… tension for some time now. Kevin and Sadie were assigned to be "buddies" at the beginning of the school year. Kevin has been making his discomfort with Sadie's… well, your family situation known. Sadie's teacher has been trying to get the two children to understand that people have different experiences…"

"Well clearly that hasn't been working," Olivia interrupted with a growl. "Alex, can you take Sadie outside please," the brunette asked, as calmly as she could muster. Alex nodded and led their daughter out of the room, leaving a very uncomfortable Ms. Hannigan in their wake.

"Lieutenant Benson, I understand that you are upset that Sadie has had to deal with these comments. It upsets me as well. We expect tolerance for all of our students. But hitting is never the answer to teasing…"

"No, it isn't," Olivia shot back harshly, "However you didn't leave Sadie with many other options. If this has been going on for some time now, why is this the first time we are hearing about it?"

"It didn't seem as though the situation had escalated to a point that warranted parent involvement. Not until today."

"Oh, so, you're saying that it's fine that our four-year-old has to deal with hearing homophobic remarks about herself and her family day in and day out. To the extent that it is making an otherwise well-behaved child act out. And that doesn't warrant parental involvement? That it makes more sense for her teacher to tell us that she has behavioral issues than to explain that her playground buddy is a bigot."

"I'd hardly say a pre-schooler can be a bigot, Lieutenant…"

"Well I'd say you clearly aren't in the position to be making that judgement," Olivia snapped back, standing up.

"At the end of the day, our school cannot condone violent behavior like kicking or punching."

"Look, I am sorry that Kevin was hurt. As much as he is saying hateful things, he is a child and likely is just regurgitating things that he hears at home. And Alex and I have never instructed any of our children to use violence unless they are in physical danger. But from my perspective, Ms. Hannigan, what you're dealing with is a four-year-old who tried to stop a confusing and painful situation, who was told that she couldn't change the situation, and who was at her wits end. I know this might surprise you, Ms. Hannigan, but the City is far from being a hate-free place. And if that is difficult for adults to understand, how on earth could you expect a preschooler?"

Ms. Hannigan was silent for several uncomfortable moments. She nodded. "You're right, Lieutenant Benson. And I am sorry. We made a mistake by not addressing this sooner. I cannot condone Sadie's behavior; however she is a good child, and I think she had learned a lesson about not hitting. The Edwards might not be pleased, but I do not plan to discipline Sadie beyond having this conversation."

Olivia forced herself to take a breath. "I appreciate the apology, Ms. Hannigan. But that doesn't erase the underlying issue at hand, which is that my daughter is being harassed by her classmate and that the school has done nothing to stop it from happening. I am not going to jump to any decisions, but Alex and I will have to discuss if this is a healthy place for our children to attend."

Ms. Hannigan nodded solemnly. "I understand, Lieutenant Benson. I do hope you will continue to send Mia and Sadie to the Martin School. You have raised two wonderful daughters in spite of the hardships I imagine that you have encounters as a… as co-parents. I will have a discussion with Sadie's teacher about addressing any issues in the future appropriately."

The brunette nodded half-heartedly. She knew deep-down that this was not an issue that would likely be resolved – especially with a reticent administration fearful of upsetting more conservative-leaning parents. Olivia politely excused herself from the office, finding Alex and Sadie waiting nervously outside. The brunette forced a soft smile, holding up Sadie's artwork. "What do you two say about heading home and starting Valentine's Day a little bit early?"

To be continued.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: As a reminded, Alex returned from WPP after Ghost in the "Always You" universe. She and Olivia began dating during Season 7, around the episode 911. The flashback in this chapter is from Season 7, Episode 11 "Alien."

Messy Hearts: Part II

When Alex guided Sadie out of Ms. Hannigan's office, the little girl understandably seemed very shaken. And it broke the blonde's heart. While experience in her personal life, let alone her job, had taught her the ingrainedness of people's bigotry, she had naively hoped that her children would not have to experience that part of the world – at least when they were so young. Up until this point, she and Olivia had been lucky. A glare here and there from passersby on the street who saw the young family, some confusion from sports coaches when they "thought Mia's mom was brunette." All fairly harmless moments when it came to the kids witnessing any type of judgment about their parents. This, however, was different. This was painful.

As she sat with Sadie in one of the armchairs, pulling her daughter onto her lap and kissing the crown of her brunette curls, Alex allowed her mind to wander back to another time where a child was the victim of senseless homophobia – a case that had left a deep mark on the blonde at the time.

 _December 2005_

 _A thirty-one year old Alex Cabot adjusted her pencil skirt for the umpteenth time, straightening out any nonexistent creases of the grey fabric. She rolled her eyes at her own ridiculousness. In the fifteen minutes since Olivia called, she had spent time fixing her make up, adjusting her hair, and toying with her suit._

 _Although they were working off of a deeply cultivated friendship, the couple were still in a bit of the honeymoon stage, only having been dating for a couple of months. Alex felt as though she had been floating on Cloud 9 over the past several weeks. Judging from the confused looks she was receiving from her colleagues as to the normally stoic attorney's elatedness, she gathered her change in demeanor was evident those around her, and she just hoped that Olivia herself realized how happy she was._

 _With the ping of her Blackberry, Alex checked the device and found the object of her affection's name on the screen. "Hey Al –Can u come to 1 PP? Sry for the change in plans. Xoxo Liv." The attorney couldn't help but smile. Even though this was clearly a work-related matter, her heart swelled at the simple "Xoxo" her lover had included. "God Cabot, you've got it bad," she thought to herself before grabbing her briefcase and heading towards the precinct._

 _Several minutes later, she arrived at the 1-5, where Olivia and Elliot were waiting to brief her on the case of a young girl, Emma, who had stabbed one of her classmates in the back with scissors after his relentless bullying about her mothers being lesbians._

 _"Sean must have really scared Emma. She's a good kid. She's never been in any trouble until now," Olivia explained, grabbing her leather jacket off of her desk chair._

 _"Who's prosecuting her case in family court?" Elliot asked as he gathered his own things._

 _"New guy. Garrett Gillespie," Alex replied, arms folded. "I've never met him, but he's supposed to be a hard ass," she added with a sigh._

 _Before the detective could respond, the attorney heard Olivia's voice call out a woman's name, and she turned to see one of Emma's mothers walking into the precinct, lawyer in tow. "We weren't expecting you until morning," the female detective greeted, approaching the pair._

 _"Well, I figured we'd beat the commute," Zoe's attorney, Roger Kessler, replied sardonically before handing Alex a document. "Motion to suppress Emma's confession."_

 _Alex furrowed her brow, glancing at Olivia, who was equally confused. "On what grounds?"_

 _"Your detectives interrogated a minor without the parent present."_

 _Alex scoffed at the response, and Olivia cut in quickly. "Emma's mom is a patient at Clinton Hospital. We questioned her in the presence of her other mom, Zoe Dunlop."_

 _"Kate Boyd is Emma's biological mother," the man explained. "And despite Zoe and Kate's 10 year partnership, the law doesn't recognize Zoe as Kate's wife or as Emma's mom. She never adopted her."_

 _Both women gave the pair an incredulous look. Olivia, on her part, was becoming irritated. Why would this woman delegitimize her relationship with her daughter any more that the public, especially Emma's Catholic school, would try to._

 _Elliot, in an effort to keep the peace, stepped in. "Fine, she's not Emma's mother. She's still her legal guardian while Kate's in the hospital."_

 _Kressler nodded. "De facto attorney, yes. But the state doesn't afford her the right to make decisions for Emma. She's no more her parent or guardian than a babysitter would be._

 _Olivia's mouth gaped open. "You raised Emma ever since she was born," the detective began with incredulity. "How can you say that you're nothing more than a babysitter."_

 _"I should have legal rights over Emma," Zoe replied simply. "But I don't. So why should I claim them now when it can only hurt her?"_

 _"The confession's out," the male attorney confirmed. "If you wanna talk to Emma again, you go through me." The two left, leaving the confused detectives and ADA in their wake._

 _"Welp," Elliot said with a frustrated sigh, "There goes that case."_

 _"Maybe it's for the best. After all, Emma is facing jail time. Zoe is just looking out for her," Olivia offered sympathetically. She met Alex's blue eyes, which were stormy with imperceptible emotion._

 _Elliot shrugged. "We can see what we can do but I doubt we'll get another confession now that the lawyer's involved. Anyway, I'm going to head home. The twins have been driving Kathy up the wall today. Have a good evening, you two," he said with a smile before heading out of the precinct._

 _Olivia exhaled, looking around to make sure that she and Alex were alone before placing a hand subtle over Alex's, where it sat on the detective's desk. Because it was so early in their relationship, they had yet to disclose to their respective bosses, although they both knew that was a quickly-approaching conversation to be had. Elliot had pried the information out of his partner, whose happy demeanor he had read like an open book; but he had promised to keep the pair's relationship to himself, only going so far as to offer Alex the traditional "big brother" intimidation talk one afternoon over a dirty water dog._

 _"Want to get out of here," the brunette detective asked the woman, stroking a thumb over her long, elegant fingers._

 _Alex, lost in her own thought, nodded and pushed herself off of her girlfriend's desk, following her out of the precinct._

 _The pair headed to Olivia's apartment, where they curled up on her couch with some Thai takeout for a relaxing winter evening. Having put on a romantic comedy, the two didn't discuss the case or work for a while, content to be in each other's company. That said, Olivia could tell that something was weighing heavily on the blonde's mind – a topic that she dared to broach later when the two were in bed._

 _"Hey, are you okay baby," the detective asked her unusually quiet girlfriend, placing a kiss on one bare ivory shoulder._

 _Alex forced a small smile. "Yeah, I'm sorry. Just tired," she replied, curling closer into the brunette's embrace._

 _Olivia quirked a skeptical eyebrow. "Sweetheart, I'm a detective. I know when something is bothering someone, especially you. We don't have to talk about it if you don't want, but I'll here for you," she comforted, caressing the side of Alex's jaw._

 _The intimate gesture and heartfelt words made a bit of the attorney's wall crumble, and she felt her own eyes tear as she looked into Olivia's warm brown orbs. Never had she been with someone who she felt cared about her as deeply and genuinely as her current girlfriend._

 _Alex let out a sigh. "I'm just bothered by the case. What's happening with Emma. I know it's silly…"_

 _"It's not silly," Olivia replied gently, leaning over and placing a kiss on her girlfriend's forehead. She then remained silent, encouraging the attorney to continue._

 _"It's just – she's just a little girl. And while I'd never wish harm upon a child, even a bully like Sean, I just—How is it fair that Emma be expected to deal with all of that."_

 _"It isn't fair," Olivia agreed sympathetically. "Especially because the school could have prevented this from happening."_

 _"I just can't stand people like that. People who don't see the—harm that they're causing. My pa— " the blonde stopped suddenly, uncomfortable. She hadn't yet told Olivia about her upbringing, and honestly wasn't quite ready to in spite of how much she trusted the brunette. Luckily, Olivia didn't prod her, and instead wrapped her tightly in her arms._

 _"We just have to hope that someday the world will change. That the Emmas of the world won't have to deal with this bigotry once people start to understand."_

 _Alex sighed, breathing in Olivia's scent to comfort her. "Sometimes I just wonder if it's worth it. If it's fair to bring children into a situation like that." Against her, she felt the brunette almost imperceptibly stiffen. Alex knew that the detective loved children and someday wanted a family of her own. As much as the attorney hoped that she would be the woman making those decisions with the brunette, she also recognized that it was way too soon into their relationship to have a serious conversation about the matter. Quickly, she moved to change the topic. "I'm sorry for being such a buzzkill tonight," she said, pulling out of the detective's embrace and giving her an apologetic look._

 _"It's okay, baby," Olivia replied. She gave her girlfriend a playful smile. "Plus I seem to remember that we had a lot of fun this evening," she joked, wiggling her eyebrows._

 _Alex let out a laugh, the loud chortle that Olivia loved. "I seem to remember that too, Detective," she added flirtatiously before moving to straddle the brunette, running her fingers tantalizingly over olive skin. "Are you too tired for some more?"_

The jolt of the doorknob turning broke Alex out of her thoughts, and she stood, scooping Sadie into her arms. Exiting Ms. Hannigan's office, Olivia gave the pair a small smile. "What do you two say about heading home and starting Valentine's Day a little early?" she asked, holding up Sadie's art project.

* PAGE BREAK * PAGE BREAK * PAGE BREAK * PAGE BREAK * PAGE BREAK * PAGE BREAK *

The trio headed back to their townhome for the rest of the afternoon. Olivia had Lucy pick Mia and Noah up from school and daycare a few hours later, not wanting to disrupt the other children's schedule. Plus, right now the women wanted to spend some time with Sadie.

When they arrived home, the little brunette looked up at her mother's nervously. "Should I go to my room for getting in trouble," she asked quietly.

Olivia gave Sadie a soft smile before crouching down in front of her. "You're not in trouble, sweetheart. How about you, Mama, and I go have a talk in the living room?" she asked. "Can you meet us in there?"

Sadie nodded, a look of confusion on her face. But she withheld her questions at present, scurrying off into the other room. Olivia stood, exhaling heavily as she looked at her wife. "Are you sure it's okay that you don't go back into the office? I know you had a lot on your docket…"

Alex nodded before giving her wife a smirk. "Lucky for me, one of the underlings has a crush on me. Steele said that he would stay late and finishing filing the last motions."

Olivia laughed, placing her hands on the blonde's hips. "Willing to do your mounds of paperwork. Should I be worried about you having an office romance?" she joked.

"Been there, done that, Detective," Alex quipped, referring to her early romance with Olivia. "You're the only Valentine for me."

"Glad to hear it, Counselor," Olivia said, giving her wife a quick kiss. "How about we move our Valentine's Day plans to this weekend? So we can spend some time with the kids?"

"That sounds good, Liv," the blonde replied truthfully. "I don't want to leave Sadie." She paused. "Although maybe we do not have to postpone _all_ of Valentine's Day. Once the kids are asleep, that is," she added slyly.

Olivia felt a pulse of heat run through her at what she speculated the blonde's plans were; but, knowing her daughter was waiting for them, she pushed the thought to the back of her mind for now, leading her wife into the living room.

Sadie was sitting on the couch, playing with the hem of her shirt nervously, lost in thought. When she saw her mothers enter the room, she blurted, "I'm sowry for hitting Kevin. I know it was bad. He just wasn't stoppin'."

Olivia sat next to the little girl, kissing her on the head. "We know you are sorry, princess. But we also know that you that you tried to talk to your teacher about Kevin being mean to you, and that was the right thing to do."

Alex joined them, taking the little girl's hands in her own. "Hitting Kevin was not the right thing, Sadie. But we trust that you will not do that again."

"I is not in trouble?"

"No, baby," Alex confirmed, shaking her head. "You are a good girl, and you tried to do the right thing when Kevin was being mean to you. We just ask that next time you tell me and Mommy if something like this is happening. So we can help you."

Sadie looked down, her face full of sadness. "I didn't wanna hurt your feelings 'cause Kevin was sayin' mean things about your and Mommy."

Alex felt her heart break in her chest, and she blinked back a couple of tears before their daughter could see them. Placing a finger under the girl's chin, she waited until the girl's blue eyes met her own. "Sadie Caroline Cabot, your Mommy and I love you, Mia, and Noah more than anything in this whole world. And we are here to protect you no matter what. So you can always, always tell us when you have a problem, even if you think it will make us sad or mad. We will always be there for you."

Sadie nodded. After a moment of contemplation, she asked, "Why did Kevin say that two girls bein' in love is bad? Or that you will get in trouble?"

Olivia combed her fingers through Sadie's curls. "Unfortunately, princess, some people can be very mean, and they do not understand that it is normal for two boys or two girls to date or be married. But the only thing that matters is that two people love each other very much…"

"Like you and Mama?" Sadie interrupted.

Olivia smiled, looking at Alex. "Yes, baby girl, like me and Mama. And because some people do not understand, sometimes they will say very mean things or try to hurt people who are gay. But your mom and I and you and Mia and Noah have so many people that love us very much. And those people will stand up for us when people are mean."

"So I won't get in trouble if I love a girl?"

"Not at all, princess," Alex said, squeezing one of her daughter's hands. "Your Mommy and I will love you and support you no matter who you are in love with."

"I think I love Edward," Sadie began pensively. "He giveded me his jello last week and I asked him to be my Valentine today."

Olivia quirked an eyebrow while Alex stifled a chuckle at their daughter's remarks. "Did he say yes?" the detective asked.

"Yes, and then he gived me a kiss." Before Olivia's eyes could pop out of her head, the four-year-old reached into her pocket and pulled out a Hershey kiss, much to her mothers' relief.

"What do you say we make some Valentine's Day cookies?" Alex asked. "And then you can bring one to Edward at school tomorrow?" Olivia shot her a glare for encouraging their daughter's "dating," a look that Alex dismissed with a roll of her eyes.

"Okay!" Sadie said bubbly.

"Go on and wash your hands, Sadie. We'll meet you in the kitchen." When the little girl had left, Olivia gave her wife a playful scowl. "She has a Valentine."

"Aww, look at you being all protective," the blonde teased, hugging her wife.

"I guess Edward is too young for me to interrogate him," the detective grumbled. After a moment, she looked at Alex more seriously. "Do you think she'll be okay?"

Alex nodded. "She's strong. Plus she can pack a punch just like her Mommy apparently."

Olivia chuckled, before pressing a kiss to Alex's forehead. "Well, she gets her feistiness from her Mama." The lieutenant looked deeply into her wife's eyes, looking for any indication of despondency. Alex had look rather upset when they had left Ms. Hannigan. While both women were heart-broken that their daughter had her first encounter with homophobia, the brunette knew that situations like this also reminded the blonde of the struggles that she had been through with her own upbringing. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Alex replied, giving her a soft smile.

"You sure?"

The attorney nodded. "As hard as it is and as much as I wish it didn't have to happen, I know that seeing all of the hate in this world will just make them want to love more. And we'll be there to support them every step of the way."

"We will."

Alex grabbed her wife's hand and gave it a squeeze, leading her into the kitchen where their daughter waiting to bake cookies for her Valentine. Entering the room, she walked over to the counter and picked up Sadie's picture, hanging it up on the fridge. She turned and gave her wife a smile with a twinge of solemnness. "And hopefully, one day, the world will change."


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: Sorry for the lack of updates, everyone! I am in school and work so sometimes writing time is few and far between. A request from AlbinoGhostBear: Cabenson wedding night

Alex's dress: "White" Lace and Beads Wedding Dress by Vera Wang (VW351291)

Olivia's dress: Mariska Hargitay's wedding dress

Rating: Mostly T with M towards the end of the chapter (there's an in-text note before that starts so you can read up to that point if you want).

I Can't Help Falling In Love With You

 _February 20, 2008_

 _Olivia (40), Alex (33)_

Olivia Benson looked out at the room and smiled, happy to be surrounded by the people in the world that she cared most about. In fact, happy didn't even begin to cover it. Like many, growing up Olivia fantasied of getting married in the future. Having been raised in a home with a single-parent – and more so in a physically and emotionally abusive household – the idea of having one that was full of love and with a life partner seemed deeply fulfilling. It was likely one of the reasons why she got engaged to someone much older than her when she was 16. It was an escape.

By the time she entered the academy, however, and especially after she started working at SVU, that all changed. More and more, Olivia became "married to her job" and the idea of having a human partner seemed less and less likely. While she still wanted a family, she also felt dutifully bound to being a detective, and ultimately she had convinced herself that at the end of the day, maybe that was enough.

But then she met Alex. Even for the many years during which they were just friends, Olivia's heart truly belonged to the blonde, which is why it had been so utterly devastating when she was told the blonde had succumbed to a gunshot wound during the Velez case. And why her world shattered when Alex entered WPP, even though the brunette thanked gods she wasn't sure she believed in that the woman had survived.

When Alex returned and the couple got together, Olivia was sure that the blonde was the love of her life. Despite the hardships, the difficulties, the clash of their very strong personalities, she had never felt such deep care, admiration, and comfort for or with another person. So when Alex had purposed to her less than a year prior, even though the detective was at first speechless there was no doubt in her mind to say "yes."

As she continued to watch the guests at hers and Alex's wedding reception, she felt a pair of lithe arms wrap themselves around her midsection, and she grinned more widely, relaxing into the embrace as she felt her new wife's lips brush against her neck. "Having fun, baby?" Alex husked into her ear.

Olivia turned and nodded unnecessarily. The pure happiness was legible on her face. She leaned in to press a kiss to Alex's lips. "How about you, Mrs. Cabot-Benson?"

"Mhmm," the attorney sighed contently, resting her hands on Olivia's hips. "Although I certainly am tired. And these heels are killing me," she added with a smirk, gesturing towards the four-inch stilettos that she was wearing.

Olivia took a moment to look Alex up and down. The blonde looked stunningly beautiful. Her dress was a lace, ivory Vera Wang number that fit her slim frame perfectly. While the upper half of the dress was very traditional, including long sleeves fit for a winter wedding, the inner lining of the bottom half ended right at Alex's mid-thigh, the remainder of her long legs visible under a lacy train. Her makeup was simple but gave her fair skin a porcelain glow, and her hair was styled into loose blonde curls that felt upon her shoulders. Olivia, on her part, was wearing a full-length, strapless Caroline Herrera dress that had a form-fitting bodice but a flowing train. Her hair was tied back into a low bun, revealing the length of her neck, the frame of her collar bones, and the muscular build of her upper back. She had opted for a natural make up look, one that Alex loved for the way it showcased the brunette's natural beauty.

"Well, I certainly hope that you are not too tired for later," Olivia replied with a smug and playful smile. "Because I have plans for you, counselor."

Alex chuckled. "For you I can always muster the energy. Speaking of, let's go dance. I want another chance to show off my beautiful wife."

The detective smiled goofily at Alex's word choice. Wife. Alexandra Louise Cabot was her wife. She sincerely doubted she would ever tire of saying that.

Hands intertwined, she allowed Alex to lead her back out onto the dance floor where _Push It_ was playing. Many of their friends were out there. Among the crowd was Elliot dancing with Lizzie and Dickie, who feigned embarrassment about their father's dancing but were clearly enjoying themselves. Melinda and her husband were nearby, as were Huang and his boyfriend. As they proceeded onto the dance floor, Alex's Aunt Evelyn squeezed the younger woman's arm, grinning. She and Judge Harriman were of the small number of the much larger Cabot clan who had actually attended the wedding, but they were clearly enjoying themselves greatly. Alex smiled back before turning and wrapping her arms around Olivia's neck, giving her another kiss before starting to dance.

Unlike some of the slower songs they had danced to together earlier, including their first dance to "I Can't Help Falling In Love," the upbeat rhythm of the Salt-N-Pepper song obviously warranted for a different sort of dancing, one that Olivia also appreciated. While it differed starkly from the ballet she had learned as a child, Alex was a talented dancer generally speaking, and the detective certainly enjoyed watching her move. She laughed along with her wife as the two bounced along to the rhythm, smiling at their nearby friends. She almost lost it when she saw Elliot begin to do the robot, much to his daughters' humiliation; however her attention was soon redirected when she felt Alex's body pressed up against her, turned so that her ass was pressed against Olivia's front as she grinded.

Biting her lip to temper her growing arousal, the brunette placed her hands on Alex's hips, matching her dancing and enjoying the moment. In the midst of last minute wedding planning, she and Alex hadn't actually had much time to themselves over the past week, nor had they been intimate given their exhaustion from the extra hours they both were doing so they could have some time off for their honeymoon. With a smidge of traditionalism, the detective had also insisted on spending the prior night at Elliot's so that she wouldn't see Alex until she was walking down the aisle. While they had certainly spent the night apart before, this had been different and had both women anxiously sleepless like children on Christmas Eve. Olivia had missed the feeling of Alex's body against hers, and the emotion of the day didn't help in quelling her libido.

Olivia pressed a lingering kiss on the blonde's shoulders, caught up in the moment. When she looked up, however, she was met with the gaze of John Munch, who's jaw was slack as he watched the pair. Olivia rolled her eyes. "Go get some punch, you pervert," she yelled at him playfully, the older man giving her a smug wink.

The entertainment from their beloved friends and family only grew later on in the evening after dinner and many drinks had been had. After spending more time on the dance floor – including a dance between Alex and her uncle and Olivia and Cragen, both of their surrogate father figures – the group gathered for another set of traditional activities: the garter and bouquet. Elliot had been horrified when college-aged Maureen caught the bouquet and turn to give her boyfriend an awkward and sheepish grin, and the situation only became more laughable when it was time for the garter.

After shaking her head at the wolfish whistles of the squad, a blushing Olivia slipped her hands under Alex's dress, sliding them up the attorney's legs until she reached her destination. Knowing Alex's dress was tight-fitting, she opted against teasing the blonde too much lest it be noticeable, but she was sure to brush her fingertips against the other woman's core as she fumbled for the garter. She grinned at Alex's subtle but sharp intake of breath and the dampness that she had felt on her wife's lacy underwear. Standing up with prize in hand – a satin blue garter – the detective wrapped the band around her finger before sling-shoting it towards where the eligible men had gathered. No one could contain their laughter when they looked over and saw the garment had landed in none other than Munch's hands.

"Don't even think about it, John!" Elliot yelled with a smile, standing protectively in front of his daughter.

"Don't worry, Stabler, I'm not in the market for Mrs. Munch number 5," the man replied, walking over to Maureen's boyfriend, Aaron. He placed the garter in his hands. "Enjoy your dance, young man," he said with a smirk, Aaron and Maureen's faces both growing beat red along with Elliot's.

After the cake cutting and a bit more dancing, the masses began to clear out, all giving Alex and Olivia their well-wishes. The couple, for their part, was exhausted and eager to head upstairs to their hotel room at the Refinery Hotel. Although the day had been a celebration of their partnership, they of course hadn't spent all too much time just together, having been caught up in hosting, socializing, and participating in all of the wedding festivities. Both women were excited to finally have some substantial time alone as a married couple, especially given their hopes for the remainder of the evening.

As they rode up the elevator to their suite, neither woman could stop smiling at the other. The tension was palpable, anticipation having built throughout the night. Olivia leaned in an captured Alex in a tender kiss. Alex wrapped her fingers around the nape of the brunette's neck, cradling her head as she continued the kiss, only stopping when the ping of the elevator arriving on their floor startled the two.

Chuckling, Alex grabbed her wife's hand. "Shall we?" Olivia grinned widely, following Alex quickly down the hallway to their suite. Swiping her card through the door swiftly, the blonde gave the detective another kiss as they entered the room, allowing the door to swing shut behind them.

As quickly as Alex's were on hers, however, they were gone, and Olivia looked up in confusion as she felt Alex pull away. Alex smirked. "I'm going to go change into something more comfortable," she explained. Blue orbs captured brown with a playful glimmer. "Unbutton me?"

Alex turned and Olivia inhaled sharply as she began to unbutton the small, fabric-covered buttons that trailed down the attorney's back. She couldn't help but shudder as she traced her fingers down the attorney's fair skin. Just as Olivia's hands began to wander, however, Alex stepped away. "Nuh uh, detective. Not yet. I have a surprise for you." Giving the frustrated brunette another frisky smirk, she hurried off into the bathroom, grabbing a small tote bag on her way.

Olivia sighed heavily, become more and more impatient with every minute. The emotions coursing through her during the day only made her more eager to physically demonstrate the fullness of her love to her wife. As she waited for Alex, she removed unzipped the side fastening of her own dress, sliding it off before hanging it in the closet so it wouldn't get wrinkled. Wearing only a sheer, ivory strapless bra and matching panties that left very little to the imagination, she wandered over to the mini fridge and grabbed a water bottle. A moment after taking a swing of water, she heard the bathroom door open, and Alex clearing her throat.

Turning around, it took all of Olivia's will to not cough on her water at the sight in front of her. Alex was standing there in a light blue, lace lingerie set that matched the garter that she had been wearing earlier. The blonde flushed slightly as she watched the brunette run her eyes over her body in appreciation, and her own mouth dried at the vision that was Olivia standing in front of her. Alex licked her lips, taking a step towards her wife. "Had I known you were wearing this the whole time," she started, "I don't think I would have been able to make it through our reception without having you."

Olivia grinned, slinking her arms around Alex and pulling her frame flush against her own body, moaning slightly at the sensation of warm skin. "I would have had no willpower to stop you." She pressed a kiss against a pulse point on the attorney's neck. "You have no idea…" Another kiss. "Just how stunningly beautiful." And another. "And sexy you looked." And another. "All day. And how much I wanted you."

"I'm all yours, Detective," Alex husked as the brunette to bite at her neck, groaning with pleasure at the sensation. "And I need you."

 **[M-content below]**

Olivia kissed Alex firmly while carefully guiding her backwards towards the bed, the blonde hastily pulling Olivia's bun apart and running her fingers through long locks of hair.

Once they were on top of the king-sized mattress, Olivia straddled her wife, looking over her body. "So gorgeous," she breathed, leaning down to press several kisses across Alex's chest, her stomach, her cheeks. "I love you so much, Al."

Alex smiled widely, pulling the brunette into another languid kiss. "I love you more than you could imagine, Olivia Benson." The couple made out for several minutes, hands wandering, fingers brushing over each other's wedding night ensembles with appreciation. Without the brunette expecting it, Alex eventually flipped their positions.

Olivia quirked at eyebrow at the blonde sitting on top of her. "I thought you needed me," she teased.

"Oh I do," Alex replied. "I need to touch you. Everywhere."

Using her strength, the detective playful pushed Alex off of her, pinning her hands against the bed. "It seems like we've reached an impasse, Counselor. Because I don't think I could wait another minute to taste you."

Alex shuddered at the statement, a shot of heat going directly between her thighs just as the brunette intended. After a moment of contemplation, she grinned naughtily. "I think I have a solution to both of our problems, Detective." She leaned up to kiss Olivia before providing further instruction. "Turn around."

The brunette gave her a curious look. "Really? You want to do… that?" she asked, slightly flustered. They had tried the position a couple of times when they had first gotten together and had been experimenting, but it certainly had been a while.

Alex shrugged, her eyes still holding a playful glimmer. "Don't they say compromise is one of the cornerstones of a successful marriage?"

The detective chuckled. "I like the way you think." She moved to take off her panties before Alex stopped her.

"Let me."

The brunette nodded her assent, shuddering as Alex ran her fingers up her toned thighs before looping her fingers under the waistband of her panties. She slid them down, smiling as she noted the glistering of Olivia's arousal. Reaching up, she unsnapped Olivia's bra, allowing her wife to toss both articles off to the side. "So damn beautiful," she whispered, leaning in and taking one of the detective's dark nipples in her mouth while kneading the other full breast.

Olivia let out a moan, relinquishing herself to the sensation and reaching down to unfasten the blonde's bra, freeing her smaller, perky breasts. Using all of the willpower that she had left, she pulled away from the attorney's talented mouth, grabbing hold of her panties and sliding them down the woman's long legs. She gave Alex one more searching look, and the blonde nodded. Shyly, Olivia turned around, easing herself backwards so that her lower half was hovering over the anticipant attorney's face. With any other lover, Olivia would never feel comfortable being so vulnerable, fully open to another person without fear of loss of control or judgement. She trusted Alex with everything that she had.

Olivia grinned as she felt Alex place a few kisses across the back of her thighs, knowing the woman was growing impatient. Not in the mood for anymore teasing herself, she lowered herself down, becoming more aroused at the scent of the blonde. She eagerly ran her tongue through Alex's folds, groaning in pleasure as her wife mirrored the movements.

Things quickly became heated, and both women knew that neither would last very long. They had been anticipating this moment – the first time making love as a married couple – for quite a long time. Olivia gripped Alex's legs, circling her tongue against the blonde's clit. She almost lost it as she felt her partner tease at her opening before slipping her tongue in side. "Fuck, Alex," she cried out. "Fuck, baby, I want to watch you come."

Painfully at the brink, Alex allowed their bodies to separate only long enough for Olivia to turn around and intertwine their bodies once more. Feeling Olivia's wetness spread upon her thigh, Alex moved to place her hand at its source, rubbing against the brunette's core. Olivia, on her part, lowered her hand as well, running her fingers slowly through her folds, brown eyes dark with lust. "Liv, inside, please," the younger woman begged, crying out as the detective quickly slipped two fingers inside of her, curling them to hit the spot that she knew Alex loved most. Alex quickly slipped her own digits into her wife, coming closer to her peak as she felt the brunette's muscles begin to clench around her.

The two moved in perfect sync with one another, climaxes building deep within their cores, kisses hot and heavy, free hands tangling in each other's hair. Both came undone in the moments that they pulled away just to look at each other. Blue eyes meeting brown. Love deep and palpable.

They collapsed against each other's bodies, neither apt to move as the soaked in the moment. At first, words were not needed to recognize that what they just shared was significant.

Eventually Olivia broke the silence. "You're… my wife," she said quietly, a hint of awe in her tone.

Alex lifted her head from its position on the brunette's chest, kissing the woman and tasting the mix of their bodies. "That makes me the luckiest woman alive."

"Pretty sure I would fight you for that title, Counselor."

Alex chuckled before moving so that she was laying over the detective. She gently caressed the older woman's face, taking a moment to admire the person that she had fallen completely and truly in love with. "I'm glad you feel that way, Detective. Because this is a life sentence, no chance of parole."


	17. Chapter 17

Rating: PG

Timeline: December 2016; Olivia (48), Alex (42), Mia (7), Sadie (4), Noah (2)

Concerns and Company

Alex nervously drummed her fingers on the wooden arm of the chair that she was sitting in – a sound that in the stark quietness of the waiting area was a shrill betrayal of her nervousness. She took a moment to analyze her surroundings. The room was small and cozy, creamy yellow walls inviting and – at least in the attorney's opinion – oddly cheerful for the circumstances. The walls were adorned with some abstract paintings, which she could only associate with Rorschach. There was a small, leather sofa sitting under the room's large picture window, where Olivia currently sat with an equally anxious looking Mia. Alex, on her part, sat in one of the two armchairs nearby, right under the clock whose ticking she subconsciously timed her movements to. _Tick tap tap. Tick tap tap_.

"Al – Alex?" The sound of her wife's voice brought the blonde out of her trance, and the attorney looked up to meet a set of concerned brown eyes. The older woman turned her attention to their daughter. "Ladybug, how about you go play with some of the toys over there so Mama and Mommy can sit together for a bit?" With some hesitation, the little blonde nodded, scooting off of the couch and sitting on the ground across the room in front of a small collection of blocks, coloring supplies, and dollar store games. Once Mia seemed situated, Olivia beckoned Alex over, taking the formerly-tapping hand in her own. "Babe," she hushed, "I know you're nervous, but can you try not to fidget so much? I think it's making Mia more worried."

Alex sighed heavily. "I know," she replied quietly. "I just – How much longer do you think we'll have to sit here waiting?"

Olivia glanced over at the clock. "It's still a few minutes before 4. We did get here pretty early…" Alex had made sure of it. Always one for punctuality, an anxious Alex was even more apt to follow the adage that to be on-time was to be late, and the trio had arrived at their destination about 30 min before the appointment was scheduled to begin.

"I hope she's on schedule. You know how backed up doctors can get…"

Olivia wrapped a comforting arm around her wife. "I know baby. But look, there's plenty of toys for Mia to play with." Looking around, the brunette located a small stack of magazines. "How about you read something?"

Alex shrugged, and Olivia gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze before standing to join Mia, who was currently filling in a page of an animal coloring book.

In an attempt to distract herself, Alex decided to take her wife's suggestion and took a look at some of the titles next to her. Electing to skip over an issue of _Home & Garden_ and an outdated _Vanity Fair_ , the blonde's curiosity got the better of her, and she settled on an issue of _Psychology Today_. Flipping aimlessly through the pages, a title caught her eye. "Prescription Pandemonium: What You Need to Know About Medicating Your Child." Alex's eyes widened. Would Mia need to go on medication? She hadn't even considered the possibility. After all, she was only 7. Did they put kids on medication that young? Of course they did. But what about side effects. Instantaneously, Alex's mind flashed to the case of Joe Blaine, a boy only a few years older than Mia who had shot two of his classmates after beginning to take an antidepressant called Aptril. Immediately, Alex felt herself getting flushed with worry over the very thought of her daughter having any type of psychological side effects to a medication. Without even realizing it, she began tapping her foot on the wooden ground.

A few moments later, Olivia caught her eye, the brunette giving her a look indicating she was fidgeting again. That said, Mia's attention seemed to be focused elsewhere. Both women jumped a moment later when the little girl slammed the book she was drawing in shut, tossing it to the side.

"Mia, sweetheart, what's going on?" Olivia asked gently to the little blonde, who was visibly upset.

"I don't want to color anymore," she explained.

Olivia gave her a perplexed look. "Did you finish your picture? Let's see what you made, Ladybug…" the detective suggested, reaching for the discarded book.

Before she could grab it, however, Mia slapped it out of her hand. "No!"

Both women looked at each other, startled. Mia was a good-natured child, seldom anything but docile, so Alex and Olivia were shocked by her outburst. Standing up and heading across the room, Alex scolded the girl gently. "Mia, hitting the book out of Mommy's hand is not okay. Now come on, let me see the book." Alex held out a hand expectantly, and Mia's eyes filled with tears at her stern look.

"Al, maybe…"

The older blonde shook her head. "No, that's not acceptable behavior. Come on, Amelia, show Mommy the picture like she asked, please."

Looking down shamefully, Mia relented, flipping the book open to the page that she had been working on. She handed the book to the brunette without making eye contact, and both Olivia and Alex looked down at the page.

"Ladybug, this is beautiful!" Olivia said cheerfully, still unsure as to what was making their daughter upset. "Let's tear it out so we can hang it up when we get home."

Mia shook her head rapidly, and the women noticed she was rubbing the balls of her fists against her eyes to try to stop from crying.

"Mia, what's wrong?" Alex asked with concern, gently lowering on of her hands from her face.

The little girl's lower lip wavered for a moment before the floodgates opened. "I ruined it!" she cried out.

Olivia furrowed her brow, frowning at Mia's sadness. "Ladybug, this is a beautiful drawing!"

"No it—no it isn't," Mia sobbed.

"Baby, what do you think is the matter with it," Alex asked gently, pulling the little blonde onto her lap to comfort her.

"I – I got the orr-range outside the lines."

Alex and Olivia looked down at the coloring page. It was the drawing of a tiger at the zoo. Mia had meticulously colored within the lines, far neater than most children her age would have. That said, a bit of orange crayon had gone over from the tiger's fur into where the grass was.

"Mia, it's okay, sweetheart. Not everything has to be perfect. In fact, nothing is. That doesn't make your picture any less beautiful."

"Mommy's right, Mia," Alex said, hugging the little girl against her and smoothing her long blonde hair. "She and I love the drawing, especially because you made it!"

Mia sniffled. "Really?" she asked skeptically.

"Absolutely, baby," Olivia confirmed. "Hey, look at the wall! Those artists didn't think about drawing in the lines and they made beautiful paintings, right?" she asked with a smile.

Mia took a moment to look at the abstract painting and shrugged. "I guess…"

"Your Mama and I are so proud of you, Ladybug," the detective continued. "No matter what."

Mia exhaled, wiping a few more of her tears away with the back of her hand. "Okay," she said, not quite believing her mothers but too exhausted from the ordeal to continue. "We can take home the picture, I guess," she allowed, turning her attention to carefully tearing the image out of the book. Alex and Olivia shared a worried glance, unsure exactly of what had just taken place.

Before they could consider it alone much longer, however, an office door opened and Mia's new psychologist, Dr. Tiffany Adams, stepped out. She had been highly recommended to the family by George Huang, who was unfortunately unsure of how long he would be in NYC. "Hi everyone! This must be Mia," she greeted cheerfully. Alex and Olivia forced friendly smiles and nodded, entirely unsure of what the next hour had in store.

*Page Break *Page Break*Page Break*Page Break*Page Break*Page Break*Page Break*

"I can't believe that she wouldn't let us stay in there with them," Alex whispered harshly, running her fingers through her hair to keep her hands occupied.

"I know babe. But she's the professional… I'm sure she knows what she's doing."

The blonde shrugged at the response. "They've been in there for a while. Shouldn't they be done?"

"I don't know, Lex. Again, we just have to go with it for now. We can see how Mia feels about things when the session is over. See if we want to bring her back…"

"I guess," Alex said, sighing and grabbing her wife's hand. The couple waited for about five more minutes before the door opened once more, and Dr. Adams poked her head out. "Alex, Olivia? You can come on in. Mia and I have finished talking."

Alex and Olivia looked at each other nervously before standing and walking over to the office. Inside, Mia was sitting on the ground, playing with a stack of blocks.

"Mommy, Mama! Look at the castle I made!" she said excitedly. "I wanted to show you."

Olivia was a bit surprised at her daughter's demeanor, especially given her mood before the session began; however she certainly wanted to affirm Mia's happiness. "That's great, Mia!"

"Yeah, baby, I love it!" Alex echoed. The girl grinned with a shy pride.

"Mia, can you go sit with Ms. Stephanie for a little bit like we talked about while I check in with your moms?" Dr. Adams asked.

"Should I put my castle away first?"

"Nah, leave it! I want to show Ms. Stephanie later. It's a beautiful castle."

"Okay," Mia said with a grin before heading back to the waiting area to sit with the counseling firm's receptionist, a kind younger woman who the trio had met when they first arrived. Once the door closed behind her, Dr. Adams turned and smiled at the anticipant women sitting across from her.

"How did it go, Dr. Adams?" Olivia practically blurted out.

"Tiffany, please," the young woman corrected kindly. "Mia and I had a very good first session," she began. "Of course, therapy is a process, and most of today involved us gaining rapport. Her getting to know me and starting to trust me. And of course me getting to know a bit about her. You have a lovely daughter." Olivia and Alex smiled politely, and the psychologist continued. "Now, it's clear to me even now that Mia is definitely having some issues coping with stress and anxiety. For her, a lot of this seems to be manifesting as perfectionism…"

Olivia nodded. "She gets really upset when she doesn't do everything just right. Right before her session, she completely broke down for coloring outside the lines."

Tiffany gave her a sympathetic smile. "For Mia, not doing something the way that she thinks or hears is right makes her very anxious. So she might respond by crying or getting angry. It's difficult for children to communicate their feelings, so sometimes they express things in ways we aren't used to or that we might not understand."

"Did anything… like cause this?" the detective asked.

"Well, it could be a mix of things. Some might just be some of Mia's personality. Some might be behaviors that she picked up from watching others." Alex, on her part, grimaced at the implication. "Stress can make a lot of these behaviors pop up more frequently. I do want to evaluate her more to make sure I fully understand what she is feeling and why she is behaving the way that she is. She seems like she might be showing some symptoms of obsessive compulsive disorder – OCD. Which would be different from plain old perfectionism."

Alex frown, saddened and worried to hear of her daughter receiving a potential diagnosis. She had been hoping this was just average childhood growing pains. "What if it's OCD?"

"Well," Tiffany began, "There are a lot of different approaches to treatment. With children as young as Mia, it can be a little difficult to tailor approaches to something age-appropriate. But the plus side is that she hasn't had a lot of time to develop the unhealthy patterns and habits, so they are often easier to work through. I tend to start with just talk therapy and sometimes something called cognitive behavioral therapy – CBT. In some cases, it's useful to also have the child begin medication, usually an SSRI." The psychologist noted the panic that began to cross the older women's faces. "But, let's not get ahead of ourselves. After all, Mia and I have only just spent 45 minutes together," she added with a reassuring smile. Instead, let's get you all back on the schedule. Next week?"

*Page Break *Page Break*Page Break*Page Break*Page Break*Page Break*Page Break*

The car ride home was a bit tense. Mia, on her part, still seemed quite happy after talking to Tiffany, who she described as being very nice and fun. She explained how she and Tiffany had played with blocks while they were talking. That Mia told her about school and her sister and brother. Alex and Olivia tried, on their part, to feign as much enthusiasm as they could. Of course, they were undoubtedly happy that Mia seemed to have a good therapy session; however both women were still a bit nervous about their own conversation with Tiffany. What if Mia's "quirks" were a bit more serious than they had thought?

The trio arrived home not long after, relieving Lucy of her babysitting duties and greeting Sadie and Noah with kisses and hugs. Alex began to heat up dinner while Olivia and the kids played in the living room, enjoying each other's company after a long day.

Eventually, while lasagna finished in the oven, Alex joined the group, and they gathered to play Chutes and Ladders. Right before they were about to sit down to eat, the doorbell rang. Mia popped up from her position on the couch. "I'll get it!" she said, skipping towards the hall, "Just don't skip my turn!"

"Wait up, Mia," Olivia said, passing Noah on to Alex's lap and heading after her oldest daughter. The couple didn't like the kids answering the door without one of them present, fully aware of the dangers that could be in store if it wasn't in fact someone they knew.

Upon reaching the front of the hall, Mia turned around and looked back at her brunette mother. "Mommy, can I open it now?" Olivia nodded, joining her at the entrance way.

When the little girl opened the door and it swung open to reveal who was outside, Olivia's whole world froze. After what felt like minutes, she managed to speak, although the words croaked out of her in almost a whisper.

"Elliot?"

A/N: Please review!


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: Another chapter so I didn't leave you hanging on that cliff too long! I'll probably have a chance to update again before the weekend, but I can't procrastinate my homework too much unfortunately ;)

Choices

"Elliot?"

"Hi Liv."

Her former partner gave her a small, nervous smile, and Olivia took a moment to look him up and down. He looked older, which was to be expected. She did too. After all, it had been five years. But there was something about him that was just more… worn. His face was wrinkled with more worry lines than you would expect from someone who was retired, and his hair was mostly a patchy silver grey. He had grown out a scraggly beard and looked much thinner than Olivia remembered, standing there in a pair of loose-fitted trousers, a puffy winter jacket, and scarf. That said, underneath the heaviness that clouded his light grey eyes, he was Elliot. The man who had been her best friend, if that word was enough to cover it.

Her observation was interrupted by the sound of her daughter's voice. "Mommy," she hushed, tugging at the brunette's sweater. "Who's that?"

In her shock, Olivia had forgotten Mia was still standing there, but her maternal instincts kicked back in, and she mustered composure so as not to startle the little blonde, swallowing the heavy lump in her throat.

Before she could reply, however, Elliot crouched down slightly so that he was at Mia's level. "Mia, jeez, you've gotten so big. Remember me? I'm you unc – I'm your mom's old friend, Elliot," he corrected himself.

Mia gave Elliot a suspicious look, wrinkling her forehead as she tried to remember who the man was. Slowly, she shook her head.

Olivia let out a quiet breath before turning to the girl. "You haven't seen Elliot since you were a baby, Ladybug, so you probably don't remember him," she explained, giving Elliot a subtly pointed look. "Go ahead back on into the living room. I'll be there in a minute."

"And then we can finish the game?" Mia asked eagerly.

"Yeah baby," Olivia replied, forcing a smile. "You go ahead and spin for me until I'm back, okay?"

"Okay mommy!" the little girl replied, the immense gravity of the situation, thankfully, going over her head. The detective leaned over and pressed a kiss on the crown of her daughter's head before Mia scurried back down the hallway.

If anything, the palpable tension only grew in her absence.

After a moment of silence, Elliot cleared his throat awkwardly. "She seems like a great kid."

"Thank you," Olivia replied harshly. "What the fuck are you doing here, Elliot?"

"Look, Liv, I know that I fucked up…"

"Fucked up?" Olivia interrupted, her temper rising. "It's been five years. Five fucking years. No face-to-face, no phone call. Hell, not even an email," she added flippantly.

"I know, and I wanted to…"

"You wanted to, what, apologize…"

"Apologize and explain," Elliot interjected. "Liv, I know that I hurt you, and I hate that I did that. I just wanted a chance to see you, to talk," he explained before looking down sheepishly.

Olivia scoffed, chuckling in disbelief. She tried to force her eyes to stop watering, but she was losing her resolve and fast. All she wanted to do was shut the door, go back to her family, and forget that this interaction ever happened. Get back to the life that she had worked so hard at re-building after a time that had been one of the darkest in her life. Losing the baby. Losing Elliot. Feeling like she had lost Alex. "It's too late, Elliot."

Elliot grimaced, his own hurt evident in his eyes. As much as they had been apart for five years and had both become different people, Olivia could still read her former partner like the back of her hand. In many ways, she probably knew him better than she did herself. He certainly still knew more about her than anyone out there other than Alex.

"Olivia, come on, just give me a chance. I know we can, I mean —"

Before he could finish his scattering thoughts, a voice called out from nearby. "Elliot."

Olivia and Elliot turned to see Alex entering the front hall. The blonde looked nothing less than livid, normally cerulean eyes piercing and icy, a look normally reserved for the most heinous of criminals.

"Alex," Elliot greeted, exhaling heavily at the cross-armed attorney in front of him, slightly afraid of what was about to unfold. With Olivia, he knew he had the small chance of tapping into their undeniable bond from over the years. At least enough to have her hear him out. But Alex. From the looks she was giving him, Elliot was well-aware of her despite towards the man who had hurt her wife.

Alex gave him one more scorching look before turning her attention to Olivia, who in the interim of her arrival was beginning to lose her composure. Alex frowned as she noted the tears pooled in the detective's dark brown eyes, the fact that her hands were practically shaking. "Baby, are you okay?" she asked softly, moving to wrapped her arm around her wife.

Olivia managed a nod but leaned into the blonde for her support. "Uh, yeah, Al. Go on back to the kids. I'll be there soon."

"Kids?" Elliot interrupted in surprise, largely unaware that he had said it out loud. Both women looked at him. "I mean, after Mia… after, uh, after Max – "

Olivia felt Alex bristle next to her at the naming of their son. At that point, Olivia lost it. Protectively stepping slightly in front of Alex, the brunette postured herself forcefully in front of the male detective, eyes narrowing. "No, Elliot. No, you don't get to… You're not a part of our lives. You're not a part of _my_ life," she emphasized, tears now readily flowing down her cheeks. "I know that you went through something devastating. Actually, I don't know. I don't know the hell that you've been through with that, and I can't even imagine. But you and me… there is no us anymore, Elliot. You were gone for five years without a goodbye… without anything. It's over."

Alex reached her hand out to hold her now shuddering wife's hand. Elliot, on his part, looked entirely crest-fallen, frown-lines etched deeply on his face, his eyes glistening with their own tears. The two stood for what felt like minutes just looking at each other. Finally Elliot rubbed his palms over his face, wiping away the wetness and taking a deep breath.

"Liv, I can never make what I did up to you or even explain it. I know that I could never ask to be friends again and, hell, I know I'm probably out of line just in coming here. But I just, I just wanted to talk." Pausing he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small piece of cardstock. "Look, I'm gonna be in town the next couple of days, and just. Give me a call if you change your mind. It's all on your terms, I promise."

He held out the paper, and Olivia hesitated before accepting it. She nodded, too exhausted to fight anymore. "I'll think about it," she mustered, voice still raw and raspy.

"Thank you, Olivia," he said, taking a step backwards back out into the December cold. "I'm sorry… for all of this… for interrupting your evening. You too, Alex," he said. Both women remained quiet but gave him a small nod.

Unsure of how to leave the tense situation, he raised a hand to wave before turning on his heels and heading down the street, hands shoved into his pockets.

When he was out of sight, Alex finally reached around her wife, who seemed frozen in place, and shut the door. When she turned around, Olivia looked up at her wordlessly before collapsing into the blonde's arms.

Alex exhaled heavily, absorbing what had just happened as she gathered her wife into an embrace, holding her tightly. She could feel the detective heaving against her trying to hold back sobs.

"Let it out, baby," she whispered softly, pressing a tender kiss into Olivia's hair. She felt the brunette shake her head against her neck.

"Not yet," Olivia rasped. "The kids – I don't want to upset them. They've probably heard enough already." Alex nodded understandingly. "You go ahead back to them. I'm going to go clean up a little."

As Olivia headed to the upstairs restroom to splash some water on her face, the blonde headed back down the hallway. Much as Olivia anticipated, she was met with three sets of eyes peeking out from around the corner, slipping away quickly so as not to get caught. Alex took a deep breath before heading into the living room. The kids were sitting around the board game, pretending to just having been waiting for their parents. Sadie, however, quickly spoiled the apparent ruse.

"Is that man gone?" she asked her blonde mother blatantly.

Alex forced a small smile. "Yes, he is, Sade."

"Mia said he was Mommy's fwriend so why have we never see-d him before?"

"Well, he and your Mommy used to be friends a long time ago. Before you or Noah were even born. But they stopped being friends."

"When I was a baby?" Mia piped in.

Alex nodded. "When you were about Noah's age."

"Why are they not friends anymore," the small blonde asked.

Alex bit her lip. Obviously she couldn't explain the exact situation. "Sometimes friends just grow apart, sweetheart. It doesn't mean that the friendship didn't matter. Just that things change."

Mia nodded, not quite understanding but trying to absorb her mother's words.

"Mommy sad?" Noah asked, brown eyes wide. As young as he was, even he was aware that something was off.

"Mommy's a little sad," Alex affirmed. "So it's important that we all give her some extra love, okay guys?"

The three little heads nodded. "Love Mommy," Noah said with a smile.

"What is that about Mommy?" Olivia asked lightly, stepping around the corner and into the room towards the family. Her eyes were still puffy from crying, but Alex could tell that she had put a mask on, not wanting to worry the kids. Olivia was nothing if not skilled at compartmentalizing, sometime to a fault.

"We were just talking about how much we love Mommy," Alex said, giving her wife a smile and gently tugging her to sit between her legs. "Right guys?"

"We love you, Mommy!" Mia said cheerfully with Sadie and Noah echoing, Olivia laughing as Alex and the kids showered her in kisses.

"I love all of you too," the brunette replied, smile genuine as the family cuddled against each other. "Now how about we finish the board game before bedtime?"

The family resumed their game, giggling and enjoying each other's companies, giving Alex and especially Olivia as brief respite from the day's occurrences – well, at least partially. In the back of both women's mind was the therapy session with Mia and Elliot's visit – but if anything both of these things made they want to spend even more time with their kids. Noah had fallen asleep not long after, his bedtime earlier than the girls, and Alex had taken him up to his room around 7. It was now nearing a quarter past the hour, and their game was finishing up. Ultimately Mia won the game, much to her excitement.

As they were picking up the pieces, however, an unexpected question caught Alex and Olivia off-guard. "Hey Mommy, Mama," Sadie began, "Can I asks a question?"

"Of course, princess," Olivia replied, not thinking much of it. Sadie was notoriously curious, which was quite common at her age.

"Who's Max?"

A wide-eyed Olivia looked up at Alex, who had stilled in placing the lid back on the box of _Chutes and Ladders_. She could tell the blonde was trying not to look shaken up. The couple had never explained to their children what had happened to Max. When one-and-a-half year old Mia had once asked about the baby in her Mama's belly, they had explained that the baby had gone to live in heaven; however the little girl was too young to understand or even remember. Neither women liked to talk about losing Max, oftentimes only discussing him together when they visited his grave on his birthday. It was painful – a wound that had not and could not ever fully heal.

"Uh – " Olivia stuttered, unsure of how to address the question. She hadn't even realized that the kids overheard that part of her argument with Elliot. "Before you were born, Sadie, when Mia was very little, your Mama and I had a baby who we named Max."

Sadie's blue eyes widened in shock, and Mia, on her part, also looked startled. "What happened to him?" the younger girl asked.

Alex moved from where she was kneeling back over to Olivia's side, grabbing her wife's hand and squeezing it. "Max was born very, very early. The doctors tried to help him, but he didn't have time to grow enough in my belly, and he passed away," the blonde explained, blinking away a couple of tears.

"You miss him, Mama?"

"We miss him very, very much," Alex said softly, and Olivia kissed her temple. She was proud of her wife for being so strong, not only in this moment but for all of the healing that she had done. That they both had. She looked over at the girls. Sadie looked a bit confused by the whole thing, which made sense given her age. Mia, on the other hand, was old enough to understand more of what had happened, and out of all of the children she was also the most sensitive. Currently, she was quiet, fiddling with the hem of her dress.

"Are you okay, Mia?" Olivia asked, beckoning both girls to sit by them once more.

The little blonde shrugged. "I'm just sad."

Olivia placed a kiss on Mia's hair. "It's okay to be sad, sweetheart. Your Mama and I feel sad when we think about Max because we miss him."

"Is Max in heaven?" Sadie interjected.

"I think so, Sade," Alex said with a nod, running her fingers through the little brunette's curls.

"My teacher says that people and pets who we love who pass away are never really gone because they're looking over us," Mia added quietly. "Do you think that's true?"

Olivia gave her daughter a soft smile. "Yeah baby, I really do."

After giving each other more hugs and kisses, the women helped the girls get all ready for bed, tucking them in. Although their conversation about Max was difficult, both girls seemed to understand what had happened as much as they could, and while they both expressed feeling sad about it, the mothers tried to focus on just how much love they had for the girls and Noah. Much to their relief, by the time they had read them a couple of stories so that they were settled in, both girls fell asleep rather quickly.

By the time they reached their own room, Alex and Olivia were also exhausted but knew they knew that they needed to process what had happened with Elliot. The pair sat down on the edge of the bed, and Alex wrapped her arms around Olivia, pressing a gentle kiss to her temple. "How are you doing?"

Olivia sighed heavily, looking up at Alex. Her eyes had once more started filling with tears. She shrugged. "It's just so much."

"I know, baby. I am so sorry."

"I guess… I guess I had just given up on ever hearing from him a while ago," the detective explained. "It's not that I forgot him, but on a daily basis, you know… I had. He's not a part of my life anymore." Alex nodded, affirming Olivia's feeling while continuing to listen. "I just. Part of me wants to forget this all happened. Just go on and pretend he never came here… never said those things. But I don't – I don't know if I can," Olivia continued, beginning to cry again.

Alex moved so that she was crouching in front of Olivia, hands running up and down her jean-covered legs soothingly. "You don't need to make a decision about this right away, Liv. I mean, if you never want to see Elliot again, that's your choice. And I will support that, frankly because I don't trust him after what he did to you, regardless of the circumstances. But if you do decide you want to talk to him, tomorrow, next month, five more years from now, I will also support you. No matter what baby, I'm here for you.

Olivia leaned over and pressed a tender kiss to Alex's lips, as much for her own comfort as anything else. "Thank you. You have no idea how much that means to me." Blue eyes glistening, Alex smiled softly, caressing the side of Olivia's face, wiping away some of the wetness. Olivia breathed out, blinking away a new trickle of tears. "I think I want to meet with him. I don't know… it's probably me being stupid, but maybe I could get some sort of closure."

"You are the farthest thing from stupid, Olivia Benson."

"I think I'm going to get in touch with him… In the morning. So I don't have to keep going back and forth."

"Okay sweetheart," Alex said, squeezing one of her hands. "Do you want me to be there with you? We can have Lucy watch the kids."

Olivia shook her head. "I think I need to do this alone if that's okay?"

"Of course, Liv. This is all your decision."

"You're too good to me," Olivia said, giving Alex a playful smile before guiding them both to their feet and pulling the blonde into a tight hug.

After a moment, Alex spoke once more. "He just better not hurt you again, or I swear to God I will need to hire Langan as defensive counsel." Giving a slightly bitter laugh, Olivia smiled through tears, knowing that no matter what happened when she next spoke to Elliot, at the end of the day she would be alright with Alex and their kids by her side.


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: Thank you so much for all of those who have reviewed! I have a request pending for Alex and Olivia's engagement, and feel free to forward other prompts my way!

I am also thinking of writing a new fanfic in a different A/O universe starting with "Scorched Earth" and rewriting the seasons as I would have had them lol. Would folks be interested?

Setting: Same as last two chapters

Rating: PG

Closure

Olivia fiddled with the paper placemat in front of her, slightly tearing at the material as she waited (impatiently) in front of a still full glass of tea. She had opted against coffee, hoping that the chamomile in front of her would do something to sooth her nerves, but that would involve bringing herself to still long enough to drink. _Maybe he isn't coming_ , she wondered. Part of her hoped that he did although there was an equally strong part of her that hoped that he didn't. After Elliot had arrived on her doorstep a couple of days prior, she had briefly wondered if she should wait to contact him – let herself have some time to process. She realized however that she would never be ready for this conversation no matter how long she waited. The following day she had texted Elliot's new number – an empty contact in her phone – asking if they could meet to talk. Even over text message, the man seemed shocked. He said that he was in town visiting Maureen for a couple more days before he headed back home (wherever that now was), and they arranged to meet at a diner in lower Manhattan that they used to frequent.

When Olivia stepped of the subway about twenty minutes prior, she received a text message from Elliot profusely apologizing that he had gotten caught up with the family and was running slightly late from Williamsburg. Figuring it was better than waiting on the street in the brisk cold, the female detective had offered to grab them a table. She ordered a tea while she waited, stomach turning too much to even dare food. The extra time only gave her more of a chance to grow in anxious anticipation for what was to come. And the tea remained untouched.

Olivia had positioned herself to be facing the door, so she was not startled when a few minutes later the diner door swung open, and Elliot entered the establishment. The waitress didn't recognize him. She was a new girl after all – almost all of the staff who had once known them as regulars were no longer working there. Things had changed. Elliot looked around the room anxiously as though he was expecting not to find Olivia waiting for him. But she was. Catching his eye, the brunette beckoned him over to the table where she was sitting. Her former partner gave her a small smile before walking towards her and sliding into the booth.

"Hey Liv."

"Elliot."

Before either could break the ensuing awkward silence, the bottle blonde waitress approached their table. "Somethin' to drink?" the girl asked Elliot, snapping her chewing gum.

"Uhh, just some water – water for now please."

The waitress nodded. "Youse guys gonna want something to eat?" she asked in a thick Brooklyn accent.

Olivia looked up at Elliot, who shook his head. "I think we're okay for now," she replied politely.

"Okay, just give me a holler if youse change your minds." She grabbed the menus off of the table. "I'll be back inna minute with your water."

After the younger woman stalked off, Olivia and Elliot were quiet for another second, frankly taking in each other's rather changed experiences even though they had seen each other the other night. Olivia was struck once more by just how old Elliot looked. Eager to get some sort of conversation going, however, the brunette woman finally spoke. "So is everything okay… with the family?" she added. "You said you got caught up?"

"Yeah," Elliot said with a sigh (mostly of relief that Olivia had broken the silence). "I'm really sorry about that. I had offered to watch Sammy… uh, my grandson, until the nanny arrived but he was running late.

Olivia eyebrows shot up. If Elliot had been surprised that she and Alex had more children, now it was her turn. Her ex-partner, much to her disbelief, was a grandfather. "Grandson?" Olivia asked, trying to keep her voice from cracking.

The former detective nodded, reaching into his coat pocket and pulling out his cell phone. He opened his "Photos" and pulled up a picture of a young red-headed boy who was maybe about Noah's age. "This is Sammy, Samuel," Elliot said with a small smile. In spite of the awkwardness of the situation, he was clearly a proud grandfather. "He's two. Maureen got married a couple years ago. This guy Derek who she met in med school. He's a good man. They're expecting a little girl in a few months, but she's still working for another month."

"He's beautiful," Olivia replied, looking at the image. "I just can't believe Maureen is old enough to have children."

Elliot gave a small chuckle. "If I had had it my way, she never would have been old enough." Olivia smirked slightly, remembering just how protective he had always been over his children. "But yeah, she turned 32 this past September. I guess being a young parent means being a young grandparent too," he added with a shrug.

"How are the other kids?" Olivia asked. Although she knew that they had to discuss the elephant in the room, she suddenly felt like she needed to hear about the rest of the Stablers. Their lives. After all, they had been nothing but her own family for years. Her heart ached at the thought of having lost not only her friendship with Elliot, but also Kathy and the kids, who she cared so much about.

"Well, Kathleen's 27 now. She's doing good. Really good. She's gotten really involved in victim's rights advocacy and uh, yeah she's taking good care of herself. She's living in Portland with her fiancée Natalie," Elliot said, swiping past a few photos to show a picture of Kathleen smiling and hugging a young woman with mocha skin and curly hair while they were standing in front of the Space Needle. After giving Olivia a chance to look at the photo, he swiped ahead again and found a photo of the twins in graduation gowns. "Richard and Liz graduated from Hofstra last year. Richard's in grad school getting his MBA, and Liz is taking a gap year teaching English in France."

"I remember how much she always wanted to visit," Olivia said wistfully. "We used to talk about all of the sights."

"Did you ever wind up going?" Elliot asked.

The brunette nodded. "Alex and I went a couple of years ago."

Elliot nodded solemnly. It was a little thing but it reminded him of how much that he had missed about his former best friend's life. He coughed slightly, subtly clearing the emotions from his voice. "And he's Eli of course with Kathy. They're joined at the hip when she's home. She's been working a lot of hours at the hospital. This is at his ninth birthday party."

"He likes baseball?" Olivia asked, noting the theme of his party.

"Yeah, he does. I actually coach his little league team. I wanna take him to a Yanks game when the season starts up."

"Wow, a Little League coach. Very Suburban dad."

Elliot chuckled. "Yeah well, there's not much else to do up in Albany but to try to enjoy the weather when it's nice."

"Albany?" Olivia whispered.

"Uh yeah," Elliot affirmed, discomfort evident in his voice. "We moved there after… you know. Kathy has family there. It's been… It's good. Different."

Olivia swallowed the lump in her throat, startled when the waitress returned with Elliot's water. "Sorry it took so long. We're slammed! Youse guys gonna need the table long?" Again the former partners looked at each other, unsure of what to say.

"Uhh, not long," Elliot replied slowly. "Just going to finish up our drinks," he said, gesturing to Olivia's still-full tea. The waitress nodded, only half-paying attention before she rushed off to where another customer was calling her name. Both Olivia and Elliot took a sip of their drinks.

"So, uh, how about Alex and the, well the kids?"

"Uh, well, you saw Alex," Olivia replied, noting the quite tense moment that the trio had shared just a few nights prior. "She's doing well. After I got promoted… uh to Sergeant, she switched over to Homicide as Bureau Chief. It looks like a DAship is down the pike," she said, unable to hold back a proud smile at her wife's accomplishments.

"I'm not surprised. She always was the best ADA that we had. And congratulations on Sergeant, Liv. When I heard about it, I mean – there's no one better for the job."

Olivia held back a look of confusion. When he heard about it? Was Elliot keeping up on how she was doing? Managing to conceal perplexity, she nodded. "Thank you." She fumbled with her phone, trying to get back to task and smiled fondly when she found a photo of the kids, showing it to her counterpart. "Uh, well, these are our kids. You know Mia…"

"I can't believe how big she's gotten. She looks like a mini version of Alex."

Olivia nodded. "Acts like her too."

"That must keep you on your toes," Elliot kidded.

Olivia chuckled. "I'll be sure not to tell Alex that you said that," she replied before becoming solemn. It was too easy to slip back into old patterns with Elliot, to joke around and read each other like they used to. To pretend that nothing had changed when everything had. She cleared her throat. "But um, Sadie here, she's the one that really keeps us on our toes. She's four now. And then our youngest is Noah, who we adopted officially last year."

After examining the photo for several moments, Elliot looked up at his partner, and Olivia could've sworn his eyes were glassy. "They're beautiful, Olivia. You seem really good… happy."

Olivia nodded, a lump growing in her own throat. "I really am."

Elliot paused, looking down before he began to speak, voice cracking. "I uh – I. What happened back with the case, with the girl. I didn't handle it well. I couldn't – I just couldn't deal. I mean, she was just a kid and… I know it was protocol but after that? I couldn't just go back after that."

Olivia exhaled heavily. "Why didn't you talk to me," she asked, verbalizing the question that burned in the back of her mind for five years."

Elliot went to speak only for his mouth to gap. He sighed. "Honestly Olivia, I don't know. I – I dialed the phone to call you. I was going to write you something at least. A month after it happened I was halfway to the precinct to come talk to you but I – I turned around. I don't know why I didn't talk to you, Olivia. And I will never forgive myself for that."

In a way, it was a lack of answer that answered everything. Olivia shrugged, her eyes filling with tears. "I wanted to be there for you," she choked out.

Elliot nodded solemnly. "I know that you did."

"You left. After everything. After all of those years. After – after Max. You just up and left."

"I'm sorry, Liv."

Olivia closed her eyes and breathed in, willing herself to remain controlled. She needed to be strong here. Later, she could fall apart. Later in her home. Later in Alex's arms.

"I don't know if I can forgive you, Elliot."

As much as he didn't want to hear it, as much as he had fantasied about a happier ending, Elliot knew he couldn't expect his former partner to ever forgive him for just disappearing. He dropped his head, a motion of shame and exhaustion. "I know." The pair were quiet again, the air full of all of the pain and confusion of the last five years. Finally, Elliot spoke again.

"Olivia, you know I'm not good with words. We aren't – well, at least I never was and I'm still not. But you. I love you, Olivia. I mean, there were a lot of times when I loved you more than I should have but… I am so thankful to have had your friendship in my life. It is truly one of the best things that even happened to me. And I know that I damaged it beyond repair and that it's unforgivable. But just – I'm glad that you're happy, Olivia. You more than anything deserve all of the happiness in the world.

Olivia fought back tears as she looked up at the man who had been her partner. The man who had saved her life multiple times, in more way than one. The man who she had spent long nights with talking and laughing with on stake-outs. The man who had held her together on that dirt road when the love of her life was carted away in WPP and her whole world had crumbled apart. The man whose son she had helped birth into this world. The man who consoled her after the loss of her own son. The man who had been her best friend.

Underneath it all, he was still that man.

Underneath it all, it was all still broken.

It's strange. Olivia had always felt that if she ever saw Elliot again, that maybe just maybe they could talk and sort things out. That she could finally understand why he did what he did. But now that it had happened, she realized that she didn't and would never know. Maybe Elliot wouldn't either. She had been angry at him for five years. Deeply deeply hurt and confused. But in that moment, those feelings began to subside. Because as much as having Elliot leave was painful, Olivia realized in that moment that she had also moved on, and with her family, she really did have all of the happiness she could have imagined.

She had always thought that closure meant reconciliation, but now she realized that closure might just be the healing of a wound.

"I want you to be happy too, Elliot."

Elliot swallowed heavily. "Maybe one day," he replied solemnly. The pair stood, and the gruff, tired man wrapped his arms around the smaller detective. "Take care of yourself, Olivia," he whispered, voice cracking slightly with emotions.

Once they broke apart, Elliot placed a ten dollar bill on the table to cover Olivia's drink and a hefty tip for the waitress. Olivia watched as he walked towards the door, giving one last look over his shoulder at her before he exited, a sad smile on both of their faces. The bells on the diner door clanged as it shut, and Olivia took a deep breath.

"Goodbye, Elliot."


End file.
